So, I finally talked to an IBCLC about trying to relactate, and she asked me how long I've been trying. Which has been almost a month...Basically she doesn't think that my efforts are getting me anywhere because I'm not getting any real results. Which I thought I was. At the start I was MAYBE getting a bead or two of milk, now I'm getting drops, and every once in a while, when I hand express, milk shoots out. I thought this WAS progress.
She suggested I try Domperidone, but that's an out-of-pocket expense that I know we really can't afford. [And though I'd happily throw the money at it and forgo somethings else, I just KNOW my husband is not going to go for it. I feel bad, but I wish I didn't even have to go to him about it and just do what I want, screw what anyone one else thinks, so to speak.]
Now I feel lost and like I may be doing all this for nothing! Only I don't want to give up, but if I'm just beating my head against a brick wall, what's the point? Am I just being stubborn? I thought this was possible...I thought I was actually getting somewhere.
I feel like crying right now, and I feel WELL beyond irrational. I want to go back in time and kick myself for not pushing harder when I actually did have a supply. I don't even want to be around myself right now...