I'll start by saying that I feel that the whole breastfeeding experience is slipping away from me and it breaks my heart.
I posted for the first time on here a few weeks ago with quite a list of issues and was hoping I wouldn't have to post anymore -- no such luck! I had some difficult issues from the beginning -- latching, recurrent plugged ducts, poor weight gain. After posting my last thread, I worked really really hard at improving my baby's latch ... and things did get better. She is 9 weeks now. Because I was worried about her weight gain (it was on the low end and some weeks not acceptable) and because she sometimes doesn't seem satisfied in the evenings, I also started supplementing twice in the evening after feedings with 2 oz each time (so total of 4 oz extra each day). Things seemed to be getting better. Now, with that said, I feel I should also mention that my doctor prescribed Reglan to help with my milk supply -- I felt it had decreased due to my baby's ineffective latch and issue with snoozing at the boob too much. I definitely saw an increase in my milk supply. But, I am NOT considering taking it again because I have since discovered all of the risks associated with it. I definitely experienced anxiety while on it.
So here is the breakdown of her weight gain during the past few weeks (when things improved):
Week before starting the extra 4 oz. supplement: 3 to 4 ounce gain in one week
Week before taking Reglan -- 6 ounce gain in one week
After first week of taking Reglan -- 9 to 10 ounce gain in one week
After second week of taking Reglan -- 7 ounce gain
That brings me to when the problems started up again. A few things happened over the course of a few days and I would love to know what people think and whether any of them could be the issue with a sudden drop in my baby's weight. First, my little girl suddenly decided to sleep longer at night -- around 7 to 7 1/2 hours. Second, because of the longer interval at night, my plugged ducts came back (and big time!). And, third, my baby (and I) were diagnosed with thrush. I decided to weigh my baby yesterday because I just felt that she wasn't getting as much during sessions and sensed that my milk had decreased after getting those really bad plugged ducts. I felt (and feel) like I'm barely making any milk. For example, before she slept through the night and the plugged ducts came back, I was pretty full in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning and my baby would get in two really good nursing sessions. Now, she seems frustrated even when she nurses in the morning. Well, sure enough, from Monday to Friday she had lost about 1/2 to 1 ounce. Weighed her again today and more loss -- total of about 2 1/2 ounces since Monday.
I am so upset over this I am in tears. I thought that we had finally gotten to a decent routine -- not perfect, but good given all of our problems! And, to top it off, my supply of frozen BM is gone and I had to introduce formula tonight for the first time. I am SO upset (which my husband just doesn't get at all). Honestly, all of this makes me feel like a failure. I know that BM is the BEST thing for my baby and the only one that can give it to her is me ... and I can't do that all of sudden! She hasn't lost weight since being in the hospital! What is going on?!?
I am also going back to work full time in three weeks and am freaking out because my milk supply is already disappearing! Like I said at the beginning of this post, I feel that the whole breastfeeding experience is slipping away from me and it breaks my heart. Sorry this post is so long but I just need someone to listen. And any advice would be appreciated. I am at a loss. Should I start pumping again? And only during the times I'll be able to breastfeed her or pump while at work? I want this to work so bad! I know I'll have to supplement with formula when I go back to work but I at least still want to be able to breastfeed!! HELP!