Feeling discouraged

[@llli*missjane]

My LO is 5 weeks old and has had a slow weight gain. She was 6 lbs 4 oz at birth and now is just 6 lbs 11 oz. We saw the pediatrician on Tuesday who didn't seem concerned about her slow gain, however, I was concerned. I made an appointment and saw a lactation consultant today. In 30 minutes of nursing she was only able to transfer 26 ml. Up to this point she has been nursing nearly around the clock. The plan is now to nurse, pump, and supplement with what I can pump, adding formula as needed. I will do whatever it takes to nourish my baby. We believe the difficulty transferring milk is due to her tongue tie. The discouraging part is now I keep hearing "I told you that you were starving that baby" from family members. How do I deal with these remarks?

[@llli*lllmom24]

I'm so sorry your family is less than supportive. Seriously, if you were *starving* your baby, your pediatrician would have told you, or at least I think s/he would have. Maybe a thanks, but no thanks kind of response would satisfy them and not keep bringing you down. "Thanks for your concern. I was concerned, too, which is why I'm working with a lactation consultant who's helping me feed my baby and build my milk supply." Or, if you're not feeling so chipper, a bit of a thanks for your concern now butt out would be better.
Hats off to you for listening to your gut. I would hope your family could see that if you hadn't listened to your inner mommy voice and sought the help of a lactation consultant, things might be going from bad to worse.

[@llli*maddieb]

Oh sigh. I am so sorry you are getting such unkind remarks on top of your very real concerns about your baby! Lllmom24’s ideas for responding are good, frankly I would have such a hard time holding my temper I don't know WHAT I would say. I don’t know if it helps, but breastfeeding moms are routinely accused of “starving” their babies even when a baby is gaining just fine. It's just ignorance talking.

It sounds like you are getting a handle on what the problem is and are getting good help, so try not to feel discouraged just when a possible solution is at hand and a plan is in place. Has your baby had the tt clipped or has that been recommended? There are a few moms on here with tt experience.

[@llli*missjane]

The pediatrician wanted to wait til she was 6 weeks old to get her tongue snipped. So far we've gone 4 rounds of nursing, pumping, and bottle feeding. She's like a different baby. Happy and content instead of fussy. Thanks for your words of encouragement. New moms can definately use a lot more pats on the back and a lot less criticism.

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

You need to find an ENT and have that snipped sooner. Bottles for that long in a little baby like this may trap you into EPing. Try always finishing at the breast. Yes, it sucks, but do you really want to pump 8 times a day for the next year? No.

Find a local IBCLC and ask for an ENT's name. Your ped is nutty for wanting to wait on this to them.

[@llli*pizanite]

I just want to chime in and say go ahead and get the TT clipped! Can your LC recommend a good ENT? I would make an appt and let the ENT assess the TT. I don't think peds are that experienced. My ped told me my DD's TT was "not that bad" but when I saw the ENT he recommended having it clipped. It was a quick procedure, I nursed her right away afterward, and she never showed any signs of pain in the coming hours/days. And it improved bfing tremendously!

Keep up the good work! I got comments from my family (from afar), but I just told them I was having her seen by specialists, etc. (ENT and speech language pathologist). The SLP even wrote up a 14-page pediatric feeding report, so I had that out when my MIL came to visit so she could see there was a medical reason why her feedings weren't easy. You are doing a great job, and trust me, after TT is fixed, feedings are a lot easier!

[@llli*maddieb]

The pediatrician wanted to wait til she was 6 weeks old to get her tongue snipped.

WHY OH WHY. My pediatrician has snipped babies who are hours old in the hospital. I agree with pp-do your own research but I do not know what your doctor is waiting for.

I am soooo glad things are going so much better, but if the issue is tt you could likely avoid all this or at least some of this pumping and bottles etc. and just nurse once that is taken care of.

Whoever does it, make sure they give you an aftercare plan, sometimes post snip babies need exercises etc. to help with mobility and reduce the tightening effects of scaring.

[@llli*maddieb]

Miss jane I just saw your response post in another thread. It sounds like you are still struggling. Has you baby been treated for tt yet?

[@llli*missjane]

She had her tongue clipped yesterday morning and did very well. She has gained 10 ounces in the past week but is still very small. We are still nursing/pumping/supplementing. I'm not getting very much when I pump so most of the supplementing is formula. At night I let her nurse as long as she wants which is usually until she falls asleep. She rarely needs supplement at night. During the day I usually pump about 6-7 times, getting around half an ounce each time. Today, however, I have gotten about 1 1/2 ounces each time and she eats it all. I'm still hearing negative comments from my family, but I am learning to ignore them. My husband is very supportive and helping fend them off. We are having weekly appointments with the pediatrician and lactation consultant to ensure that we keep on this upward turn. Still discouraged, but very determined to succeed.

[@llli*maddieb]

She has gained 10 ounces in the past week

This is excellent, above average weight gain! How small baby was before when weight gain was clearly being affected by the tt does not matter, what matters is babies weight gain now, I would think-does your hcp disagree? do you have support from you hcp to begin to wean off the supplements? the sooner you can nurse exclusively and put away the pump the easier this will all be.

Try not to worry about how much you get when you pump. Pump out put tells you very little and it can really make a mom fret unnecessarily. If your baby is nursing well now, baby is able to extract milk much more efficiently than the pump. If baby is nursing around the clock as effectively as baby should be, the average output for a pumping session would be ½ to 2 ounces-and that would be for just a few extra sessions a day…If baby is nursing well at least 10 times a day, and you are getting a half ounce each time pumping 7 times a day, then it sounds like you are pumping an EXTRA 3-4 or ounces a day-or more! But then if baby is continuously topped off with this extra pumped milk or with formula, they will not nurse as much as they should.

A baby will eat everything they are offered in a bottle almost all the time, hungry or not. This is not a good way to gage if baby is getting enough when nursing. If baby appears hungry after a nursing session, nurse again. You cannot nurse too often!

Watch output and weight gain to gage if baby is getting enough. It can be very scary for mom to wean baby off supplements, and it is often largely a confidence issue. But I would suggest tostart working towards that, under the guidance of your hcp or LC if possible.