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Thread: wondering - will he ever want to wean himself?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    240

    Default wondering - will he ever want to wean himself?

    I have been breastfeeding my son, now 3 1/2 years old, from birth and now I am entertaining secret hopes that he will wean himself anytime soon.
    Don't get me wrong - I have really enjoyed breastfeeding him but now I sometimes just want to stop. We went through several difficult patches with the bf - last time about a year ago, right now it is not so much any particular difficulty but rather the general feeling that I would rather not do it anymore but have my breasts to myself.

    The pattern has been very stable now for over a year, he drinks just before falling asleep (this can vary in length, sometimes just a few sips, sometimes 10 minutes). And then again in the morning, just as he wakes up he wants to drink, but then both breasts in turn, and each one about 5-6 minutes. Some mornings I tell him to stop earlier as we must get up and i get impatient with his ritual. I should add we co-sleep (but he has his own bed right next to mine).
    I have taken up work again 6 months ago, and he now attends pre-school.

    Can I be sure he will stop some time on his own time? I found worrying stories on the 'net of children who just keep it up...

    Is there someone out there who can relate? I know I will miss the bf but at the same time I want to stop. I feel torn, and cannot bring myself to force the issue with him.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    860

    Default Re: wondering - will he ever want to wean himself?

    I hear you loud and clear! I know how it feels to be nursing an otherwise independent healthy willful clever cheerful cute as a button boy!
    You can be the conduit to show him what is possible, to show him other ways he can have quality one on one mommy time with out nursing.
    If he readily and with out fuss will drink a sippy cup while sitting on your lap and you sing or read to him...
    If he resists, if he cries and needs to nurse instead, then I would respect his wishes.
    Children do not nurse past the point of needing to, either nutritionally or emotionally.
    That's how I did it, and it actually caught me by surprise how quickly ds3 happily preferred puzzles, books and songs instead of breastfeeding.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,370

    Default Re: wondering - will he ever want to wean himself?

    He will eventually stop. It just might not be in your ideal time frame! If you're feeling uncomfortable with continuing to nurse, feel free to set more boundaries. Time limits can be helpful- with my first LO I made a rule that she could nurse until I finished singing "Twinkle Twinkle" and then I limited it to nursing until I finished counting to ten.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: wondering - will he ever want to wean himself?

    He will eventually stop. But Mommal is right. If you do child led, his time frame will probably not be NOW or any time soon. Are you down to only twice a day or is he still napping? My son stopped when he was 4.5 years old. And We had a fairly major weaning party. That we talked about for a full year before. It was at Chuckie Cheese which is somewhere I would never ever take him before. So that was the proverbial carrot that was dangled. I think it was really great and rewarding that we were able to talk about it ahead of time. And that he got to choose to walk away from it on his own. By the last 6months we were going whole days with out doing it. Because with the dropping of the naps and the going to preschool on the morning of preschool I had to wake him up so there wasn't time. And 1-2 time a week I would pick him up somewhere late and he would fall asleep in the car. And we consciously night weaned right around 3.5. So in the end it was only the wake up sessions and only on days that he didn't go to school. And then only when he remembered or cared. I am going to bump something I wrote in the process for you. It's called "Before I forget." It will be in the weaning section.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,940

    Default Re: wondering - will he ever want to wean himself?

    You may have to push a little if you are feeling that way. The am ones drove me nuts too. I started trying distract away from it like "Hey! Let's go make some PANCAKES!" or "Lets get dressed and go to the playground!" It was easier to get rid of that one than the night time one.
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: wondering - will he ever want to wean himself?

    hey ladies, i just realised i posted in the worng forum i suppose - i did not notice there was one only on weaning (talk about having seconds thoughts about weaning - made me blind!)

    Thank you so much, it helps to know others have been there too. I iwll go and read some more in the weaning one, very interesting.

    We do a lot of counting btw, in the morning as he loves numbers. It works well to limit the time.
    I do not really mind the evening one before going to sleep but the morning is really irritating. He simply does not want to get up but prefers to stay put, suckling and telling me that he will be finished shortly

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