pacifer use, reflux, exhausted crazy post

[@llli*mommylove]

Hi there friends. Been reading almost every post I can because they always address many topics Im concerned about- But I am struggling with something in the here and now and really am not sure what to do???

I asked about pacifiers a few days ago... I STILL am unsure about this issue. I am pretty much letting him use me any time he needs to suck, I offer to nurse him all the time, its fine with me, Im happy to provide for him, like we discuss, its more than nutrition, warmth, bonding,etc, but I had to take a long drive to the dr for my 6 week check up, he is 6 weeksw obviously btw, , and my sister rode with me to help out- 1 1/2 each way.Anyways, usually he snoozes in the car, but this time it was not happening- I had to stop 3 times, nurse, rock, console, I could not get him to relax and be happy, and ofcouse she is pushing the pacifier as much as my mom is.. He had a very hard day- was unhappy most of it unless I was holding him, I w I asked his Dr about them on Mon- she breastfed 3 babies and used pacifiers- took him in for possible silent reflux- we are treating it now- seems to be better but only been a few days so?? Symptoms of that are gagging, 'chewing'something, always prefers being upright- its like a lightswitch, starting a week or so ago, fussies in the evening, maybe gas pain or belly pain...im all over the place sorry!!! it is also frustrating me and my fam, bc they seem to not be able to console them, and ofcourse I do my best and i think its just natural for him to prefer me... I am home all day with him. Seems like he does great with me! I love it! But yes I hold him, carry him, wear him all day long pretty much. He does have moments of play on his swing or jungle mat- which I feel he needs, he is there right now, i am typing crazy sorry, i know you all will understand..lol So with the pacifier- i am seriously torn up about it, somethimes, esp recently, when he is fussy, I offer him to nurse, he will immediately and then after a few seconds my milk will let down and he pulls away unhappy, or stick latched but pulling away- that is why I think he needs to suck so much more? It literally seemed like he nurses all day long, short sessions, maybe growth spurt? It seems like he has always been a frequent nurser unless he is napping... Im just afraid Im doing something wrong and Im about to break with the pressure from fam! This post is crazy and Im sorry! I am having a hard time past few days! Any advise please help!

[@llli*rnmomma2012]

You arent doing anything wrong! Every baby, every momma is so different! That being said, I was in the same boat a few weeks ago and I broke down and gave him the paci (Avent soothie). I think it probably saved my sanity and breastfeeding relationship! Daddy can give him paci and calm him down for a bit so I get a break. He wants to suck but gets SO MAD when he gets milk. I do use it sparingly. I'll let him have it for a bit then offer breast. If he still doesnt want it then back to paci. You just have to watch his cues closely and eventually you'll know what he wants. Little man also has silent reflux. Have you tried the rock n play sleeper? It keeps baby at an incline and he sleeps SO well in it! This has also saved my sanity. I'm no expert by any means, but these things have saved our household and kept me bf-ing. Otherwise I probably would have quit weeks ago. It works for us. I hope you find something that works for you!

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

I had a firehouse letdown, and I used a pacifier with my two oldest kids. They had a high suck need, but my letdown bugged them. So when I knew they were hungry, I nursed. When they were not hungry, I used a pacifier. Or in situations where I could not nurse, like in the car. It is a TOOL, nothing more. And it should never be used to force a child into a schedule or to space feedings out. But I had one baby where I opted to never introduce a pacifier, and he nursed just as much as the others, which was a lot.

If YOU don't want to use one, don't. What you are describing is actually very NORMAL. Tell your family to quit bothering you ()

[@llli*phi]

You are not doing anything wrong. I introduced a pacifier around 2 months, I think, because my baby refused to comfort nurse due to my insanely forceful letdown, and he still nursed around the clock and generally only wanted comfort from me. Pacifiers don't change that. What you are describing is normal newborn behavior, and I would not introduce a pacifier unless you feel that you need to use one. Don't let anyone else influence your decision on this. It sounds like you are getting on just fine without it.

[@llli*mommylove]

Thank you ladies so much! So there is a balance and coexistence btwn paci and bf! I def needed to hear that atleast this is a common challenge- I think I am afraid of some negative side affects with using pacifiers that I've been warned about- mainly that it will affect my supply Also, I am afraid as soon as I give it to him he will always demand it..Just clueless first time mom exhaustion getting to me I suppose.

[@llli*phi]

I always offered to nurse first, and if my baby made it clear to me that he wasn't hungry then I let him have the pacifier. It was always a last resort. Pacifiers can cause problems if they are given when the baby is hungry or used all night and delay waking to nurse. However if you use it prudently, then it is unlikely to cause major problems.

[@llli*esthervegan]

agree w/ PP. If a baby is gaining weight, is being nursed when hungry ,using a pacifier to sooth or relax is a welcomed respite for both mother and baby.