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Thread: Thinking ahead...

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Virginia
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    362

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    Momma, you have gotten some great advice. I, too, was planning on weaning at the one year mark. No one in our families had ever breastfed to a year and very few had tried at all. I honeslty don't mention it much to people outside our little home, unless I know they are extended breastfeeding friendly. We are now at the 21 month mark and still going strong. I wouldn't take that tool away if someone told me to. When my little guy is in the midst of teething and seems so miserable, he can nurse, and the world gets so much better for him. There is a ton of info on the benefits of extended bf, but that alone makes it so worth it to me.
    FT working momma to a 9/11/10 busy boy and 11/13/12 happy little man.
    Also wife to hubs since 8/23/08, bonus momma to H (girl) -99 and G (boy)-03

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    58

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    I mean I don't believe in it, for myself. Personally I feel that children who are learning to talk and getting ready for preschool shouldn't breastfeed, but that is only my opinion for myself and my son and may change as he grows.
    As for the six month recommendation, there were all sorts of advertisements promoting breast feeding in my area (oregon) around two years ago that said it. Also WHO has this to say on their website "Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond." Which to my 19 year old, not planning on babies anytime self probably sounded like "6 months".
    I am sure a lot of more hands on and dedicated breastfeeding moms would judge a lot of my parenting choices, and honestly most of the women I know do because they didn't breastfeed past a month, generally by choice. But there doesn't seem to be any middle ground for women like me so I would rather be looked down on a little by women who have to fight for their parenting beliefs, than women who give up and let what's easiest be their only option.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,562

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    12 month olds aren't getting ready to go to preschool. Neither are 17 month olds. And they are learning to talk the minute they come out of the womb. My 17 month old has a handful of words - and she could say dada at 9ish months. My first daughter said dog at 9 months. I guess I should have weaned them.

    The thing about what you posted about the WHO is that they say breastfeed "exclusively" for 6 months. THEN you introduce other foods, but still breastfeed. And I believe that the American Academy of Pediatricians says to breastfeed for one year and THEN as long as the mother and child want to.

    ETA: I guess you already realized that hippehpanda. I guess I don't understand why you think the way you do. Is it that you think it's gross? What is it about nursing babies that are learning to talk that bothers you? I'm not trying to be argumentative here, I am really curious.
    Last edited by @llli*mommy2lilah; June 7th, 2012 at 08:41 AM.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    1,293

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    i do not understand the idea that children should not be nursing if they can talk. what is the logic behind that? how does talking relate to nursing? i don't see any connection.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,353

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    2 days before my oldest kid was born, my BIL called me up and said "Tell me all the things you won't do with your child". So I rattled off a whole list of stuff- no crying baby in a restaurant, no pacifiers, no TV as a babysitter, not going to nurse longer than 12 months, etc. My BIL (father of 3) listened patiently for a few minutes, and then said "All those things you just said? You'll do them". And you know what? He was right!

    My point is, unless you want to embrace a strong chance of eventually eating your own words, don't make hard-and-fast, absolute statements. Babies and children and their needs tend to humble us. "The best-laid plans of mice and men go oft awry," right?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,562

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    Oh mommal. no TV as a babysitter. Me too!!!
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Shakedown St.
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    1,176

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    My point is, unless you want to embrace a strong chance of eventually eating your own words, don't make hard-and-fast, absolute statements. Babies and children and their needs tend to humble us. "The best-laid plans of mice and men go oft awry," right?


    My husband has had all kinds of plans for weaning our son. After his first word. Once he can walk. When he can ask for it. He recently admitted that as long as our son is asking for milk it means he still needs it. It's easy to make plans while ignoring unforeseen circumstances; it's much more difficult to actually see them through.

    I never thought I would be nursing a toddler, but now with all these flipping teeth (canines seem as bad as the molars!) I don't know how anyone can survive the second year without nursing!
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    58

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    By preschool I meant 3, which is when it starts in my area for more advanced tykes, and by learning to talk I meant understanding and saying sentences. I mean my son says 'wow' and 'no' sometimes but he isn't really saying them, you know?
    To be honest, and please don't be offended I don't mean this to sound hateful, but I feel that it is a little inappropriate. Let me explain why though, because I really don't judge anyone who feels otherwise.
    My parents were very, very relaxed when I was growing up, and they were very relaxed about discussing sex and tht sort of thing with my sister and I. Because of this and some rather traumatic events involving my sister when I was a child I had a lot of issues with sex, I started having it early and even now that I've been through treatment and have been mrried for 3 years I still find myself feeling unloved because of it. I know that extended breastfeeding wouldn't lead to my son having any of the dame troubles or issues I do, and I know that it is not in anyway a sexual act but to me breasts are still a sexual organ and once my son becomes old enough to understand more complex ideas I no longer feel it is right breastfeed. When the time comes and I have to give him that sort speech I will be honest with him and answer any questions he has completely, but I think that kids should be allowed some time to only care about dinosaurs, and fairies and magic before they have to learn about the human body.
    I have to continually remind my MIL that it is not okay for her to shower with my son even if they are both covered in spit up. She doesn't understand why I am so 'prude' about things like that.
    Of course I am sure there are a lot of things I will allow that would make most women nuts. For example I let my big lab/shepard lick my baby from head to toe, and have even left the two of them alone together long enough to pee and change pants before. Which isn't something I would ever tell someone else to do with their dog or mine, but my dog and my son have a very special bond and I trust her with him.

    Either way I feel like we veered off topic, We were supposed to be helping a woman find a way to make her family understand why breastfeeding was important to her. I only mentioned my opinions because I was the first woman on all sides of my family to breastfeed to and I thought it might give some insights to the importance of fluidity.
    I hope no one was offended by anything I said, I know that my beliefs and experiences are exactly that, mine and not always going to line up with anyone else's but I appreciate how hard everyone on this forum tries to respect our differences.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
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    818

    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    i don't think you can really or should think ahead (to the op, and also hippehpanda). b/c you can theorize about how you'll feel/what's ok/what's appropriate...but you're going to go through so much up until that year mark, you might not be the same person at the other end.

    And I think other pps have already said this in one way or another, so really just ita with them..

    I was also the first woman to bf for this long in my family (as in past a month or so) and I said and thought things early on and I just didn't know until I got there...b/c when I did it wasn't at all like what I thought it would be. so now i'm a little more cautious about thinking ahead and vocalizing those plans!
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
    Mami de mi preciosa Elenita
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  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Default Re: Thinking ahead...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*hippehpanda View Post
    By preschool I meant 3, which is when it starts in my area for more advanced tykes, and by learning to talk I meant understanding and saying sentences.
    My son started using simple sentences at 15 months. By 18 months he was able to communicate multiple concepts using a single sentence. He can ask me "what is it?" and understand when I give him an answer. He's still not ready for preschool (he gets plowed over by the preschool kids at the park all the time) and he is definitely not ready to wean. I agree with mtmama that talking is irrelevant to nursing. I also think that preschool is irrelevant to nursing.

    I think the only thing that matters is the mother and the child's desire to continue or to stop.

    If you desire to stop at a year (or even before), that is your choice and there is nothing wrong with that. But that is due to your own comfort level, not due to the "propriety" of nursing at some arbitrarily determined milestone. I think that my only issue with what you've said is your use of the word "inappropriate":

    To be honest, and please don't be offended I don't mean this to sound hateful, but I feel that it is a little inappropriate.
    It makes you uncomfortable because of your life experiences and how you have processed those experiences. That is a perfectly legitimate basis for you to make decisions affecting your own family. However, your level of comfort and your personal experiences do not make extended nursing "inappropriate" for anyone other than yourself.

    ETA:

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*hippehpanda View Post
    I am sure a lot of more hands on and dedicated breastfeeding moms would judge a lot of my parenting choices, and honestly most of the women I know do because they didn't breastfeed past a month, generally by choice. But there doesn't seem to be any middle ground for women like me so I would rather be looked down on a little by women who have to fight for their parenting beliefs, than women who give up and let what's easiest be their only option.
    And I just want to be clear that I'm not judging or looking down at all. You absolutely need to do what is best for you and your child. I'm only saying that what is uncomfortable for you isn't necessarily inappropriate. That's all.
    Last edited by @llli*phi; June 7th, 2012 at 01:53 PM.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

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