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Thread: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

  1. #11
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    May 2012
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    48

    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    Thank you for the words of encouragement! It certainly helps knowing others have gone thru something similar and have come out "on the other side". I am very determined and will continue doing whatever it takes to nurse dd, but I really do hope that someday this will be a distant memory and she is nursing willingly once again.

    I do have an Ergo, but have not got it out of the closet yet. I'll have to dig it out and see about getting her to nurse in it while walking around, etc. This would help tremendously with being able to get out of the house, etc.

    I'll have to google some you tube videos to see how to position dd in a cradle hold in the Ergo...I've only seen how to nurse while they are sitting upright and she does not like that position (at the moment).

  2. #12
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    My son always nursed just fine in the Ergo even though he never really liked nursing upright otherwise. I'm usually walking while I nurse him in it, and I think the walking motion relaxes him to the point that he just forgets about everything else and nurses away. Also, my boy has always been super distractible, so putting the hood up helped keep him focused.

    Pull it out and give it a try. I absolutely love mine!
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  3. #13
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    May 2012
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    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    Got out the Ergo yesterday. Put her in it and went outside with my 2 older boys to watch them ride bikes...and she hated it. Don't know if she is still too little for it and was not comfy or if it was just a bad time that day. Will keep trying for sure!

    On another note....I'm feeling pretty down today. Having to "trick" dd into nursing is taking a toll. The constant worrying if I'll get her to sleep to feed, IF she will actually feed once asleep, will I be able to catch her in time when she is waking from a nap to nurse?....etc. I keep trying to offer while she is awake, but she still gets upset and pushes away. I wonder if she will ever willingly accept the breast. I know in my mind not to take it personally, but my heart still breaking. I'll keep chugging along, taking it day by day, but does anyone have any more links/stories about babes that had an extended nursing aversion and are happily nursing today? Any other words of encouragement?

    Thanks....guess I'm feeling extra needy today.
    Last edited by @llli*ryanandjoshsmom; June 7th, 2012 at 07:29 AM.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    You can try a sling if she likes to be more reclined while nursing. I used the sling most of the time when my son was little, and switched to the Ergo when he got a little bigger.

    I'm so sorry you are having a rough day. I know that feeling of rejection when your baby is pushing you away. It really is heartbreaking. It doesn't last forever though. You are an amazing mom for sticking with it, especially with other children to look after. You can do it!
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  5. #15
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    Mar 2012
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    98

    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    It took a while for my baby to get used to the Ergo, but ow she won't nurse any other way during the day! I would give her more time to get used to it. I know how rejected breast refusal makes you feel, just remember that she loves you, In fact you are her world at the moment, she is not rejecting you but is just scared of choking. She will become more confident in her ability to cope with the flow as she gets bigger and eventually will probably prefer the fast flow. I know that doesn't help what you are going through now, but it WILL get better and she will enjoy nursing and so will you! It got so bad when mine was refusing that I walked out leaving my husband, toddler and baby, and seriously considered not going back because I couldn't cope, but I did go back and I didn't give up and now at 7 months, my baby nurses, albeit with a struggle, she really wants to nurse and even to nurse for comfort. This is really difficult for her as I spray so much even when she comforts, but she has developed her own technique for dealing with it. When she wants to comfort, she takes a really shallow latch and kind of bends my nipple so as to try and stop the milk flowing, it doesn't always work but at least she is trying and I no longer feel rejected, just frustrated for her! Get by in what ever way you can until she gets a bit bigger! My 3 yr old had the same problems when she was a babe but now only remembers enjoying nursing and not the early struggles. You CAN het through it, I did and still am but know that it will be worth the heartache!

  6. #16

    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    Hi there!! I can attest that it gets better!! We have talked before! And I too had a sweet nursing relationship with my 1st which makes this situation even harder, I feel.

    We're not all the way back at all, but if nothing else I can reassure you about dreamfeeding. I also was worried like you that as baby got older and slept less it would be hard to get enough milk into her. She is 6.5 months old now and still takes three naps.

    Some might disagree, but I don't let her sleep as long as she wants during the day. Because if I do, then too much time has lapsed between feedings. That is one way I manage that. I also set my alarm at night to nurse her every 2 or 3 hours. Some disagree with that tho. I never let her get overtired or overstimulated because then she just won't go to sleep and she's mad and it's just ugly. And then of course I can't sneak as many nursings.

    It has taken me a while, but I think I have finally relaxed some about the quantity of feedings. We are just always told to cue-feed, but when you have babies like ours, you can't do that! I still just keep a close eye on diaper count and she's meeting milestones exactly on time. She's even army crawling now!! I try to hit 8-9 in a 24 hour period. That seems to be working for my baby since she's gaining well and hitting milestones and pooping and peeing plenty.

    And she will nurse to sleep many times. THis is such a huge relief!!

    I have an energetic 27 month old so I use a sound machine to drown out her playful noise and I even bought ugly black out curtains for my bedroom to try to fool baby into thinking it was nighttime. It has helped!

    I was worried as she got older it would be harder, but I think I have seen improvement since she's gotten older.

    eta: my baby didn't want to face me at all in the sling for a while. But that has improved too! She used to try to twist away even in the sling. I did figure out she liked these beads I have so I wear those almost daily now. I think my baby needs constant input. Is your LO like that? She chills out if there's something to *do* like fidget while in the sling.

  7. #17

    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*ryanandjoshsmom View Post
    On another note....I'm feeling pretty down today. Having to "trick" dd into nursing is taking a toll. The constant worrying if I'll get her to sleep to feed, IF she will actually feed once asleep, will I be able to catch her in time when she is waking from a nap to nurse?....etc. I keep trying to offer while she is awake, but she still gets upset and pushes away. I wonder if she will ever willingly accept the breast. I know in my mind not to take it personally, but my heart still breaking. I'll keep chugging along, taking it day by day, but does anyone have any more links/stories about babes that had an extended nursing aversion and are happily nursing today? Any other words of encouragement?

    Thanks....guess I'm feeling extra needy today.
    Oh mama, I have been there!! I was there again the other day mad and stomping around. I think every time I get there, I get madder and more stubborn and more focused.

    This mother sent me her story that was published in New Beginnings. http://viewer.zmags.com/publication/...8#/8de09978/17. Her story is on pages 14 and 15 in the magazine, but on the toolbar, you want pages 16 and 17. Does that make sense?? "From Tube Fed to Breast Fed" is not the one. Keep going.

    I, too, so wanted to hear from other mamas that overcame it.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    48

    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    Midwestmama! You don't know how much I've been stalking you on this forum I was going to message you today to see how things have been going! Well?? Are you still having luck getting your LO to nurse while awake?? Your LO was refusing "awake" feeds for about 4 months, right? It's been about 2 months so far for us. Your story has given me hope. Any additional tips or words of encouragement? I am desperate here! I'm going to read the article now...thanks for posting!
    Last edited by @llli*ryanandjoshsmom; June 12th, 2012 at 08:46 AM.

  9. #19

    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*ryanandjoshsmom View Post
    Midwestmama! You don't know how much I've been stalking you on this forum I was going to message you today to see how things have been going! Well?? Are you still having luck getting your LO to nurse while awake?? Your LO was refusing "awake" feeds for about 4 months, right? It's been about 2 months so far for us. Your story has given me hope. Any additional tips or words of encouragement? I am desperate here! I'm going to read the article now...thanks for posting!
    I still every day sit down in the living room in the broad daylight and offer to nurse. And actually anytime I think she's hungry or I think it's what she needs, I offer. And I've sorta developed a mantra that I say when she refuses. I have felt so mad sometimes, but if I say calmly "Oh, not right now? Okaaaaay", somehow this calms me. This was advice from another friend who had a baby that had reflux and developed a nursing aversion.

    My oversupply is better. Sometimes, I can even get her to take both sides in her sleep, so that tells me it's FINALLY regulating. HOWEVER, when she will latch alert, she wants milk RIGHT AWAY. Almost as if she's had bottles, KWIM??

    So now that I think I'm over the choking and OALD and she can cope with it, I miss the instant letdowns and she does too. :/ So I've been pumping here and there. And I'm working on getting set up to donate milk, because the extra pumping is helping my letdown to come sooner after she latches. She still pops off some, but she doesn't call it quits before my milk letsdown and then she really will nurse peacefully awake many times. Not every time. I do feel like I'm walking a fine line with her.

    She won't always latch still. Sometimes I still have to let her drift off and then scoop her up and nurse her. And on our bad days like when we have well baby appts and the doc takes FOREVER and we're out of the house too much, I just have to step it up at night.

    I have been so desperate too. Sad that I am not enjoying her first months. I have found that in between feedings, if I do my best to have fun with my toddler, go outside, sew, whatever, just try to live my life as if I don't have a striking baby, it helps.

    And with each month that passes, I tell myself, "she's 4 months old, I can do this for 8 more months" and so on. She's 6.5 months now. I can do this for 5.5 more months. I can do ANYTHING for 5.5 more months. But I truly believe I won't have to!! I really think if I don't quit her, she won't quit me.

    The mom in that story is still nursing her two year old!! There is hope for us!!

  10. #20

    Default Re: Breast aversion...only nurses while asleep

    Hello I am new here. I found this post while searching for help with feeding my 3 month old. It turns out I have the SAME EXACT problem. My baby girl started doing this almost 3 weeks ago, I also have OS/OALD and a hyper 2 year old. She has been startled by her sister a few times while feeding but I have no way of sending my 2 yr old away for some time and I am a SAHM and have to be there for the two of them. I am exhausted. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever gone through, I have been to the doctor twice and have cried countess times. My baby has never had a bottle either, in desperation I attempted to bottle feed her but she would have nothing to do with it. Somehow she has managed to gain a good amount of weight (6 oz in 5 days) so I am not so paranoid about her being starved. It is hard to go anywhere and I feel like I am getting depressed over this. I EP'ed my first born for 9 months, and this situation makes EP'ing seem like a walk in the park. To the OP, are you still struggling with this, do you have any updates?

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