Re: Quit or keep trying ?
Definitely see a LC, preferably an IBCLC. You want help with latching the babies on, and you want that hospital-grade rental pump that you passed up the first time. Producing more milk is generally a matter of increasing stimulation to the breast, in terms of both frequency and completeness of milk removal. In addition, your wife may want to see here midwife or her GP and ask for some tests to rule out conditions that can cause problems with supply- things like thyroid problems, retained placenta, and polycystic ovarian syndrome. She may also want to discuss prescription drugs that can increase supply. Reglan (available in the US) and Domperidone (EU and Canada) are prescription gastric emptying drugs which can increase serum Prolactin (the milk-producing hormone) as a side-effect. Both drugs have additional side-effects and are not right for all women, so no-one should take them without a consult with a health care professional. However, there are some non-prescription milk increasers out there: fenugreek, blessed thistle, and ordinary oatmeal are all good for supply. (The LC will be able to explain how much to use, but we can too if necessary). Your wife doesn't need to be drinking cow's milk at all- it's an old wives' tale that one must drink milk in order to make milk.
Only your wife can decide whether or not it's time to give up on the breastfeeding journey. She needs to weigh her health and sanity against her desire to breastfeed. There's no one answer that's right for every woman.
The one thing that is sure is that your wife is probably in the 99% or so of women who can make enough milk given proper conditions. It sounds like she was sabotaged in the maternity hospital and even before the babies were born- it is not true that most moms of multiples are unable to produce enough milk, at least when the multiples are twins. Moms of triplets or higher order multiples sometimes do struggle, though I personally know a mom of triplets who managed to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months.
We love it when dads find us here. A supportive husband can make all the difference for a nursing mom. I know it's probably frustrating seeing your wife struggle, and it can be really difficult to know what to do in this situation. Just listen patiently to your wife, even if she is crying on your shoulder again for the millionth time, tell her she is doing a wonderful job as a woman and a mom, and if she says "What should I do?" just turn it around and ask her what she thinks she should do.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"