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Thread: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

  1. #1
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    May 2012
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    Default ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    Well I guess I will just get down to it. I hope this isnt tmi and i will keep it as mannerly as possible.

    I'm 5 weeks post partum and I think I am finished with post partum lochia- just in the last few days none at all really. And I love having this new baby so much! But I am really not planning on getting pregnant again this soon! I have been off limits to my DH, but he heard the Dr say 6 weeks and that will be Tues. He's dropping hints and I know he is not willing to use a condom.lol sorry

    From other mamas experience, is ebf reliable enough for contraception? Also, this is weird but Im having a hard time with the idea of my breasts and my DH! I only feel them neccessary for LO!
    GEEZ

    Thanks for advice and sorry if offended

  2. #2
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    Breastfeeding certainly can be effective at surpressing fertility, but for it to be maximally effective you should be practicing ecological breastfeeding (no bottles, no pacifiers, nurse on demand, sleep with your baby, always pacify at the breast). It becomes unreliable once you have introduced solids.

    Here is more info on LAM.

    I got my cycle back at 8 weeks PP, so I'm a little wary of LAM. However, I had (unfortunately) pumped a little before that and my baby had been given a coupe of bottles of expressed milk by 8 weeks. So LAM wouldn't have been a good choice for me anyway. I think that some women are very successful with it.

    I probably would have kicked my DH in the crotch if he expected sex at 6 weeks PP, but that's me.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  3. #3
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    Your feelings are normal.

    My experience was the opposite of phi's - I also pumped at work, three days a week starting at 8 weeks and then 4 days a week starting at 6 months. My period did not come back until 11 months. But there are some mamas around here who are nursing around the clock and their period returns at 6 weeks. It's really quite variable.

    He doesn't want a condom, but does he want Irish Twins?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #4
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    I think it depends on how willing you are to chance pregnancy, and how comfortable you will be with sex without a condom. The stats say that if you are practicing what K. Sophia referred to above as ecological breastfeeding, it's 98% effective at preventing pregnancy in the first 6 months post-partum, as long as your period has not yet returned. Breastfeeding is not reliable as birth control if: baby is over 6 months old, your period has returned, you ever go more than 6 hours at night without breastfeeding, you are using pacifiers, or you are giving a bottle (I think this even includes pumped breast milk but I'm not sure--someone correct me if I'm wrong please). Personally, I wasn't comfortable using BFing as birth control because by the time we resumed sex around 3-4 weeks postpartum we were already giving occasional bottles of pumped breastmilk and were also using pacifiers. I really did NOT want another baby right away and wasn't willing to take chances so I insisted on a condom even though DH didn't like it. I couldn't have gotten in the mood otherwise, would have been too nervous. I got an IUD placed at my six-week postpartum checkup so that took care of that issue. Re: your breasts and sex, I feel the same way. Right now, they are for my baby, not for DH. DH has noticed I'm not comfortable with him playing with them and has been steering clear of that area since DS was born. I think many women feel this way when breastfeeding. Hope that helps!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    I did NOT practice ecological breastfeeding (I pumped at work), but my cycles still did not return until 15 months postpartum. Nonetheless, I wasn't taking any chances, and we used condoms to prevent pregnancy that whole time. If condoms are definitely not an option, many women go with the mini-pill or an IUD. All hormonal forms of b/c (which include some IUDs) run a risk of reducing your milk supply, but the risk is less with the mini-pill than with regular birth control pills (which reduce supply in MOST women).

    I definitely feel that this is a time where you should be able to define how you go about it and what type of protection you use. Although you may get the "all clear" at six weeks, just know it's very normal for it to take a while longer than that to be comfortable and fun again. Take it slow and easy at first. There are other ways to please your husband if you aren't up for vaginal intercourse.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    Here comes my 2 cents worth of TMI... there are other ways a loving wife can relieve her beloved husband. ways that he will surely appreciate. ways that prevent pregnancy and ways that leave your private parts unscathed.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  7. #7
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    And also so many ways a loving husband can relieve himself.

    Emily, mommy to
    Jeremija Charles - 5/30/07 - nursed 26 mo, and
    Aleksandar Hayes - 12/13/09 - nursing strong!


    "Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it." - William Durant

    If you really want to do something, you'll find a way, if you don't, you'll find an excuse.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    I think while it definitely surpresses ovulation, there is no real way to tell when you are going to start ovulating again - and you would most likely ovulate BEFORE you got your first period...so, always a chance you can get pregnant while breastfeeding.

    We EBF, and I got my period back at 8 months postpartum...using a diaphragm & spermicide, I still got pregnant again 9 months postpartum - despite all of that and nursing still about 8 times a day.
    Proud mama to Matthew Rory, born naturally 10/29/10, and mama to Callie Elisabeth, born naturally 5/15/12.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jeremijasmommy View Post
    And also so many ways a loving husband can relieve himself.
    At 6 weeks, that was my line of thinking!
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  10. #10
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    Default Re: ebf and fertilit y.. are we allowed to ask these ques?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jeremijasmommy View Post
    And also so many ways a loving husband can relieve himself.
    At 6 weeks, my response to a request for intercourse would have been "you have 2 hands, feel free to use either one". And I am that sex covers a much wider range of activities than simple penis-in-vagina, so feel free to experiment with those other activities until you feel ready for more.

    If You don't meet all the LAM criteria and your DH won't use a condom, here are some other breastfeeding-friendly birth control possibilities:
    - Insist that he use a condom
    - Female condom
    - Diaphragm and spermicide combo (effectiveness equivalent to condoms when properly used, usually cannot be felt by either partner when in place- my personal method of choice)
    - Cervical cap
    - Sponge
    - Non-hormonal IUD (ParaGard)

    If you want a hormonal method, the progestin-only mini-pill is generally the best choice since it is immediately reversible and less likely to impact supply than the combination estrogen-progestin pill/patch/ring. Mirena, the hormonal IUD, is a good choice for some moms, but it is not immediately reversible so I sm always leery of it. Stay away from the Depo shot- that sinks supply for most moms and is not reversible at all.

    Regarding breasts and sexuality- feel free to tell your DH that they are "off limits" for now while you get the whole breastfeeding thing figured out. A sexy bra can go a long way towards making you feel better about your breasts being part of the sexual experience while also providing a bit of a barrier.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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