I with the posts that are leery or EBF as birth control. AF returned at 13 weeks pp ( we didnt meet the criteria anyway) with my first and 8 weeks pp with my second!! Condoms don't work very well for us either so we're using a diaphragm currently. IMO if your DH wants it he needs to be willing to "take one for the team" even just temporarily.
As far as when to return to sex that's between you and DH. Some women are ready at 6 weeks some are not. I think the important thing is let DH know you still love him which may mean ...ahem... helping him. I have to be very careful about telling DH to take care of himself because sometimes he takes it as I don't have time for him especially with a new baby in the house. If I give him 5-10 mins of my time things are much better between us.