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Thread: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Georgia - but Canadian born and raised <3
    Posts
    2

    Unhappy 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    I didn't want my first post to be one of distress, but I'm so overwhelmed and don't know what to do.... or what is going wrong for that matter.

    Details -
    I have a bright and beautiful 3 week old(tomorrow) little boy
    Birth date: May 4
    Birth weight: 8lbs 10oz(however I think it was due to 10 hours of IV, and "copious" amounts of amniotic fluid prior to IV)
    Weight May 6 - before discharge: 7lbs 12oz
    Weight May 8 - first Dr visit: 7lbs 9oz
    Weight check May 14 - 7lbs 6oz
    .....had to start supplementing to stop weight loss. He would only take 1/2 - 1oz each time and was breastfeeding before and after each supplement, which was done with a dropper to avoid nipple confusion. We have tried supplementing at the breast, but due to his latch it never goes well.
    Weight check May 18 - 7lbs 9.5oz
    ....told I could stop supplementing and try just breastfeeding.
    Weight check May 25 - 7lbs 12.5oz yay!

    All above Dr weights are done with diapers on regardless if wet or not.

    Then my supply seemed to drop.

    Current weight on my scale(which is very accurate), no clothes or diapers: 7lbs 12oz
    Before and after "feeding" weight check shows 1oz after 1-2 hours of feeding each time I have done it.

    6-10 wets diapers a day
    1-3 pooped diapers a day

    Low supply concern and history.... my milk dried up at 4 weeks with my first baby, after breastfeeding using an SNS for the duration of the time I breastfed. Little to no milk supply with my second child, had to stop after 3 weeks due to continued weight loss and a very unhappy baby. Didn't even try with my fourth child, due to the history with my other two. This is my fourth, and final child, and I wanted to give it a go as best I can.

    Had severely sore nipples this time, started working with an IBCLC. Got ointment that is amazing stuff! Helped tremendously! Underlying issue is latch.... unintentional shallow latch due to issues with his tongue, and also has a shallow mouth. I also have larger nipples which is making it harder for him to get much of my areola in his mouth with the nipple. My nipples come out looking like a new tube of lip stick. Though, again, they don't hurt much anymore. Exterior latch is perfect. Though I am now having issues on my right side with getting him latched properly. Doesn't matter how wide he opens his mouth he will either snap his lower lip tight up so he only has my nipple in his mouth, or I'll get enough in his mouth and he will spit out everything but my nipple. He'll like lock his jaw so I can't even reach in and pull his chin down gently like the LC showed me. And though my nipples don't hurt much anymore, it can get uncomfortable. Praying for the magic 6-8 weeks..... the LC believes he will grow out of it no problem, it's just a matter of getting there. My sister had the same issues with her son, and he grew out of it at 6 weeks. I'm just worried about my supply getting to the 6 weeks.

    I have larger pillowy breasts, so cross hold, while supporting my breast, is the only real position I can use. And does work great for us.

    I feed on demand so i can get the stimulation.

    He will nurse for hours literally and seem hungry. My supply seemed to drop on Saturday and has gotten worse since then, or so it seems. He started thrashing around and pulling at the breast last night too.

    On top of low milk supply I also have slow letdown.

    Currently taking 4 Fenugreek 3x/day and 3 Blessed Thistle 3x/day. Eating loads of oatmeal, drinking lots of water, avoiding gluten(as I am gluten intolerant, and quite certain that is why i have made it so far this time with little to no formula). Also eating spinach, lentils, brown rice, etc.

    Waiting to hear back from my LC about getting Domperidone.

    Unable to get anything when pumping, or even attempting to express by hand. It's all I can do to get a little milk to put on my nipples.

    I just don't know what to do. I am so frustrated right now. And of course emotions of frustration, guilt, etc don't help.

    I just want to do what is best for him....

    Thank you so much for listening..... even if that is all that can be done, it totally helps! I know it was long, but wanted to cover all my bases!

    P.S. I have the world's most supportive husband, who is constantly trying to help and does research for me, etc.... I don't think I would have gotten this far without him!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,882

    Default Re: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    hi mama,

    congratulations on your new little one!

    you've got a lot going on in this post, but for the moment i just want to reassure you: EVERYONE is overwhelmed and frustrated at 3 weeks. almost every 3 week baby nurses for hours and hours and then wants more. all of this is entirely normal, even for a baby that's not having gaining issues and a mama who's not having supply issues. if you hang in there, it will get easier. remember that 3 weeks is a normal growth spurt too.

    how do you know your supply went down on saturday? what does your IBCLC say you should do between now and when she thinks your baby's mouth will grow to latch better? what suggestions did she give you for getting him latched better NOW? all the dom in the world isn't going to make you make more milk if you're not removing milk. what kind of a pump do you have? how/when/for how long are you pumping? is baby being supplemented now? with formula or milk, and via what method?

    and let me give a big fat to the docs for weighing your baby like that - those weights are COMPLETELY USELESS if baby had a sometimes wet sometimes not diaper on during them.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Georgia - but Canadian born and raised <3
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    2

    Default Re: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    Yes, sorry there is so much...

    His swallowing while nursing has gone down more and more since Saturday. The usual nursing pattern is latch, nursing and swallowing continuously for 2ish minutes, switch to sucking gently and goes to sleep while waiting for next letdown, nurse and swallow during the next let down, etc. Now it could be my paranoia, but his amount of time spent swallowing is considerably shorter then before.

    As for the latching, she said that because of what he does with his tongue there isn't much we can do. He can't keep his tongue held forward, so when he sucks he tongue kind of snaps back and forth.... sorry, not sure how else to describe it. He can't do the "scooping" and waving motion with it like he needs to. And for the shallow latch, she said just get as much of the areola in his mouth as I can for now.

    The pump I was using was the Lansinoh dual automatic pump(sold at Target). I finally figured out the shields it came with(25mm) were to small, bought the larger shields (30mm) and they were to big, unlike medela, there is a big gap in the sizing. I think 27mm would be perfect. I have used an Avent manual pump too, and that was to small as well, and damaged my nipples. We just can't afford to get another pump right now.

    I supplemented him on Tuesday with 1oz of formula, but haven't since. He seems OK now, though still hungry most of the time.. The Dr just has me in a tizzy over the weight. Oh, and I breastfeed, then supplement using a medicine dropper, then finish on the breast.

    And I TOTALLY agree about the weights!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    middle of IA
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    Default Re: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    can you get in to see another IBCLC? it's not really an acceptable answer to tell you "sorry you can't feed your baby at 3 weeks - it'll magically get better at 6 weeks". which is the sense i'm getting about what she told you. maybe i'm being unfair; did you feel like she gave you good help? does the tongue thing have anythign to do with tongue tie? did she evaluate that?

    an IBCLC should have a good scale, too, which would be better than what the doc is doing. or maybe you can get in just for weight checks (and do them right - naked on the same scale every time) once a week or something?

    if your baby isn't getting milk out well enough, then you HAVE to pump or you're going to lose your supply. what about renting a hospital grade pump for just one month - til he's 6 weeks and his mouth is bigger? that's WAY cheaper than formula. as is another appontment with a different IBCLC.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Shakedown St.
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    1,176

    Default Re: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*canadian.mamaof4 View Post
    Low supply concern and history.... my milk dried up at 4 weeks with my first baby, after breastfeeding using an SNS for the duration of the time I breastfed. Little to no milk supply with my second child, had to stop after 3 weeks due to continued weight loss and a very unhappy baby.
    Has your doctor checked for underlying medical conditions that could interfere with milk production (thyroid levels, PCOS, etc.)? What you've described doesn't sound normal. Milk shouldn't just spontaneously dry up if you are feeding on demand. There may be a potentially fixable underlying medical condition behind your previous difficulties with milk supply, and you may want to look into it to avoid those difficulties now if you haven't done so already.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
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    175

    Default Re: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    hey mumma!
    Can I just say as the wonderful PP said,' Everyone is frustrated at 3 weeks,' it's so true - I was completely frustrated.
    I also took Fenugreek - feeding on demand ( still am) was pumping (couldn't get anything) hand expressing (what the heck!) I tried everything thinking I had a low supply and chances are I might have, but I think baby just does all the thrasing and rooting at breast to help increase supply, I know it's frustrating, we went through this from 3 weeks to 5 weeks, deep breathes and calm tea helped me. I do think it's completely normal, however as I've said before, I"m a first time Mum and no authority on BF, I can only go by what I have experienced myself and what I've asked on here.

    I had a LL woman come out to help me and she wasn't concerned by her thrasing at all, she said it's completely normal, and it will pass... and it has, however I can honestly say it's taken us 9 weeks to get use to breast feeding together and sometimes I"m still confused but she's only little as is your little guy.

    It's wonderful though that you are sticking to it - I love how determined woman are with their babies to do what is right for them - I know that that could be seen as a ridiculous thing to say but we need to remind ourselves every now and then that we are wonderful and our babies love us for it

    Sounds like he's doing so well - and can I just say - even though you're scales are accurate they will not be as accurate as the Dr's ... so I don't know if I'd trust them 100% - I was weighing my little one as well as I was uber paranoid - I stopped as it only made me more paranoid, some days she was 2 pounds heavier than the day before so it seemed and sometimes 2 pounds less!

    You're doing amazingly and of course it definitely wouldn't be a bad thing to see if there is something underlying that might cause a low supply - but you can increase your supply almost the most majority of the time!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Anderson, SC
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    Default Re: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    awwhhhh MOMMIE!!

    You just wrote my story!!!

    I have a 5 week old little girl. I have been through the SAME EXACT THING. From no latch to shallow latch,supplementing,pumping,weightlost, feeding therapist, sore nipples and breast, pumping every hour, two hours, fenugreek, tons of water, fussy baby, sleepy mama, going to the doctor 3x's a week, the list goes on and on. I had to a feeding specialist because she wouldnt latch on properly. In doing all of this and visiting my LC my baby girl is latching and eating perfectly.

    Have you considering getting a scale to weigh him at home?

    Do you pump?
    Wife.Mother.Sister.Friend.ChildoftheKing. I am a mother to a bubbly preteen (12) and a very active newborn (4-24-12)

    Thank you ladies in advance for your support. I couldnt do it without you!!


    I and bottle fed (exclusively) until 5-28-12 when my sweet baby started back (exclusively) It has not been an easy road at all. I
    But now.... My sweet pea LOVES my BOOBIES!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    20

    Default Re: 3 weeks and sooo frustrated and overwhelmed

    You are not alone!!! I have a 5 week old and have gone through what you are...I'm I think on the tail end...I hope. We, as suggested above, got a scale....I have a love/hate relationship with it. You can get so wrapped up in the #'s that you go crazy, but the nice thing is you can find out exactly what your little one is getting from the breast to know if you need to supplement and how much. We've had to supplement and I've been pumping after every feed. Hang in there mama! They say it gets better...it has a bit for me and I know it will for you. Find out what works for you and your little one and get into your own routine. I had to let go of my preconceived ideas of how it was suppose to go down with feeding a newborn and just do what's best to keep him healthy...even if it meant supplementing for a little while. But we aren't giving up.

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