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Thread: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    112

    Default Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    Hi there friends! I dont know what's up but I just now am able to log into my user name. ? I have been keeping up with all the posts- and feel it is invaluable info! I want to encourage everyone on here! KEEP IT UP! I dont know why, but I had such a bummed day today...reading these posts really gives me hope.

    I have been 'advised' by a few people close to me, to get my baby on 'schedule' already, start using a pacifier(he is starting to such on his knuckle,finger) and get out of the house!( I have a little anxiety about going places with the babe bc I cant really predict his nursing) and I HATE even thinking about leaving him behind)

    I want to cry- I know they all mean well, but I am trying to stick to what I have read and learned- trying to just nurse on demand, and roll with it. Basically, my little one (5 weeks old) seems content and happy for the most part- thank you Lord. But I am one of those who seems to nurse SO MUCH- and no real rhyme or reason. It puts everyone around me in a tizzy and I feel like I constantly have to defend what were doing. I'm literally reading out of my book WAB to nay sayers! That book along with this forum has been my only sanity during this journey! I do feel blessed to share this with my sweet baby, sorry if I sound too complain-y. :gvibe

    Thanks for listening and all advice is welcome!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,298

    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    Sigh I am so sorry you are not getting support at home when you are working so hard to do your best for your baby. When you get down, look at your son. HE appreciates everything you are doing for him, I assure you! And soon he will be old enough to start showing that appreciation with smiles that will fill your heart.

    Sometimes I have to wonder about infant sceduling proponets. Do they deny food to thenselves when they are hungry? Do they tell thier sobbing toddlers and preschoolers that they have to wait until some arbitrary time to eat? Do they think you will be able to tell your son to not eat when he is hungry when he is a teenager? good luck. It's just illogical to me!

    But I agree about getting out of the house. I think this is really vital for mom's mental health. It does not have to be every day and it does not have to be for long, but fresh air, sunshine, and some social time are really important for YOU. Your baby will never be as easily portable as he is right now. What is keeping you from taking baby out? I can guess it has to do with concerns about NIP but I don't want to assume.

    As far as nursing 'so much'-totally normal and healthy for 5 weeks old. I never worry about the moms & babies who are nursing "so much" at this age. If you are nuring baby so often you don't even know how much he is nursing-that's great! I really worry about the moms (and babys) when mom says "baby only nurses 6 times a day" or whatever at this age.
    It puts everyone around me in a tizzy and I feel like I constantly have to defend what were doing
    Who is every one and why are they in a tizzy? It's your baby and your body. If you & baby are happy, why can't they be happy for you?

    Would this help? http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...sbreastfed.pdf

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    98

    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    Do it mama! Stick to your guns. It sounds like you are absolutely on the right track. I know it's hard to constantly have to defend yourself and your choices, but when it comes to breastfeeding, it's between you and your LO. If you don't want to offer a pacifier, don't! sucking on his fingers is perfectly fine. keep on keeping on and follow your instincts and your heart.
    I'm a dreadlock wearing lucky SAHM to Sabeen Hunter (1/08/11) and wife to my sweet husband Amin.
    Love

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    Tuck baby in a sling and go out Practice NIP in front of a mirror. You'll see that not much shows. It's way easier to nurse on the run than tote bottles around. I forgot bottles quite a lot...can't forget your breasts
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Shakedown St.
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    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    I'm sorry that those around you are not supportive. At some point you may want to put your foot down and simply say that schedules and pacifiers are not up for discussion. Period. You shouldn't have to constantly defend your decision to do what is best or your baby.

    My baby has always been a very unpredictable, very frequent nurser. It got a lot easier with time as I figured out how to nurse my baby and do whatever I wanted to do simultaneously. If you want to get out of the house, then I recommend tucking your baby into a sling or carrier and getting out. It is really easy to nurse while baby wearing. However, if you want to camp out at home with your baby, then do it and don't let anyone make you feel bad about that!

    ETA: Although I do agree with lllmeg, that just a quick, occasional step outside is important for your physical and mental health! Baby wearing was my personal lifesaver!
    Last edited by @llli*phi; May 30th, 2012 at 09:32 PM.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  6. #6
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    Nov 2011
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    chesterfield, va
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    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    babies on schedules . how, when does that ever happen, especially for a 5 week old? silly grown ups. Stick to your guns! You made it 5 weeks strong! I was not one for NIP, always retreated to the car, until I got an ergo carrier, then he got too distracted for any form of feeding during wakeful times. Please continue to be strong and do what you think is best. I gave in to making things easier for everyone else just one petty decision at a time & ended up with a month long nursing strike that just ended today. If you live anywhere close to a park, maybe try that first as far as NIP with a carrier. getting out is sooooooo good to keep up your spirits postpartum. Cabin fever doesn't help anyone.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,846

    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*5p1d3yv View Post
    babies on schedules . how, when does that ever happen, especially for a 5 week old?
    Oh, you can schedule a new baby. Just turn your heart to stone, ignore every instinct, and let your baby scream with hunger and distress until the clock says it's time to nurse. If your milk supply fails as a consequence of limiting baby's chances to nurse, you can always use formula. Sounds like a great idea when you put it that way, right?

    Scheduling is one of those things that is very easy for people to recommend and really unpleasant for parents, particularly moms, to do. It's the parents, not the "helpful" friends and family, who will be listening to their child cry. It's the parents who may discover that their schedule is preventing their child from getting enough to eat. It's the parents who will be enslaved to their baby's inflexible schedule- they won't be able to delay baby's nap times or bedtime or feeding time.

    If we called "scheduling" something else, I wonder how many people would go for it? How about "inflexible parenting" or "unresponsive mothering"? It doesn't sound so good when you call it that.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    my DH was joking about "separation parenting" the other day .
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Northern Virginia
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    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    I'm just going to throw this out there, because I notice it's not mentioned a lot and I think these struggling moms need to know -- it's not wise to put your baby on a schedule, but you can start observing your babies routines, which will become more regular as time goes on. And they might not follow a clock, but they might follow a pattern. I think it's so obvious to the veteran mamas on here that it's not always brought up, but those of us who are first-time moms or new to breastfeeding think that it's impossible to have a life and need some reassurance. Not counting the big growth spurts (when my DD ate non-stop) I started to notice..."Hmmm...she eats for a long time in the morning after she wakes up, then tends to be hungry an hour and a half later, then falls asleep while nursing..." so you can start planning your outings and things for those windows. Now, not every day will be textbook, but nothing is with a baby! But when we had to schedule our nanny interviews, we knew mornings were pretty routine, but the afternoons were crazy, so we schedule for mornings. And if she tended to nap around the same time, we'd maybe plan to be in the car then, then I'd nurse in the car, then head into a store, for example. Having had no one in my family who ever breastfed longer than 5 days, everyone criticized and I started to think my daughter was starving since she wanted to nurse so frequently. In retrospect I wish I would have just rolled with it...although the baby blues made that difficult!
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  10. #10
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    middle of IA
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    Default Re: Trying to stay strong and stick to my guns!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*filmmommy View Post
    I'm just going to throw this out there, because I notice it's not mentioned a lot and I think these struggling moms need to know -- it's not wise to put your baby on a schedule, but you can start observing your babies routines, which will become more regular as time goes on. And they might not follow a clock, but they might follow a pattern.
    yes, thanks for bringing this up - this is what LLL publications call "routines not schedules". you will definitely get routines down. the difference is they're how you describe - long nap in the morning then eating - rather than at specific times - long nap from 8 - 9:15 then nurse for 8 and a half minutes.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

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