Challenges with daycare

[@llli*adriennecconlan]

Hi all! I'm a new mom to a wonderful 15 week old scrumptious baby boy, and I'm proud to say we've been breastfeeding exclusively for that time. Our plan is to breastfeed/pump for a full year.
I've just returned to work, so we're providing our day care facility with expressed milk. My issue is that our day care keeps wanting to feed him more and more breastmilk, spacing the feedings further and further apart- and I'm feeling it may be because they just don't want to feed him as often, but I don't want to be wrong. He's currently getting 4 bottles of 5oz every three hours (he's there from 8:00am to 6:00pm). We had originally started with 5 bottles of 4 oz and changed it up at the day care staff's request. Now, after only one week, they want to feed him 6oz bottles. Every time I drop him off, they bring this up. They even said he cries for more after the 5oz, which I haven't personally experienced on the weekends. And this morning, they wanted to know when we were going to start with cereal- which my plan had been for the 6 month mark.

From research on kellymom and this site, I understand that breastfed babies generally digest breastmilk in about 2 hours, so I don't want to stuff him like a Thanksgiving turkey. I've also noticed that he seems to spit up more with the increased amount. And if babies eat about 30oz of milk at the high end of the spectrum per day, he's already at 20oz for day care alone. He eats at least another 5 oz during various nursings at night and the early morning.

I don't want to ignore their advice, but it's starting to feel like they just don't want to feed him that often. Does anyone have any thoughts?

Thanks!

[@llli*auderey]

Your daycare seems like it just doesn't want to feed that often.

Estimate 1-1.5 oz/hour away - so 10-15 oz is what you should be providing. 20 oz is way overfeeding. Even 4 oz at a time is a lot for a 15 week baby. Don't let them prssure you into larger bottles - how on earth will you keep up with the pumping?! - and don't let them pressure you into starting solids earlier than you want (take a look at the posts here on Baby Led Solids/ Baby Led Weaning - way easier in my experience).

You might give them this:
http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/f...ottle-feeding/

Unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice about how to negotiate with them, if they're already being so rude and pressurey.

[@llli*scienceteachermommy]

I would tell them that the size of feedings that they are giving him are too big and too infrequent and they are causing him to spit up more. And then, instead of giving them bigger bottles, give them 3 oz ones.

My LO never took more than 14-16 oz (usually just 12 oz) when he was receiving bottles.

This daycare seems to be unnecessarily pushy about your parenting choices.

[@llli*adriennecconlan]

Thanks so much! That's what my gut says too!

I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt being that they're with my little man all day (day care guilt)- but we dry ran our day care schedule for two weeks before we started and he never took more than 4 oz at a time. If we tried 5oz, he spit up quite a bit. I had also read that he'll generally stick with the same volume through 6 months, at which point he might decrease a little due to the introduction of solids.

As soon as we get off the waitlist at our #1 choice for daycare, which will be in 4 weeks, I'm pulling him from this place. Grrrrrr.

[@llli*auderey]

since you're leaving anyway, and sooner rather than later, it may be worth it (not just for your baby, but for future BF moms & babies) to push them a little and see what kind of progress you can make. talk to them about what normal BF babies eating patterns are, give them the kellymom handout, talk to them about the differences between formula fed and BF baby patterns, talk to them about the AAP recommendation to not begin solids before 6 months, etc. not much to lose if they get fed up with you, and you might really help out the next people down the line (if not yourself, for the meantime)! i know not everyone is up for these "teachign moments" and you don't have to be if it's not your style, just putting out an idea.

[@llli*adriennecconlan]

You're right- it's a good opportunity. It looks like they've already pressured another breastfeeding mom into the 6oz, as they reached into the fridge to show me the bottles this morning. Will do. Thanks everyone for the support! It really helps!

[@llli*auderey]

oh yeah, another strategy would be to give, say, 5 3oz bottles and then 1 "backup" 2oz bottle. still 18 oz, less than he's getting now but more than he should be getting, but it'll force them to really assess whether he's still hungry or needs some cuddling, walking, etc before they heat up that 2nd bottle.

[@llli*auderey]

good luck! let us know how it goes.

[@llli*amysmom]

Remember that you are paying them for a service. They need to give you and your baby the service YOU WANT. So tell them no, you won't be giving them more. He must get a 4oz bottle every 3 hours. Print them out a schedule and make them adhere to it.

You probably nurse him before you go, so I would say 8:30am, 11:30am, 2:30pm, 5:30pm (total 16oz). It's not about their schedule, it's about your baby's.

[@llli*mommal]

You might want to break the bottles down even further. Instead of 1 big 4 oz bottle, give them a 3 oz bottle and a 1 oz "top-up" bottle. Or two 2 oz bottles. That way they will be forced to pause the feeding while they reach for the second bottle, allowing baby a chance to breathe, to burp, to reconsider how hungry he really is...

I would definitely push on this. You're paying for a service, and part of that service is to have someone interact with your baby on a frequent basis. You don't want to get into a situation where baby is being stuffed until he passes out and then ignored for as long as possible!