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Thread: Last day

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: Last day

    Nursing when you get home from work is the easiest, mst soothing way to spend time with your child, who is going to be super demanding of your time, and kills two birds with one stone...you get to relax a bit while nursing, which comforts your LO and meets their need to be with you. Bottle feeding is going to double your work and make you tired. BTDT. Just a thought

    And at one month, nobody really thinks it is for them. It is still hard. In a few more weeks, it is easier. Pumping at work isn't that hard (I pump full time currently, as my baby cannot breastfeed). I use pumping breaks at work to do callbacks, read a book and relax, and it helps me stay connected to my LOs while away from them. Does that make sense?

    Good luck. But you do need a weaning plan. Stopping cold turkey is not a great idea.

    And is formula going to agree with your LO? It does not for so many babies!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    12

    Default Re: Last day

    Update:
    We went to the pediatrician yesterday. LO is up to 10 lbs 2 oz (was 8lbs 12 oz at birth and 8 lbs 2 oz at his first appointment 3 days later). The doctor gave us formula samples to try and recommended making the switch slowly, transitioning 1 feeding at a time. She did warn us that he probably wouldn't take the formula with me around if he took it at all.

    Well, we got home a tried a formula bottle. We decided to have me try giving it to him. If that didn't work I would leave and DH would try. Well, he took it with no problem. The next feeding I BFd and again, no problem.

    But like I said in my earlier post, I'm having guilt over this, not because I see formula as bad but due to the fact that BFing has come natural to me and we have no issues and I see a lot of people who want to BF but have issues being able to do it.

    So, for now we are going to continue to BF but knowing that he will take formula gives me the feeling of freedom I needed. I don't know how long this will last (my initial goal was to BF for the first 6 months to a year) but for now we'll consider each day a win.

    On a side note the pediatrician also said it is completely possible to get him on a schedule while BFing. This was a big help as well (we need him to be on somewhat of a schedule before I go back to work). I have also found that nursing on demand didn't work for us. LO was showing hunger signs all the time, no matter what was wrong. When I was nursing on demand he wasn't sleeping...at all. He was getting about 8 hours total a day because every time he was upset he showed hunger signs so I fed him. Last week I tried making a 90 minute rule. If it hadn't been at least 90 minutes since his last feeding I tried other methods to soothe him first (yes, including the pacifier). This works, he naps throughout the day and gets about 14 hours of sleep each day. I feel like a lot of the professional advice I received from the LC and from the LLL website was overwhelming and didn't work for us. I understand LLL was founded on certain principles, but it seems to preach an all or nothing approach which almost scared me away.

  3. #13
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Last day

    Mama, I think you missed something about LLL. We definitely do not have a one size fits all solution here. Instead, we suggest listening to your baby and taking what works for you and leaving the rest.

    If a schedule works for your family -- meaning baby is gaining appropriately, is not crying from hunger or for comfort, has the appropriate numbers of wet diapers -- then fine.

    But I do worry about limiting nursing, even if baby is growing well, but because in the first few months, your body is making prolactin receptors that will serve you to ensure an adequate milk supply for the length of your breastfeeding time. The time to maximize those is now. And limiting how many you make does make it harder to pump enough if you go back to work FT. Does that make sense?

    Good luck.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,882

    Default Re: Last day

    mama, i'm really glad you got the mental "exit hatch" you needed.

    i hear what you're saying about LLL. it's tough, because as susan says, LLL's only goal is breastfeeding support. but a lot of that support is providing information about how the biological process of nursing works, and it's true that demand feeding in the early months is what sets up your supply for the long term. of course you don't have to do demand feeding, but it's much more likely that you'll then run into supply problems down the line. i hate that our culture is so breastfeeding averse and ignorant that just laying this information out there becomes (as you say, truly) overwhelming.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Northern Virginia
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    Default Re: Last day

    I agree with what you say, OP, in that it's overwhelming, but I also agree with the other posters who say to do what works best for you. I was given a lot of advice that just didn't feel right for me, or didn't work for my family and me. I beat myself up over giving bottles and formula for a while, even though I knew in my heart it was not the end of the world. Everything worked out fine and calmed down enough for breastfeeding to be easy and comfortable now. I had supply issues in the beginning, due to a bad start at the hospital, and a lactation consultant from the hospital (who was very sweet) told me to breastfeed on demand, pump in between when I could, even if it meant doing it at night, but also to make sure I got plenty of rest and ate nutritious food. Huh?!! Not sure when I was going to rest or cook while pumping and feeding constantly. Use your instincts and do what you think is best. There were nights I probably "should" have pumped, but opted for sleeping. I was also encouraged to feed my baby during the night when she started sleeping 12-hour stretches at 8 weeks, but I knew that was not going to work for us, and she grew perfectly and was well-rested. Hey, I am a health food advocate, but ate some Taco Bell not long ago! Don't drive yourself crazy with anything. If it comes naturally to you, then you must have good instincts for it.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    12

    Default Re: Last day

    Thank you film mommy. Those were the supportive words I needed to hear.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,464

    Default Re: Last day

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sms24 View Post
    . I understand LLL was founded on certain principles, but it seems to preach an all or nothing approach which almost scared me away.
    Where? Where did it seem to preach it?

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #18
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Shakedown St.
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    1,176

    Default Re: Last day

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sms24 View Post
    I don't know how long this will last (my initial goal was to BF for the first 6 months to a year) but for now we'll consider each day a win.
    I think this is a really good way to look at it. For the first couple months I had to forget about goals and just try to make it to the next feeding. I'm glad that you are feeling a little bit of relief now. I do think, as has been stated, that everyone here wants to help you find a solution that works for you. Good luck!
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    576

    Default Re: Last day

    If you get to relax with breastfeeding, sms24, you may end up back here helping others to "stick with it." These forums are great, because you can get so much help for even odd things, but you can start to feel like you have to do EVERYTHING everyone else is doing. But they are all different people with different lives who are telling you what they know and what worked for them (and what they wish someone had told them). I understand the need to encourage you, because breastfeeding gets better, even though you can't imagine it will. I thought I'd be suffering through to 6 months, but can't fathom going to the store to buy formula, and I now plan to go beyond a year. If you stick with it on your terms, I bet by month 3, you'll be thinking it's a breeze. But if you're going to try to stick with it, do try to keep your supply up, because as you'll read from other posters, a drop in supply just adds stress, especially as you're starting work.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,178

    Default Re: Last day

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post
    If a schedule works for your family -- meaning baby is gaining appropriately, is not crying from hunger or for comfort, has the appropriate numbers of wet diapers -- then fine.

    But I do worry about limiting nursing, even if baby is growing well
    I know it can seem kind of absolutist or pushy or overwhelming for us to say that schedules are generally the enemy of breastfeeding success. But that message is not some sort of parenting philosophy- it's just a statement about the physiology of milk production. Supply = demand. Restrict demand and you can end up with lowered supply. It's not uncommon for moms who schedule to say things like "My milk just dried up, and I don't know why".

    We're not telling you not to solve your parenting issues in a way that works for you. If you want to schedule and combination feed, and that gives you the strength to continue on nursing for a bit longer, that's fine! And if you want to wean, that's okay, too. We just don't want you to one day say "No-one ever told me that a schedule could cause my milk supply to diminish". We're really not trying to push- we just want all mamas to make informed choices.

    ETA: it sounds like things are going much better for you already, and that's really good to hear. Not enjoying breastfeeding has to be one of the hardest challenges a mom can face, and you're facing it and not giving in. You should be really proud of that!
    Last edited by @llli*mommal; May 25th, 2012 at 12:15 PM.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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