weaning by end of September?

[@llli*firsttime]

I have to go on a work related week long conference and will be away from my son for that long. I can't take him since it is work related. He will be about 20 months by then and I was thinking that this would be a good time to have him weaned by (or wean during that week). I know other may have the opinion that I should continue until he is older, but I feel that 20 months would be long enough, especially considering I was planning on weaning by 12 months. The question I have is, should I slowly wean him before that time, or should that be the time he weans "cold turkey." It seems more humane to do it slower, but I am not sure what to cut out or how to even begin, so it seems a bit easier (for me, but probably not him or my DH) to do the cold turkey thing. Since I think the slow transition would be better, how do I go about this process?

[@llli*auderey]

others will chime in here, but just for you- you don't want to quit cold turkey or you risk engorgment and discomfort or even mastitis. and i'm sure you don't want to be pumping on that work trip if you don't have to! so if you do decide to wean ahead, keep that in mind. i'm sure it's less of an issue at 20 months than under a year, bute especically if you're prone to anything like that, be careful.

[@llli*mommal]

Choose the slow route. You don't want to be away at the conference and all of a sudden get horribly engorged with no way to relieve the problem.

Start by cutting out your least favorite feeding, wait several days for supply to adjust downwards, then cut out another feeding, wait several days, etc. The pre-bedtime or pre-nap time feedings are often the last to go. And if at some point in the process you decide that you want to keep those sessions, you can do so and continue to nurse just once or twice a day. I'm not trying to ouch you not to wean- it's just that those transition-to-sleep feedings can be a really useful tool in your mommy arsenal.

[@llli*phi]

I would definitely take it slow for both you son's health as well as your own. In addition to the physical issues above, it is my understanding that there is a homone driven emotional response to weaning that can be more intense when weaning is sudden.

I haven't tried to wean so take this for what it's worth, but I've found that my 18 month old nurses much less during the day while we out. Based on that, if I were in your shoes I would try to get out and stay out of the house as much as possible over the summer. Have lots of activities to distract your son and keep his mind off nursing. You can also start offering a snack or cup of water in lieu of nursing. Start slow, then offer a snack more frequently as the summer progresses. Again, I haven't done these in order to wean, but they are things that have resulted in less nursing on days that we've been really busy.

[@llli*firsttime]

I do think the slow approach would be better. My dilemma is this- my son can seem to get by without nursing for naps and even to go to sleep at night. The ones he seems to REALLY want are right after I get home (he even says nurse first thing - although he didn't ask to nurse tonight, so maybe that isn't a need either) and at 5 am when he wakes up, then he will go to sleep until 6:30 or 7, but if I don't nurse him at 5, he won't go back to sleep. So I guess the morning one is the one I am MOST concerned about.

[@llli*mommal]

Oh, my first daughter was like that with the 5:00 feeding, when she was an older toddler. It was very difficult to get her back to sleep without it. In the end, I set up a bed next to her crib and came in and lay down next to her when she cried to be nursed. I would tell her "sleep time, shhh, we'll nurse when the sun comes up" and eventually she would go back to sleep, because I was there next to her. Getting a kid to give up that last nighttime feeding is a matter of patience and persistence- just like everything else with parenting!

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

I would do it slowly too. I know several moms that cut down to one nursing session a day and then went on a trip and didn't nurse when they came back. It seemed to work for them.

[@llli*firsttime]

I don't know if he will be able to be weaned right now. He seemms so intent on nursing and nothing i do seems to take his mind off his desire to nurse. It got to the point where he was screaming with tears running down his face saying "nurse" and trying to yank up or down my shirt. He has already nursed 3 times sine waking at 7, which is more than usual. I don't really have set times I feed him, just by demand so I don't know how to cut down one at a time. And how can I think of weaning when he so obviously needs/enjoys it? Makes me feel like a mean mommy

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

Are you open to nursing longer term? When you say like you feel like you've done it long enough because you reached your goal of 12 months, is that you talking, or the people around you? Just a question - not a judgment.

My daughter was really attached to nursing and I weaned her when I was pregnant at about 24 months. I made sure to have lots of activities and would say - "yes, we can nurse right after we go to the playground." or "yes, we can nurse right after we have a snack."

[@llli*mommal]

You're not a mean mommy! You're just human. Even the most giving mommy sometimes wants to scream "Get the #%*¥ off me, kid!" (And I have in fact yelled that at my toddler.)

Sometimes kids respond to mommy pulling away a bit by intensifying their demand. It may help to just roll with the increased demand for now, let your LO regain his confidence that mommy is there for him, and then start cutting back when this phase of clinginess has passed. Do you have family that can come and help you out? When I wanted to cut out my dauhter's first morning nursing session, I went to stay with my parents. I would send DD downstairs to play with grandma, and my daughter would forget all about nursing because playing with granny was way more fun.