Re: nursing at night
I think you asked great questions, but there's no way to answer them with certainty. Would your LO sleep better if she were in another room? Maybe. Is she ready to sleep by herself? Maybe.
I bet that having your husband and older child in the family bed makes it harder for you to turn down night-nursing. You're probably trying to preserve their sleep, so anytime your daughter kicks up a fuss you stop it with the breast. If I'm right about that, it might help to break up the family bed for a while. Maybe dad and 3 year-old sleep somewhere else for a few weeks, or maybe you and your daughter go elsewhere. That way you won't have to play peacekeeper all night long. The night-weaning process can be a noisy one- dedicated night-nursers don't give up without a fuss! But just because a toddler is whining or crying for the breast, that doesn't mean you have to give in. I think breastfeeding moms sometimes get into the mindset that if baby cries, they must respond. And I that is true for babies, who need to nurse. But it starts to be more optional for toddlers, because they don't need the same way a baby does. They want. And you as the parent get to channel those wants, and teach the toddler that her wants have to start fitting in with the family dynamic in a way that makes everyone happy.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"