Re: bottle suggestions help!
I know this is hard. My first daughter HATED bottles. I don't know what it was, it was unclear if she was mad about the milk coming out or just couldn't figure out what to do. She cried and cried when I left her at the beginning. It was so stressful, so I understand where you are right now. I was able to transition her from a few hours a day up to the 10.5 hours a day that she was there over a month time, but it doesn't sound like you have that option.
My daycare provider did cup feed her for one day, which was also stressful and not fun for anyone involved. Since it didn't seem like there was a bottle that she would like, we just decided to go with what was easiest for us and that was medela bottles with playtex and/or dr. browns nipples on them. I put the fast flow nipples on them so that milk would pour into her mouth. I was not concerned with her getting a bottle preference - she very clearly had a breast preference. My DCP would offer her the bottle, if she started crying then the DCP would stop trying to offer it. She would then offer it to her again 30 minutes later or so. Eventually - after about three weeks or so - Lilah started eating enough that I was marginally ok with the amount. I left 12 ounces for her every day, she usually drank between 5 and 8.
I also coslept with her so that she could nurse frequently overnight and nursed her as often as she wanted all weekend long and in the evenings and mornings. Her weight gain was along her percentiles, so we just accepted it.
I don't know how to say this without it sounding bad, but I think a large part of them crying is being left by their mother. They want to be with us and they don't/can't understand why we are leaving them behind. I have done it twice - at 4 months with Lilah and 2 months with Beatrix and it is really difficult. But the babies adjust and the moms adjust and it will all work out.
Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months