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Thread: Still asking

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    out of my right mind
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    Default Still asking

    I weaned Grace on her 5th birthday over 6 months ago. It's not constant, but she still asks to nurse from time to time, and gets really sad that she can't. One day she was really sick and asking, so I let her try, and she got all upset saying there was no milk. I figured that would be the end of it, but she hasn't quit asking. So one day I let her try to remind her my milk was gone, and she said she got some. I don't know what to think. Each time she asks, it makes me feel horrible for weaning her, especially because she's so persistent and it makes her so sad. I regret weaning her before she was finished, then other times I remember that I really didn't want to be nursing a 5 year old. I really needed her to be done, but I feel guilty that she wasn't ready for it on her end. I know I need to not cave when she gets really upset about it, but the guilt just gets to me sometimes.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,638

    Default Re: Still asking

    Mama: The guilt is going to get you no matter what. Just the nature of being a mom, right? You're going to move past this and so is your LO. She's lucky you nursed her to age 5- it takes a generous mama to do that! Just keep communicating with her and helping her to see that you were done, and that she is a big girl and it's special that she can do without the breast.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3

    Default Re: Still asking

    Four and 2 years post weaning my kids still ask on occasion. Of course they are constantly reminded of breastfeeding due to my volunteer work! I can't exactly say "Nurse? what's that?" after they just heard me on the phone yacking with a breastfeeding mom.

    My point is it is normal, imo, for kids to ask post weaning. It may not mean she was not ready at all. It means her memories of nursing are fond, and that's good right? You could tell your daughter she cannot because yes, the milk is gone, or she is five now, or whatever sounds like a good reason. Or you could avoid reasons and instead validate her feelings by saying that you remember nursing fondly too, and now you are so happy you can cuddle, read a book together, fix a fun snack, go for a walk, etc. -whatever else gets you guys doing something special together that you both enjoy. For me this often turns into moments that I tell the boys stories about them-the day they were born story or babyhood stories etc.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    The Yellow House
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    Default Re: Still asking

    It's been 7 months since DD weaned (and it was totally mutual) and she still asks from time to time. She went a couple months before she started asking, though, and by then she had completely forgotten how to latch, so there was no way I was going to let her try. I always feel so sad for her . I'm lost as a parent without the ability to nurse. She recently asked if she can nurse again if we have another baby, and I told her I'd be happy to pump her a cup . She assured me she still knows how to latch by pursing her lips together into a sort of fish face !

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Atlanta, GA
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    55

    Default Re: Still asking

    I felt yesterday that I was ready to wean DS1. He has been getting on my nerves lately (being almost 3, not sleeping well, lots of tantrums) and I felt like him nursing was just one more way he was pushing my buttons. I started telling him that I only make baby milk (ds2 is 6mo) and not big boy milk. He accepted it ok, but this morning was really sad that he couldn't have any. He cried and kept saying "just a wittle (little) bit of milk, mama." I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm not done, I just feel like someone is always on my boob and I'm overwhelmed at everything right now. My dh travels for work frequently and I work part-time so I have no time to myself. Arrrgh. Tell me it gets better.
    JKM 7/28/09 10 lbs, 22.5 inches still nursing at least twice a day (more if I would let him!)

    FDM 11/16/11 8 lbs 15 oz, 20.25 inches EBF

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    The Yellow House
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    697

    Default Re: Still asking

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jkmmama View Post
    I felt yesterday that I was ready to wean DS1. He has been getting on my nerves lately (being almost 3, not sleeping well, lots of tantrums) and I felt like him nursing was just one more way he was pushing my buttons. I started telling him that I only make baby milk (ds2 is 6mo) and not big boy milk. He accepted it ok, but this morning was really sad that he couldn't have any. He cried and kept saying "just a wittle (little) bit of milk, mama." I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm not done, I just feel like someone is always on my boob and I'm overwhelmed at everything right now. My dh travels for work frequently and I work part-time so I have no time to myself. Arrrgh. Tell me it gets better.
    My guess is that if you're already dealing with lots of tantrums (and typical three year old behavior), weaning will only make matters more difficult. Nursing is one of the few times that kids of that age stop to regroup. My DD is 4.5 and has been weaned for just over 6 months. I often wished we still nursed because she really needs that time to regroup and pull herself back together. Now she often doesn't know how to control herself. I know you are feeling touched out, but it may be worthwhile to continue nursing for a while long .

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