Nanny overfeeding the baby, not sure how to talk about it

[@llli*luckypixie]

I've been back to work for about a month now and I'm very happy with our nanny, but I have a feeling that she is overfeeding the baby. One day a week DH watches our daughter and she consistently takes 2-3 ounces of expressed milk less than when she is with the nanny.

Meanwhile I'm killing myself trying to pump enough (pumping 4 times at work, plus an additional time at home, plus pumping on the weekend), taking galactagogues, etc.

I had previously told the nanny about paced bottle feeding (and printed out the LLL handout - it's hanging on our fridge now). DD is pretty good at holding the bottle herself and pacing herself, yet the other day DH caught the sight of the nanny holding up the bottle pointing downward for the baby.

Obviously, I need to talk to the nanny, but I'm not sure how else to explain myself. It doesn't help that the first 2 weeks I went back to work, DD went on a bottle strike, so understandably, the nanny would rather over- than under-feed.

Any suggestions?

[@llli*mtmama]

just be very matter of fact about it but nice. does she have a baby carrier? i would encourage her to use one, i wished my dc would use them when my son was little. he needed it.

also you could just offer other examples of how to soothe her other than the bottle.

[@llli*mamaDuMonte]

I like what PP says. I would also have a few more print outs ready so that she can see that she is over feeding. There is a link on Kellymom that talks about 1-1.5 oz for every hour away.

Sounds like pumping enough is tough for you. How much is she easing while you are away? How old is she? How does she nurse when you come back?

Also think about making smaller bottles and more of them, that might help if the nanny is thinking that she needs to eat another feeding.

[@llli*auderey]

since you like your nanny, i would probably address it by trying to appeal to her desire to help you out. you know? like, "it's so tough to pump enough, i love doing it, but those extra 2-3 oz she takes wehn she's with you compared to DH are really killing me. i'm doing everything i can, maybe there's something else you can do to stretch out the milk a little bit?"

ETA: change that last sentence to "Maybe there are some strategies we can work on together to stretch the milk out a little bit?"

those would include leaving smaller bottles, having her hold baby off in the last hour before you're home, that sort of thing. i agree with PP about smaller more frequent bottles.

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

How much is she feeding your baby overall during the day? How long are you away?

[@llli*phi]

How much is she feeding your baby overall during the day? How long are you away?

Those are good questions. Can you just leave what your DH would typically feed her? Then say that is all that you are able to pump, but it should be sufficient as the guidelines for feeding breastfed babies expressed milk are 1-1.5 ounces per hour you are gone. You can also suggest x, y,and z in case she is cranky after her milk.

I personally wouldn't over-explain. It starts sounding like you need to defend yourself, which you do not. I don't see why simply stating "this is all I can provide" would be offensive to her. If she knows what she is doing, then she should understand that.

[@llli*luckypixie]

Thank you all for advice.

i think I'm going to stay away from talking about how hard it is for me to pump more, because the nanny had already brought up the subject of formula supplementation before and I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she would do now.

We are going to focus on the fact that DD ends up having a lot more milk when she is with the nanny compared to how much she has with DH.


I'll let you know how it goes.