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Thread: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

  1. #11
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    Why do you think that not feeding him is going to help you enjoy him?

    Way too lazy for formula

  2. #12
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    Mama, IMO one of the best-kept secrets about newborns is that they are no fun to feed. All they do is cry, nurse, and cry again. But the time you're investing now gets you a big payback as the baby grows. Older babies start to look up at you and smile, they reach out and touch you, they even play little silly games as they nurse (like blowing raspberries on you). Basically, as baby develops a little more personality, nursing gets a lot more fun! And so do all other aspects of baby care.

    Having a newborn is overwhelming on so many levels. Sometimes it's not so much that breastfeeding is challenging, it's that you never. get. a. break. from any of the myriad things the baby needs. I remember the first time my husband and I got out of the house with our first baby- just sitting in the café at the bookstore felt like this huge liberation from the drudgery of being housebound with the baby. Is there any way you can get out of the house and have some fun?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #13
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    May 2012
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    No, leaving to get a break isn't an option and that's the biggest issue. Since I'm his food supply I can't leave him at all to get a break. If I switch to formula I feel like I can get that break. We live in a new city far away from home with no friends and family so it's just me and little one all day. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I try to get out of the house once a day and take him for a walk or even put him in the car seat and drive through Starbucks then back to home, but that's it.

  4. #14
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    Do you have a sling? With enough practice, you can nurse your baby in a sling and it justs looks like the baby is sleeping. I nursed my son in a sling at 3 weeks while proctoring a final exam. None of the students knew he was nursing. It is maddening to be stuck indoors all day, and I would have gone nuts without my sling.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  5. #15
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    That "walls closing in" feeling is familiar to me from my first baby! Is it any consolation to hear that it's the same for all new moms? You're glued to the couch with a baby glued to you. Getting showered and dressed feels like a major achievement. All the baby does is nurse, sleep, poop, and cry... But it really does get better, and there's a reason why things are this way. If you invest the time now, you get back more freedom and more flexibility in the future. For example, here's what a breastfeeding mom needs in her diaper bag: diapers and wipes. No bottles, no formula, no clean water. She never has to cut an outing short because she ran out of formula or the baby dropped her bottle on the filthy floor!

    If you have the strength toake it to 6 weeks, I think things will improve a lot. We'll be here to help you every step of the way- we've all BTDT and if you need a place to vent about being besieged, this is a good place to do it. Do you have a local IRL LLL meeting available to you? It could be a way to meet new people, get support, and have some fun out of the house- all in a venue that welcomes your baby.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    I lived in a new place with my firstborn, and far from friends and family. But I felt like I was going crazy. I made it a plan to get out twice a day outside. Outside didn't seem so overwhelming- I could get some privacy since there weren't people everywhere, and it got me out into the fresh air and sun. Seriously it makes a big difference to get outside a lot. And thankfully its easier this time of year than in the winter (at least where I live).

    Slings or baby carriers are a great blessing especially during the newborn stage and for nursing in public like the previous poster said.
    Mommy to 3 beautiful girls!

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    I would wait until next week to begin this but AFTER the 4 week point could you pump once in the AM every day and use that milk to both go out so as not to have to NIP if you aren't yet comfortable AND at the end of the day so that your partner can take him?
    I did that from 5 weeks on. I pumped every morning before he woke up and my DH took the baby every night after dinner for 2 hours. And I did whatever I wanted. I went to Target, Or a took a shower or napped or watched a show. But it was my 2hours of freedom a day. We did that until I went back to work at 14months. At that point I didn't want to do it anymore but my DH continued to do his nighttime get ready for bed routine with him.
    I think that switching to formula just to get a break is a hasty idea. It's possible to pump so that the baby is still getting your milk, your supply isn't damaged and you STILL get time away everyday. Which I agree is totally important.

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #18
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    I think DJ's mom is onto something in your situation. I would hesitate to introduce a bottle in many cases because of the nipple confusion issues (or it could be no issue) but in your case, if you're wanting to use formula anyways (which would be a bottle then obviously) then maybe this would be worth a try so that you can still give him your milk (healthier and lower cost) but get some time away without worrying about the baby or be able to feed the baby in public without worry since that is important to you.
    Mommy to 3 beautiful girls!

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    Pumping a bottle milk starting next week in order to feel more comfortable getting a little extra time out of the house is a really good idea. I really do think that everyone needs a little fresh air every day.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    139

    Default Re: Help, almost 3 weeks and ready to give up

    I agree with all the pp. I too didn't feel all that bonding hooha everybody talked about until after 8 wks. The whole thing about the baby being the only one bonded is total genius. Also, newborns being boring and demanding is the best kept baby secret but it does change promise You are so very lucky that all the mechanics of BFing are going so well. Please stick with it. I truly think you will be so glad you did. There were times that even thinking about the next feeding was too much. I would just say ok until he gets done this time and then kept thinking that over and over until suddenly I didn't think that. I only took my DS out to the doctor for the first month and then not by myself until 9 or 10 weeks. Nursing in public takes time to get use to no matter what comfort level you have. I still sit in the car a lot just because it is physically more comfortable.

    Being in a new city is hard and I can see how it compounds those feelings of being alone. See if you can find a local LLL meeting to go to or a mommy group that has other BFing moms in it. BFing has always and continues to take a lot of effort for me. There is always obstacles to face because we unfortunately don't live in a country that supports it the way it should. BUT I really believe I'd be much more stressed with formula. I actually look forward to the breaks for nursing now.

    And I know your not suppose to do this but I too pumped once a day *in addition to nursing on demand* and that did give me the ability to go pick up a few groceries or walk by myself once DH got home. That does risk nipple confusion though so...

    It is you choice though but since your here asking for help I hope that means you don't really want to quit.

    You can do this it is only for a short time and it will be gone before you know it.
    Married to the best husband ever since Nov 2009
    DS born 1/7/12 at 36 wks after PROM and Gestational diabetes happy and healthy ~

    Taking it one day at a time.

    Currently and !!!

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