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Thread: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    DD will be one in another week and I'm nowhere near ready to wean. So thankful for LLL so I don't feel all alone in this, but still feel like I'm one of so few.

    MIL has been making comments for the past few months about me stopping at a year. I try to ignore her but it really bothers me. DH is supportive of me bFing and pumping which helps.

    I was at the store this weekend and bought another nursing bra, which to me felt like such a huge achievement that confirmed my commitment to BFing.

    I am getting ready to pump wean. Down to 1 , sometimes 2 sessions but I am considering going to 1 session each day this week. I have a few days worth of freezer stash. We started adding in 1 bottle of cows milk a day and she seems fine with it.

    I'm wondering though if I can give her soy milk instead of cows milk at this age?

    I plan to continue to BF whenever I'm home with her. Aiming to get to 18 mos.

    Mommas, I need your support! I feel the deck (aka society) is stacked against us nursing moms. I'm hoping to get to another LLL meeting soon so I don't feel so alone in doing something that I enjoy so much, as does baby, and which is such a natural thing.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,637

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    Congratulations on being about to turn the corner on the first year! That's a wonderful accomplishment and you should be really proud of yourself, and you should not let comments from your MIL get you down. Maybe have your DH give her a firm but gentle talking-to? She may just be making an incorrect assumption that needs to be addressed, or maybe she is not-so-subtly trying to discourage you from continuing to nurse. Either way, she can probably accept a non-negotiable "back off, none of your business" coming from her son, rather than her DIL.

    Is there any reason why you want to give soy milk rather than cow's milk? My understanding is that soy doesn't have the right fats in it, and that it is not an appropriate substitute for dairy. As long as you nurse 3-5 times a day, you don't need to offer any other milk at all. Which is another great reason to continue to nurse!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    Congratulations on being so close to one year!! Good for you!

    If you're nursing four times a day or more, you don't need to provide any other liquids besides water. Personally, I chose to give Joe cow's milk while I was gone, just to get him used to it. I am not an expert in different kinds of vegetable/animal milks - other ladies on here know more about that.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    You are doing an awesome thing for your child’s health and happiness and your own health. Human breastmilk is specially designed just for human children, as cow milk, soy milk, or any other milk is not. If you want to keep nursing, and your child wants to keep nursing, no reason at all to stop-and every reason to continue. It's really pretty simple.

    When faced with criticism, how to best handle it depends on your personality, the other persons personality, and what your relationship is. But I believe the more certain you are that you are right in the choice you are making for your family, the less likely you will feel distressed by what is almost certainly well meaning but ill-informed 'advice.' Look at it this way-say your mil offered to baby sit and told you she planned to show your child an X rated movie, keep him up all night eating candy, and then spend the morning playing in rush hour traffic.

    Would you hesitate for one second to say thanks but no thanks, even if it hurt her feelings or made her angry? Of course not. Because you would know you were right, you were doing the best thing for you child.

    There is plenty of evidence breastfeeding is very healthy even beyond age one, and absolutely NO evidence it is harmful, ever. The WHO and UNICEF both suggest mothers nurse until at least age 2. Not a single reputable child health organization I am aware of suggests children should stop nursing at any particular age. Want an extreme example? Adults with cancer and other diseases try to get breastmilk from milk banks to drink. Get my drift?

    Keep going to LLL meetings, maybe talk to your Leader about organizing a play group for moms of nursing toddlers. It is so helpful to have that support!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Northern CA
    Posts
    549

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    When I meet critics of extended breastfeeding, I usually tell them that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding until at least one year and that I am simply trying to give my baby more than the minimum recommended by his/her doctor.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    you can do it mama!!! it's great for you and your baby and it is so liberating to free yourself from the pump! you can do it more on your terms. your baby also becomes so much more interactive during bf as they get older. you know, laughing at you, smilling at you, trying to talk or sing songs while latched. its great fun and good for you both. no one even needs to know you are doing it if you would prefer it that way. or you can let people know and educate them on the benefits of extended bf!

    good luck, the best is yet to come!
    mom to ds daniel 12/16/09 and ben 2/27/11

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Shakedown St.
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    1,176

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    From what I've seen (from non-breast feeding sources) it makes a lot of sense to me why recommendations should be 2 years as a minimum for breastfeeding. Cow's milk really isn't all that good an alternative before two years and can cause some pretty disturbing intestinal irritation.

    Regardless of any of that, however, no one gets to tell you how to parent your child. If you and your daughter want to continue your nursing relationship, then continuing is the healthiest thing that you can do! My son is now 18 months and nursing has been an amazing mothering tool for me. I love it, and so does my son.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Cleveland, OH
    Posts
    485

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    I would ask why your MIL is talking about weaning at a year. Is it because she is just assuming that you will? Or is it because she thinks you should? There is a big difference between those two attitudes. If she is just assuming, then simply saying that DS is still really into BFing, so you are going to hang on for a while longer might be all it takes. If she has other underlying issues with extended BFing then I would get DH to talk to her about it.

    Act like it is no big deal, so if it becomes a big deal someone it is someone elses fault. (That is how I usually approach these kinds of thing, anyway; I am very anti-drama).
    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    Thanks so much mamas!

    As for MIL, she came from the generation when NOBODY BF, so I think part of it is doubt in her part that baby is getting the right amount of nutrition. The other part is that she thinks it is embarrassing for me to BF in public. As an example, we were at church about 2 mos ago and I was nursing under a sling, with dh in between us. She made some comment to him, acting embarrassed that people would see me. Nobody does, IMO, but it really makes me nervous to nurse whenever she is around.

    This is not new nor a recent reaction on her part. She was the same way when I was nursing DD in church when she was 2 mos old, and she was the same way when I nursed my son 7 years ago.

    In the beginning I tried to explain to her the nutritional benefits, but it goes on deaf ears. She is from the same generation that thinks it's ok to offer cereal in the first month.

    And yes, she thinks baby being a cosleeper is because I'm coddling her too much. Most of the time I just laugh at her comments or change the subject.

    Are there any books out there to educate moms and grandmas about the benefits of breastfeeding? It seems we as a group are fighting an uphill battle, trying to re-educate a generation that was taught that it was wrong or improper to breastfeed.

    I've seriously considered starting to write a book on this topic. But maybe there is already one?

  10. #10

    Default Re: Getting ready to cross the one-year mark; need support!

    good for you for making it to the one year mark!! i was able to BF my first son till 2yrs, 9months. i'd had a misscarriage two years ago, and it was within a month of that, that he stopped for good (for a while he was down to just a ttoken nursing before and after naps, and at bedtime/wake up time)......ignore anyone that has differing opinions, as you have to do what is right for you and your baby, good job mama!

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