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Thread: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2,538

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    and be sure to stay topless so he can see, and smell the breasts/milk a warm bath together may help as well, it always encouraged a letdown for me and calmed the babe as well
    Autumn
    Moma to *Silas* 10-30-07

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    The bottle gives milk fast. Let down happens more slowly and could be slower with the shield, this may be a reason he cries. To help, you can drip pumped breast milk or formula onto the shield as he works to get let down. You can also use an sns with the shield. I have. It also allows for quicker flow and he may accept the breast better this way.

    Also try naked in a bath. The naked and wet may help stimulate the rooting instinct and help him latch with or without the shield.

    I don't know what help you've received from the LAC's you've seen, but if you are in the Portland OR/Vancouver WA area I can recommend the one who helped me.

    Good luck and try not to beat yourself up. Love and attachment happen regardless of bottle or breast.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    504

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    Sorry you're having a tough time, Mama. You really care about him and it shows! Do what you feel is best. At about 6 months my DS began to prefer bottles (he got them at daycare while I was at work) and refused the breast. It was heartbreaking. I know the feeling. Eventually I decided to just keep pumping. It was really hard. I wish maybe I'd tried longer to get him back to the breast, but this is just how it worked out for us. Exclusive pumping is possible but if you can get him to nurse at all, it would be great! Here's one thing that worked for us for a little while - maybe it will do the trick for you and get you over this hump - it's call the "finish at the breast" method of getting a baby back to the breast. Basically the baby gets a little bit of expressed milk in a bottle for the immediate gratification, which helps calm him down and focus on nursing. Then you switch him over to the breast, where he finishes his meal. Then, when he's done nursing, he associates the breast with pleasure, comfort, full belly, etc. Worth a shot. Here's the link. Hang in there and best of luck!

    http://www.lowmilksupply.org/FINISHATTHEBREAST.pdf
    Blessed with DS - born 9/2/09 - nursed/pumped for 12 months
    Blessed with DD - born 3/27/12 my dreamfeeder

    903 ounces donated.
    http://www.wakemed.org/landing.cfm?id=135

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    58

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    Have you tried giving him a small bottle (like 1 oz or so) and then offering him the breast? Maybe if he isn't as hungry he will be more willing to give it a try.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    Exclusive pumping is VERY difficult. It's actually harder than breastfeeding directly becomes. You are always spending time at the pump. Pumping in public is awkward, to say the least. I put my entire family on hold for a year -- because I have four boys and no help during the day with them -- to EP. It was not until I cut to 4 times a day where we started doing things again, like just going to the park (!!) because I had to pump every couple of hours or so. I pumped in the car a lot.

    I spent about $2000 on pumping stuff his first year. Bags (250-300 a month), horns, extra stuff. Multiple pumps and accessories for said pumps. Formula would have been cheaper.

    Most mothers struggle with supply via the pump. It doesn't stimulate your supply nearly as well.

    Get a hospital grade pump if you want to do this.

    What I truly hate about EPing is that it does interfere with responding to my baby. So often, he would be crying, and I was hooked up. Once he was mobile, he needed me to go get him. Now, he comes to me, but it was a hassle. And how do you hold a baby while pumping? With difficulty.

    Try the finish at the breast scenario.

    Find a different IBCLC.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    Hello, I'm not an expert, but I've had some problems myself with BFing my 4 months old baby, and I can say that, when things were worse and my baby prefered the bottle to the breast and she would cry if I tried to BF her, it was very helpful to lie down in bed with her, both of us almost naked, as if it was the first time she was in contact with my body. This skin-to-skin experience brought her back to her instincts, and after a few seconds she was looking for the breast and latching as if she had never had a bottle before. Of course it took her a while to suck normally, and often she wouldn't accept the slow milk flow from my breast: milk from the bottle runs much faster! That's why I introduced an SNS, and although that also has some disadvantages, it kept me BFing - until today.
    I hope things get better for you. Be strong! This is not easy at all...

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,894

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*yaiza View Post
    Hello, I'm not an expert, but I've had some problems myself with BFing my 4 months old baby, and I can say that, when things were worse and my baby prefered the bottle to the breast and she would cry if I tried to BF her, it was very helpful to lie down in bed with her, both of us almost naked, as if it was the first time she was in contact with my body. This skin-to-skin experience brought her back to her instincts, and after a few seconds she was looking for the breast and latching as if she had never had a bottle before. Of course it took her a while to suck normally, and often she wouldn't accept the slow milk flow from my breast: milk from the bottle runs much faster! That's why I introduced an SNS, and although that also has some disadvantages, it kept me BFing - until today.
    I hope things get better for you. Be strong! This is not easy at all...
    very good advice.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  8. #18

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    I spoke to the lactation consultant at the hospital yesterday and she discouraged me from using an SNS because my DS is so old and expects to get milk faster than the SNS can provide. Should I still try it? She's the one who sells it, but I'm okay going against her advice and buying it. Is the Lactaid better than the SNS?

    Thank you all for your suggestions. So far, no real progress. I've tried finishing at the breast, but as soon as I take the bottle away, my son just looks at the bottle longingly and refuses to even try to latch. This is very frustrating. I wonder if part of it is I'm not making enough milk. Right now I'm using Medela Pump 'n Style. Would a hospital grade pump be better for stimulation?

    I think I will sleep skin-to-skin with him as a majority of you have suggested. I have to work tomorrow, but not for the rest of the week, so maybe I'll spend a couple of days in bed with him. I hope that will make some kind of a difference. I'm starting to feel that he is just not a nursing baby. Is there such a thing?

    There is so much amazing advice and wisdom here. Thank you again. Any other thoughts, please share.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,905

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    she discouraged me from using an SNS because my DS is so old and expects to get milk faster than the SNS can provide
    Yes, if baby has been bottle fed for a while baby probably IS used to a fast flow, which is one of the reasons bottles can cause/worsen issues when trying to get baby back to the breast. But that "flow confusion" has to be overcome somehow in order to bring baby back to the breast. What were her suggestions for bringing baby back to the breast?

    Folks who have actually used a lactation aid will have better insight, but my understanding from talking to moms using lactation aids is 1) yes, lactation aids can be frustrating to use. But how much of a frustration will vary from mom to mom and baby to baby. It is a generally a very good way to supplement baby and still keep baby nursing at the breast, and also can work to encourage a reluctant nurser.

    2) Before you make the investment in a lactaid or sns , my understanding is you can make a homemade lactation aid. The manufactured ones have features that make them more convenient and may work better, but depending on your finances you may want to give the homemade one a try to see if it is something that may work at all. Remember there will be a learning curve.

    article on lactation aids: http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...tion&Itemid=17

    video-about halfway down the page there is a video of mom using a simple lactation aid: http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...id=6&Itemid=13

    As far as pumping, yes for exclusive pumping or supply building, a rental pump is usually most effective. A breastfed baby needs about 25 ounces of breastmilk a day, give or take. How much milk are you pumping at this point? And how often are you pumping?

    Kellymom.com has good articles for pumping and supply buiding. The book Making More Milk is an exceelent sopurce of info for issues of low supply.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; May 9th, 2012 at 01:10 AM.

  10. #20

    Default Re: I need help. Considering weaning my four month old.

    Here's a little update:

    I pumped every two hours last night to try to get my milk back. Pumping output isn't different, but I definitely feel more full, so hopefully it will work in the next couple of days. I also spent the night skin-to-skin with my DS. I haven't been very hopeful that anything would really happen until just now. I was laying skin-to-skin with him and thought just for fun I offered him the breast without a nipple shield, expecting nothing but the normal angry grunts/crying. He smiled. He actually smiled!

    Then he sucked a couple of times without a nipple shield for a few seconds. Here's hoping for progress. I will continue to have skin-to-skin contact with him and pump to get my milk back. I can't help but wonder if his most recent aversion to the breast came from my lack of supply.

    I am still looking into trying an SNS. I appreciated the information about the DIY SNS. I just need to find a feeding tube and I'm in business.

    Thank you all so much for caring and passing on words of support and wisdom. I guess this is why we have La Leche League. If you think of any other ideas, please pass it on. I appreciate it all!

    Thank you again.

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