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Thread: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

  1. #1
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    Mar 2012
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    Unhappy 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    Hey everyone,

    this is my second post on this forum.

    I don't know if this is the lack of sleep or what but i feel like a Breastfeeding mum's failure.

    Basically my Ds is 11 weeks old and after overcoming a few challenges (OALD - engorgement - painful breasts and nipples) we had a couple of weeks of pure bliss.
    Then he got poorly with bronchiolitis ( see my post "milk decreasing help") and was feeding less because his nose was congested. So the milk supply adjusted making me feel less full and I got scared my milk would not come back. But it did.

    However since then baby has been feeding weirdly and I am back with sore nipples again. He seems to want to latch on to the nipple only, not opening his mouth wide enough, or latches on and off and sucks on the nipple which hurts. and he also bites!!! Now he has not got teeth yet but I can feel his jaws clamping my nipple and he really hurt me this morning. He has been really unsettled at the breast for every feed with his arms punching the air or my breasts and his body wriggling. Now even when he had bad wind he was more settled than that!!!

    Last night he woke up and did the sucking on nipple business so took him off an tried again soooooooooo many times but he was having none of it. When I tried to open his mouth and put the breast a bit deeper he gagged!!!! He is also pulling a face as if to say that I am feeding him with something disgusting. Anyway it was 4 o'clock and I broke down. This morning my breasts were full as he didnt really feed properly and again he looked at the breast as if he did not know what to do with it...

    When he finally fed "properly" about an hour ago he started off calm and then started punching and being unsettled again. he also looks like he is chewing something at times....

    WHAT IS GOING ON??? At around 8/9 weeks I thought me and him had mastered it, we were both really enjoying it, so why on earth is it going wrong again? is it going to be a bumpy ride all the way? I was sooo peaceful and proud when breastfeeding him and now I feel really low again just like at the beginning when I had not much confidence.

    I don't understand what I am doing wrong. And it's bad enough that people say to me :" what? he is nearly three months old and not sleeping through the night??? he must not be getting enough milk!!!" that's so stupid, I have loads of milk but he just does not seem to want it...

    please please if anyone has the answer...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,267

    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    So sorry the clouds haven't parted for you yet, mama!

    It sounds to me like you still have a touch- maybe more than a touch- of OALD and oversupply. Older babies often discover that by clamping down on the nipple they can control the flow of milk. It's like crimping a straw or a hose. I know you felt like you had the issue controlled, but a funny thing about oversupply is that it can return without warning. I felt that controlling it was a "2 steps forward, 1 step back" sort of thing. Progress, setback, progress again, more setbacks... It took several months for the OS to be completely tamed.

    Don't worry about baby not sleeping through. That has NOTHING to do with milk supply and everything to do with your baby's personality.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,501

    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    Something that's helped us is if DS3 wants to nurse in the middle of the night, I will lay on my back and rest DS3 across my belly with his mouth positioned over my nipple to nurse. This helps stem the flow of my milk naturally without DS3 having to fight it. It also helps keep him from getting overfull, or from swallowing too much air which makes him uncomfortable and less able to settle back down to sleep.
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,760

    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    However since then baby has been feeding weirdly and I am back with sore nipples again. He seems to want to latch on to the nipple only, not opening his mouth wide enough, or latches on and off and sucks on the nipple which hurts. and he also bites!!! Now he has not got teeth yet but I can feel his jaws clamping my nipple and he really hurt me this morning. He has been really unsettled at the breast for every feed with his arms punching the air or my breasts and his body wriggling. Now even when he had bad wind he was more settled than that!!!
    oI agree with mommal. This sounds like oald. And I also agree nursing laying down or reclined as pianosinger suggests could help. Another thing that could cause some of this is baby not being happy with the nursing position. Also the 'air (and mom) punching" is something my oldest did a lot. We called it breast wrestling. It could be a kneading behavior that looks like flailing because baby is not in a position where he can knead and hug the breast. Again, a more leaned back position may help.

    Try not to get too frustrated and lose confidence-I know this is frustrating due to your history but nothing you describe sound all that unusual to me...sometimes it seems like every week brings a different challenge when breastfeeding-or when mothering in general, come to think
    of it...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    1,567

    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    I think you got some good advice above, but I wanted to just add my support. I had a rough time of it nursing my first (due to thrush in my case), and I can tell you that I am really really glad I persevered, although there were lots of tears, anxiety, calls to LLL leaders, long talks to my mom and MIL and DH, etc. I also came here A LOT for support, and feel free to do so! There are lots of wonderfully supportive moms here that can offer lots of great advice or just to listen.

    I hope you can figure this all out soon.

    Oh and as for sleeping, PLEASE don't worry about that, its totally totally normal for babies not to "sleep through the night" for a long time. For me, my first got up many times during the night for a long time, I can't remember totally but I know it was well over a year, and then, they still got up 1-2 times for a long time. Co-sleeping was what got me through, personally. A child not "sleeping through the night" doesn't have anything to do with your breastfeeding. My 2 older kids gained well but didn't sleep through until closer to 2 years old, although the 2nd child only got up 1-2 times at night normally, the older one it was a lot more than that. I'm convinced that maybe some children do sleep through well early, but not most.
    Mommy to 3 beautiful girls!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    West Salem, Ohio
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    176

    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    My little girl is 14 weeks now. I also have OALD/OS and she would gag and pull away, sometimes latching on and off. I found that laying down to feed her often worked the best. Also when she would gag, or when I noticed the let down, I unlatch her and let the first spray go into a burp rag until it stops. She usually sits peacefully while this happens, but when she doesn't sometimes I let it spray her lips and it soothes or entertains her because she will often calm down. Not often but occassionally I will pump before feeding her and she seems easier at nursing that way...
    I also had very sore nipples during the beginning, I started thinking about giving up, but I felt like I couldn't when she was so willing. So I stuck it out and used a nipple shield a couple times a day and gradually stopped using it as the pain went away.
    As for sleeping at night, my little one still eats at least twice from my older girls bedtime until we wake up in the morning...
    I hope things work out for you
    Oh, and a last thought, sometimes if I carry her more often or for longer periods it calms her down. I think that it makes up for not being able to comfort nurse a lot, I think I have too much milk to make a good pacifier So I put her in my moby wrap and we spend the day together. She also has days where she will lay in her crib with her stuffy, who she chews on a lot, with her mobile going, and she is as happy as can be.
    Good Luck!!!
    Mother of 3 beautiful girls, and expecting baby number 4 in July

    Elisabeth ~ 9/25/07
    Eliana ~ 1/08/09
    Elivia ~ 1/22/12 ~ EBF

    with all 3 still

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Exeter
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    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    It sounds to me like you still have a touch- maybe more than a touch- of OALD and oversupply. Older babies often discover that by clamping down on the nipple they can control the flow of milk. It's like crimping a straw or a hose. I know you felt like you had the issue controlled, but a funny thing about oversupply is that it can return without warning. I felt that controlling it was a "2 steps forward, 1 step back" sort of thing. Progress, setback, progress again, more setbacks... It took several months for the OS to be completely tamed.


    well well well... sounds like you are right! woke up this morning with rock hard breasts, drenched nursing pads etc... even though baby fed three times in the night. the OS is back with a vengeance... so yes I guess i am back to square one... well not quite at least I know what to do straightaway this time around! so what you said about "control" makes sense! thank you for your help.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Exeter
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    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    Thank you for all your replies and support i feel a little stronger today already thanks to you savior mamas! There is no way i am losing this battle, but sometimes it gets to me when I see my son being frustrated at the breast. It feels like i am useless at doing the most natural thing:feeding my baby. And with the lack of sleep i suppose it escalates sometimes... I guess nobody has warned me about all the challenges. I wish I had been more prepared.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default Re: 11 weeks-why is it still a challenge??? feeling low...

    How are things going, Mama?
    ~Sylvia~

    Wife to Nick, m. May 2005

    Mommy to Gabriel (b. January 2007, 8lbs. 15oz.), nursed 18 months.

    Isaac (b. August 2009, 9lbs. 1oz- naturally), nursed 22 months, through PPD/PPA and emergency gallbladder surgery.

    and Corban (b. March 2012, 11lbs. 6Oz.- naturally in the water), my NICU baby, still nursing strong at age 2!


    Daughter of God

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