My daughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and is breastfeeding the baby....sort of. At the hospital, my daughter was given a shield, supposedly because her nipples weren't big enough and she continued to use the shield at home. Dad has taken the week off and is a very willing parent, but maybe he's a little too involved. At only 4 days old Mom and Dad thought it a good idea to introduce the baby to formula. The next day the baby was having so many bowel movements I told my daughter she should call the pediatrician because it wasn't normal. This was before I was told that the baby had been getting formula in addition to breast milk.
The doctor wanted to see the baby and my daughter and her husband took her into the office. The doctor told them everything appears to be fine and the frequent bowel movements could be from overhydration, something I've never heard before. The doctor also said adding formula was OK. Or at least that is what I've been told.
The baby is now 8 days old and I think Dad is giving her formula at night so Mom can sleep. While visiting today, my daughter had pumped milk and when the baby was hungry fed the baby from a bottle instead of her breast. My remarks that she should be feeding the baby from her breast, not from a bottle and certainly not adding formula because it is going to affect her milk production are not being accepted by either Mom or Dad and I had to walk away or get into an argument with the two of them. Dad says he was a formula baby and didn't suffer any ill affects and both Mom and Dad seem to believe the pediatrician is OK with this. But my biggest concern is that I don't think it normal for my daughter to be what appears to me an avoidance of contact with her child and as she has a history of an axiety disorder I am really concerned that what is going on here is related to postpartum depression. She has had one meltdown since she's gotten home and seems to allow Dad to take over 50% of the child care which includes changing and feeding.
I breastfed both my kids, and am certainly no expert, but the only time anyone but myself fed them was if for some reason I was not available to them. That came when they were months old, not days old. I'm getting a bad feeling about all of this and although the new Dad is proving to be a great and willing parent he is going back to work and my daughter is going to have to become a more involved then she is currently. What is a grandmother can I do?