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Thread: Overwhelmed please help!!!

  1. #1

    Default Overwhelmed please help!!!

    I want to breast feed my little boy so bad, but am having a hard time. I am a first time mom and my newborn is a week old. My milk did not come in until 5 days after his birth and he had lost so much weight the doctors were concerned and I could not watch as he cried for food. After trying some S&S I ended up giving him the bottle and that is were it all began. Now he does not want to breast feed. He latches on great but because its harder than a bottle he gives up fast and just cries. I try to sooth him with a finger and soothing sounds, but after 10 minutes of crying I cant take it anymore and I end up caving-in and giving him my pumped milk through a bottle. I hate myself for doing it but I can't stand it when he cries. What can I do? How can I get him to feed from my breast? Please help, I feel like such a failure.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    Default Re: Overwhelmed please help!!!

    You are not a failure momma! Keep your head up! You will get through this! Ive been there, crying w my lo because hes hungry n wont latch and giving in to the bottle. But we overcame it. Maybe not over night, and honestly we are still learning and working to perfect it. I know what your feeling, but just know that this sadness you feel...its aw little bump in the road. Babies natural instinct is to nurse, and he just needs your help to get back on tract! What helped me was contacting an LC. My lo began nursing again (in our case w the assistance of a nipple shield due to tt) immediately. Now we have weaned off and are still working on mastering this beautiful relationship that only a mother and child share! Hang in there! You will find sooo much support here!
    I am so blessed!


    2 's in heaven

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Overwhelmed please help!!!

    The early milk is colustrum which is very scant and it is within normal range for it to take up to 5 days (sometimes even longer) for it to transition to abundant mature milk. It's possible supplementation was/is needed, it depends how much weight was lost and other factors. But also possible it was/is not.

    So, what to do now. 1) gently encourage (but do not try to force) baby to latch and nurse FREQUENTLY. A baby this age needs to nurse a minimum of 10-12 times in 24 hours. Do not wait for baby to be fussy and frantic to nurse. Nurse at the earliest cues, in fact no reason to wait for any cues, offer to nurse whenever you want. Kellymom.com has the best article for this (baby who won't nurse) but I cannot link it, the site seems to be down right now. One thing to try-Put baby to the breast and try dribbling expressed milk or formula onto your nipple to give baby and instant reward if he will not latch or unlatches quickly.

    2) If you supplement, pump for every time you supplement or as close to that as possible. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HOW MUCH MILK COMES OUT WHEN YOU PUMP. Babies are more effective at milk removal than the best pumps. But it is vitally important for your milk supply going forward that you remove milk from your breasts with a similar frequency an exclusively nursing baby would. So pump for about 15 minutes per side for every time you supplement. Use the best pump you can get. If you do not have a pump or your pump seems to not be effective, try hand expression.

    3) Feed the baby-If baby will not nurse, or cannot nurse well enough, then you have to supplement. It's OK! Don’t guilt trip yourself about feeding your baby.

    BUT, remember it is normal for a baby this age to be fussy and to 'act hungry.' It is normal for a baby this age to want to nurse again 10 minutes after a nursing session. Even a baby who has fed well at the breast will 'suck down' a bottle if it is offered, because the baby wants to keep sucking, not because he needs more food. A baby who has been 'topped off' with a bottle when it was not really needed will suddenly sleep heavily due to digesting a large meal or (if formula) difficult to digest meal.

    So baby behavior will often be misleading when trying to figure out if baby is getting enough. Do not let your confidence be undermined by normal baby behavior. Look at output and weight gain, which will give you a much more concrete picture about whether baby is getting enough milk when nursing. Look at poops and also make sure you always measure weight gain from the lowest known weight, (or the last weight check weight) and NOT birth weight.

    4) Get hands on help. If your baby cannot get enough milk at the breast, breastfeeding must be assessed by someone who can help you. The issue could be low milk supply, or it could be that baby does not transfer milk well. These are not always the same issue! It also could be that all is well but your confidence is shot so you keep supplementing when you do not need to. So it is important, if there is an issue, to find out what it is so you are working on the right thing. If you can see an IBCLC, great, or contact your local LLL Leader. this is very early days and there is no reason at all to think you will not be able to breastfeed your baby going forward!

    Links: diaper log (measuring output) http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...diaper_log.pdf
    feeding cues: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...eding_cues.pdf

    If you must supplement, would be best if you could supplement with an at the breast supplementer, but if you cannot, supplement with the bottle in a way that does not undermine breastfeeding as much: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfedbaby.pdf

    Hand expression: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...expression.pdf

    feeding the non-latching baby-one possible approach: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...ching_baby.pdf

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2010

    Default Re: Overwhelmed please help!!!

    Perhaps this could be a way to supplement with the bottle (if you must) in a way that still encourages breastfeeding - the "finish at the breast" method. Baby gets a little milk from the bottle first for the instant gratification, but then you switch to the breast...might be worth a shot. It worked for me with DS started to prefer the faster flow of bottles. The website is tailored for "low milk supply" issues, but I'm not saying you have that. I just like this article and this method and wanted to pass it on. Good luck and hang in there!

    Blessed with DS - born 9/2/09 - nursed/pumped for 12 months
    Blessed with DD - born 3/27/12 my dreamfeeder

    903 ounces donated.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Landof2toddlers, Oregon

    Default Re: Overwhelmed please help!!!

    I say start and the breast and finish at the breast. The baby gets initial response to hunger at the breast and the sensation of comfort there too

    And here is some information about weaning from supplements http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/basi...rease-formula/
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

    • my surprise baby: the one and only D-Man born 3 weeks late (5/5/08) at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches, and
    • the shock H-Girl born about a week late (10/7/09) at 8lbs 15oz and 20.75 inches.

    If I am here I am covered in baby (probably two) and fighting for control of the keyboard.

    Family beds are awesome

    Wondering if you have PPD? Take the screening and see your doctor. You deserve to feel better.

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