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Thread: How to cope with weaning psychologically

  1. #1

    Unhappy How to cope with weaning psychologically

    I am currently weaning my 16 month old. We are down to nursing only once a day. It's been tough on her, but nevertheless, she's handling it a lot better than I had expected. However, I am not handling it well at all. I am feeling so down and I just want to cry. It's like I am parting away from my baby. Actually, I am writing this post with tears in my eyes. My daughter is not a cuddler, and the only time we were able to cuddle well is during nursing. I can't believe I have to give this up.

    So what are some ways to help me cope with the psychological aspect of weaning?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically

    Please don't take this the wrong way, but my first question is "Do you have to wean her?" Obviously you have worked very hard to get to this point, but if you're feeling so down about weaning and your baby has been reluctant... I have to wonder if maybe continuing to nurse isn't the easiest and most pleasant course of action. My experience with nursing toddlers has been almost exclusively positive.

    If you must wean, then it's going to be okay. You will find other ways to connect and cuddle with your baby. Don't be too surprised if she's not a cuddler. Active toddlers often are too busy to spend a lot of time being little lovey-dovey lap babies. But they will come back to mama's arms- maybe not quite as often as when they were tiny, but sometimes more intensely. When you're cuddling a big kid, cuddling is often more verbal and playful than simply physical.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically

    I agree with mommal. My baby is 14.5 months old and I can't imagine weaning her in a month and half. Is there some reason you feel like you need to wean? Maybe you could keep the one nursing a day?

    I weaned my older daughter when I was pregnant with my younger daughter and Lilah was 25 months. She did become more cuddly for cuddle sakes and seemed to substitute reading books together for nursing.

    I will say this too - the only time I got to sit down from the time Lilah was about a year up until she weaned was when she was nursing. And Trixie is EVEN more active than her sister was and nurses very quickly, so I don't get to sit down at all anymore.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically

    Me three. If it is tough on the baby AND YOU and NEITHER Of you ready than why not hold on to your one session a day for a while?

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically

    Very rarely there actually is a medical reason to wean, for example, the need for aggressive cancer treatment in mom. But otherwise there is usually no reason to wean until you and baby are ready. If you have been told you must wean due to needing to take a certain medication, or for any other reason, even by a doctor, please know this is almost never the case. You can call the folks at www.infantrisk.com for info on the safety of taking a particular medication.

    If you do need to wean, your feelings of loss are very common and entirely normal. This represents a big change in your relationship with your baby! Even moms who have nursed for years and are truly ready to let it go feel a loss at this change. Of course this is going to be even harder on moms who are weaning when they do not really want to.

    Mothering continues beyond breastfeeding and your baby will still very much need your presence no matter when you wean, I assure you. Many babies start to get active and more independent as they enter toddlerhood. Having you there and available is still so important for your baby's sense of safety and security, even if she does not 'act" like this is so!

  6. #6
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    Mar 2010
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    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically



    When my little boy started cutting back on his nursing sessions, around 2 years old, I actually grieved. I also think weaning causes some hormonal changes in mom that can be very tough. So your feelings are normal. But please share with us why you are weaning so that we can understand better.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically

    My son will be 15 mo on Friday and has been nursing once a day for about a month. He does great with it. My plan was to go 18mo, but he has his own ideas. He actually refused to nurse. It broke my heart. I understand it is hard on moms. Hang in there! If someone is pressuring you, don't give in. You know in your heart what is best for you and your little girl.
    Passed my CLC exam!

    Mother of 3: 12-25-04 12-3-07 1-13-2011

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically

    I have read recent articles on post-weaning depression, due to changes in hormones. I am very concerned about this, as I am super sensitive to hormone changes, even though we are nowhere near weaning. I hope this is not the case for you.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    36

    Default Re: How to cope with weaning psychologically

    I recently weaned my 2yo twins. They were ready and I was happy to be moving on from this stage. But I was a total basketcase for a couple of months afterward--crying, irritable, depressed, lethargic. I was ready to check in to a padded room somewhere--not exaggerating! I thought I was just losing my mind but now that I am feeling "normal" again, I wonder if I didn't go through some sort of hormonal depression. It was very confusing and disconcerting. Wish someone had prepared me for such a possibility. Other than that, we are all happily finding a new sense of independence and still making lots of time for physical closeness.

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