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Thread: We're not getting any sleep!

  1. #11

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    My pediatrician said I should try and move her to another room. He said she can smell and hear me so it's making her nurse more often, Especially with her food right in her face. I found that when I moved my 1st daughter to her crib at 4 months she did sleep longer. However, this baby is so different.
    I think this can be true sometimes with an older baby or toddler, but since the current studies show that baby sleeping remotely (in another room) from mom increases the risk of SIDS I am not sure about this advice for a baby under 6 months. Certainly you could try having baby in a separate bassinet or crib in your own room and see if that makes any difference. This is called room sharing and is another way to 'sleep in close proximity' to baby besides actually bedsharing. Bedsharing helps lots of moms get more sleep but it is certainly not for everyone.

    If you can access that link from my previous post, I urge you to explore that website. You will find lots of up to date info from a number of studies on safe room-sharing, safe bed-sharing, what the current research suggests is actually dangerous when sleeping & what is not, etc. There is even a page specifically for "tired parents." http://www.isisonline.org.uk/sleep_h...tired_parents/

    You can learn to nurse from the "top" breast when side-lying so you do not have to crawl around baby to switch sides. In my personal experience figuring this out was a big breakthrough and made sleeping with baby even more convenient.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Ontario, Canada

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    Ignore your pediatrician. Your baby wakes because they're hungry. I really wish pediatricians would stop dishing out rooming advice and stick to medical issues.

    I nurse the moment they squirm. The less they wake, the easier they'll drift back off to sleep. For the other side, I just roll further so that they can get the 'high' breast. Sure it requires a little more balance / effort on your part, but it's still way less effort than actually getting up, lifting baby, fussing with trying to lay them back down, etc. It's still new to you both, so there will be a transition period. However you'll eventually get to the point where both of you will be able to nurse with you barely noticing / remembering.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Northern Cal.

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    Joe was never a good sleeper, and woke frequently at night to nurse from birth until he was about, um, 18 months (it has been better since, but he still doesn't sleep through the night even now that he's weaned!). I really think a lot of this is temperament. I definitely had my moments of being SURE I was doing something wrong. Now that things are better, and I have the benefit of hindsight, I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. Joe has always been a wide awake, alert, active kid. Everyone used to comment when he was a newborn that "He's so alert for a newborn!" I should have taken this as a clue.

    Joe would not tolerate sleeping in a bassinet on his own (I had a "cosleeper" that functioned as a dog bed for my dogs ) so I never even dreamed of trying another room. But some children do sleep better if they have their own space, and it's worth a try. I agree that keeping the baby in your room at this age is probably just easier. If you're going to have to nurse at night, not having to get up and walk around will help you get back to sleep better. The less you have to do to nurse, the easier you'll go back to sleep. Once your baby gets a little older and bigger, you won't worry about them quite as much and you'll probably sleep a lot better - it's hard to roll over a big, chubby six month old. Cosleeping is not something I chose to do, although I wasn't opposed - it was something I got used to because I didn't have much other choice! It really did mean more sleep for all of us. Complaints from my DH could be easily dealt with by saying, "Oh, are you going to completely take over nighttime parenting? I didn't think so."

    I would switch sides with Joe - when he'd wake me up to nurse, I'd just pop up, move him over, and lie back down. That way, I was switching sides and not getting too tired of one side. But other women just nurse from the "top boob" and it's no problem for them. Whatever works for you.

    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    middle of IA

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    Yes, side lying works, and you'll get good at rolling over - either with baby on top of you, or scooting her under you as you switch. I also really like ltpyng on my back, with baby at 90 degrees across my chest nursing that way. Not sure when you can start that - I didn't discover it til recently with my 10 mo and so I don't know how much head control it takes. When I was getting REALLY tired of all the night feeding - maybe 4 or 5 months? - I did find that pulling my shirt down to cover my boobs would allow me to get an extra hour here and there.

    But- it did also get dramatically easier for me, right about where you're at, as LO got head control and could latch himself so much better. So hang in there, because I bet the same will happen for you.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  5. #15

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    Wow, I never knew I could nurse from the "top breast" while side-lying. I could try this. Meg, reading the site now. It's very informative.

    Is it best btw 3-4 months to transfer baby to a crib in a separate room? Just wondering because I know as they get older, the harder it might get... Wondering if I should try in a couple of weeks?

  6. #16

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    Is it best btw 3-4 months to transfer baby to a crib in a separate room? Just wondering because I know as they get older, the harder it might get... Wondering if I should try in a couple of weeks?
    The current reccomendation due to SIDS risk is that baby sleeps in the same room as mom until they are at least 6 months old. But this is ONLY based on the reserch about SIDS risk. The risk of SIDS naturally goes down anyway for healthy full term babies after about 6 months.

    If you ask 10 different people you will get 10 different opinions about where older babies/children "should" sleep. This is purely a parenting choice. Lots of experts have lots of opinions but little of it is based on reserch. To look into some so-called "alternative" ideas about baby/child sleep, you could check out www.attachmentparenting.org or the work of sleep researcher Dr. James McKenna. http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/

    In most of the world and for most of history, children share a sleep space with thier parents for years, not months, with no issues at all. Kids grow up healthy and happy, smart and independant, siblings are conceived, marriages do fine, all despite having babies and kids sleeping in the same room as the parents. Historically speaking, having babies and young children sleep "in their own room" is a very recent concept that primarily exists only in the western world.

    There is no reseach I am aware of that indicates it is best for a baby or young child to sleep alone, even after 6 months. I am also not aware of any research that suggests it is harder or easier to transition baby into thier own room at any particular age. I guess my question to that assertion is-easier for whom? Yes, a toddler has words and can walk & maybe even climb out of a crib and thus can more effectively refuse to sleep in a different room and do something about it. But that does not mean a baby finds it any easier to sleep apart from mom. Babies have a biological need to sleep close to the protection of a trusted adult, because if they don't, as far as they are concerend, they will get eaten by the sabor tooth tiger or anything else that is bigger than they are. Oh, there are no sabor tooth tigers at your house? But your baby can not know that. His instincts tell him he is only safe in the presence of a protective adult.

    Mom sleeping close to baby also increases breastfeeding duration, an important health consideration for both baby and mom. Yes of course you CAN keep nursing if baby is sleeping in another room, but the studies show this does generally adversely affect breastfeeding duration.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Shakedown St.

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*bella10 View Post
    Is it best btw 3-4 months to transfer baby to a crib in a separate room? Just wondering because I know as they get older, the harder it might get...
    I don't think it gets harder as they get older at all. Actually, the opposite was true for us. I think it is easiest to transition them to their own room when they are ready. I started putting my son down in his own room to start out the night when he was somewhere around 10-11 months old because he enjoyed having the space in his crib. It was completely natural and tear-free because he was ready for it. I do still bring him into bed with me when he first wakes up at night though. I'm sure I could get him back to sleep in his crib, but it's much easier for me to bring him to bed. Plus his daddy likes having him in bed with us.

    You could try moving your baby into her own room as your pediatrician suggested and see how it goes. Just be aware that while there is a small possibility that doing so could help your baby sleep longer stretches, it may very well make your sleep situation far worse rather than better. I would be prepared to switch her back to your room if it doesn't work out. However, I do agree with lllmeg that 3 months is extremely young for a baby to be in her own room, and it is safer to try a separate sleeping space in your room if you are amenable to that. I personally would not have been comfortable having my baby so far away from me at such a young age, but that's me.

    Also keep in mind that there are a lot of legitimate reasons why babies wake frequently during the first couple years. There are so many teeth and milestones and sometimes even illnesses that can cause your baby to need some comfort during the night. Many babies truly need to eat at night as well, especially at such a young age. I know it's exhausting, but showing your baby that you are there for her when she needs you will only benefit her as she grows.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2012

    Default Re: We're not getting any sleep!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*bella10 View Post
    Is it best btw 3-4 months to transfer baby to a crib in a separate room? Just wondering because I know as they get older, the harder it might get... Wondering if I should try in a couple of weeks?
    Noam really enjoys his alone time, he likes to sit on his own and watch things by himself. He really only wants active attention during the morning and evening hours right before and after bed, so I let him sleep in his crib. We keep the video monitor on and turned up and his bedroom door open so I can pop in to check on him without the sound of his door waking him up. But that is just him, a lot of babies need or want to be close to their parents and don't feel safe if they aren't. I understand your concern about it being harder on your little one to move her to her own room once she is more aware of her surroundings but I'm sure that when the time comes that she wants her own space she will let you know.

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