Hello to all!
Let me start of by saying what a blessing it is to have found this website! I cried tears of joy when I first stumbled upon it. The support is amazing. But what made me cry was seeing, and reading that I wasn't alone in my struggles with breastfeeding! I felt normal for once, I no longer felt like a failure, I can finally laugh when my LO accidently gets sprayed with milk during my oald. I am not alone
Even before my son was born, I knew I wouldn't fear labor and delivery. My doctor implanted the thought that there is no pain during this time...just a very uncomfortable and intense excercise we MUST go through. My fear was breastfeeding.
He came early at 35 weeks without any warning. The first time at my breast was akward. His mouth was soo tiny and my boob looked huge next to his little head. But with the assistance of the nurses, we did the best we could. However due to his preterm status and high levels of bilirubin, the small amounts of colostrum were not enough. I was advised to supplement with formula, but with God's blessing and lots of pumping, we only supplemented for 1 day!
The thought of breastfeeding while visitors were there was uncomfortable, so I continued with the bottle. Biggest mistake I made. I should have popped it out regardless of visitors or not. I should have taken advantage of everysingle opportunity to continue learning and teaching my baby this art.
I cried at home when trying to latch him, because he spit it out, cried and screamed because he was hungry. So I fed him the bottle. The first lactation consultant we saw immediatly told me my "anatomy was to big for him" and to "come back when the baby weighs 10 lbs and we will give it a shot." She hadn't even undressed the baby. I left heartbroken. I knew we could do it. We did it at the hospital a few times, I knew it was possible, so we attempted another visit with another consultant. This was very different. Right away she pointed out the fact that my baby was tounge tied, got on the phone immediatly and scheduled us an appointment to get it looked at. She handed me a nipple shield and within seconds, my LO was nursing During the next couple of weeks we corrected the tounge tied, worked on pumping less to control the os and oald and baby continued to nurse with the shield. 14 days later we started weaning off of it! There were times when I cried to myself, or to my dh and just felt like giving up. I wished for smaller breast and nipples too lol. At one point I looked at my LO and blamed him for not knowing how to breastfeed. Shame on me for feeling that way.
I've learned that breastfeeding can come naturally for some lucky individuals.., but for some, it takes patience, persistance and lots of love. 28 days after starting the shield, we went cold turkey! Now my new struggle is correct latching, next will be bf in public! We saw our lactation consultant yesterday for help with the latch. She assured me that it does not have to look like it does in the pictures. If baby is happy, and I'm not in pain, then were good. She taught me the correct position, how to bring him to breast not the other way around. We will have to practice practice practice to get this right! For some reason everything is easier in her office lol! My LO is now at 8.3lbs..big diffence a month and a half and lots of breastmilk will make! We started seeing her when he was just 5.13lbs! My goal is to continue bf until he turns one, but maybe by then we will be soooo good at it, who knows..we may go longer!
I look forward to participating in future posts. Thank you so much for your support! I am so happy to be part of this!