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Thread: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    52

    Default Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    I just can't continue on the way we are and really need help weaning my 13.5 month old. I'm not sleeping much at all because LO is up all night nursing. I'm trying to cut down the time in each session but she gets so upset if I unlatch her. It's to the point that I don't want to be touched at night even for my husband to rub my back. I feel like for my own sanity, I really need to wean LO. I am just not happy bfing anymore.

    Currently she nurses when she goes down for naps (once or twice a day) and she nurses to sleep and throughout the night which is every hour or so. We co-sleep. Some days she will nurse once or twice during the day (in addition to naps) when she isn't feeling as well, like when teething. She is up and down with eating solids. I'm trying to get her to eat finger foods but she's not usually that interested. So I give her something to feed herself each meal (toast, fruit, whatever we are eating) and I spoon feed her something (yogurt, oatmeal, avocado, applesauce, pureed sweet potatoes, etc). She'll usually feed herself a few bites then play with it the rest of the time. She usually eats the spoon fed food but sometimes refuses that. I don't force her to eat anything. If she shakes her head no, I don't push it. She doesn't really like cow's milk so I haven't been giving her any since she's bfing so much. I give her a sippy with water throughout the day but she doesn't really drink much. But I really don't know what would be a normal amount for her.

    I know this is a long post but I felt it might help to see what her meal and nursing habits are like. Any input into where I can make changes to this to help wean her to solids would be so appreciate! I just don't know where to go from here but I know that a change is needed. Thanks ladies!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    Can your husband help with nighttime parenting? Does she have her first set of baby molars? She may be teething now if she doesn't. Does she sleep in bed with you? Maybe you can try having her sleep by your dh instead of you. I understand being completely touched out but I urge you to continue breastfeeding because there is still so much the both of you can get from nursing. She is going to be interacting with other children who are covered in viruses and bacteria, your milk will keep her immune system strong and ready to fight. She is going to fall down and get bruises and scrapes, nursing will calm her. She is going to throw tantrums and be overtired, nursing will calm her. Your milk is still the most nutritious food you can give her but nursing a toddler is more than that. You can cut back and set boundaries now. I found that setting boundaries and limiting my DS allowed us to continue our nursing relationship longer. It's the nighttime nursing that is the issue, right?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Brussels, Belgium
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    1,302

    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    Yes, think abut nightweaning, such as http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html to regain your sleep
    Katharine
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    mid-August DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,266

    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    Nightweaning via the Jay Gordon method is an excellent way to start. And often once you get your nights back, daytime nursing becomes more tolerable. And when a baby is so young, and still so dependent on nursing for nutrition, it can be much easier to nurse than to try to get baby to take a balanced diet of solids.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    52

    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    Thank you for info on night weaning. Has anyone tried this method? What was your experience?
    Mom to TRH born 2/16/11 - 8lbs 7oz., 21in.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    But I really question the teething at 13 months. Because if she IS teething she is probably in the throws of it which of course increase night wakings exponentially and that makes even those if us who had no intention of weaning at a year or two reallly really stressed. The molars are the worst teeth. For every one. For you because it's about 6weeks of night wakings every 45 to 90 minutes and for THEM because there are literally every large holes opening up in the back of their mouths. Remember that they are increasing the nighttime nursing specfically to deal with pain. I would ride out the molars if that is what's happening. After her molars break I agree that night nursing is the place to start. Because it can give you the where withall to coninue to still nurse 3-5 times during the day. Which eliminates the need for other milk. So it would give you more time to let your milk fill in the nutritional gaps while you continue to work on and practice with solids. Because the year point is where weaning is supposed to BEGIN. Not where it happens. You really aren't behind at all in terms of solids when you think about it like that. Right now is just when you are supposed to start to let solid food replace some breastmilk. So figure out if she is teething and then look at beginning the night weaning. And try to begin to be deligent about 3 meals a day plus snacks, cutting out extra day sessions and beginning night sessions should be less overwhelming.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    52

    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    She's been waking up every hour or two throughout the night for several months so I'm having a hard time figuring out if she is about to cut the molars. She does have the typical teething signs - shoving her fingers to the back of her mouth, lots of drool, hardening gums. I'm trying to figure out if I should wait to try night weaning until they come through or do it now since the wakings are not a new occurrence. It seems like there is always something that may get in the way developmentally. Although the molars are painful I'm sure!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    Stick your hand back there. Is She swollen?

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,266

    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    There is always something that can/will throw a monkey wrench into your plans. I totally second the advice to stick a finger into the back and see if the molars are near the surface. If they are, maybe roll with the night waking a bit longer, since when baby is in the midst of heavy-duty teething it's probably not a good time to night-wean. But if you don't feel like they're on the cusp of breaking through, I think you can just go ahead and try the Jay Gordon method. I used something like that with my first daughter- basically, I stayed with my LO and sang/patted her to sleep while she cried, and it worked very well. Within 3 days she was down to 1 nighttime feeding, and was going to bed without a struggle. Now, that's not a guarantee of good results- I tried the same strategy with baby#2 and got nowhere with it. She continued to night-wake and require nighttime nursing until about a week ago, and she'll be 2 in May.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: Can't do this anymore! Need help!

    We did the Pantley No Cry Sleep solution with my lo (now 12 mos) -- we were cosleeping up until 10 or 11mos, and he was nursing at least every hour. We successfully transitioned to crib sleeping in a separate room, and he now goes for 2-4 hour stretches in middle of teething episode). I spent the first few nights pretty much sleeping in the recliner right next to the crib though. It's gotten better. Working on getting him to unlatch himself as he fell asleep worked wonders. It took a while, but once unlatched I could move him (asleep) back to crib. We still nurse to sleep, but now I can put him down and not be stuck right next to him as when we were cosleeping.
    3/2011 {EBF to 6mos, now BF and BLS, CD, EC'ing since 5mos - in underwear at 11mos, and babywearing}
    Babywearing International has chapters - see if there's one near you... most have lending libraries!

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