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Thread: How to lie to your pediatrician

  1. #1
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    Dec 2011
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    Default How to lie to your pediatrician

    When I go to the ped, the nurses are all excited that my son is so big and entirely breastfed. (We went to the 4 mo appt today and he's just over 20lbs). But they really nag about how long he eats and how often. When I say "he eats when he's hungry until he's not hungry any longer", they really want to know for how long... I think more out of a "well, how are we gonna put that in the system?" standpoint, more than a really wanting me to be on a schedule, so I'm not really going to find a new pediatrician over that. But I was just wondering if anyone knows a number I can make up that will make them happy? I don't even have a rough estimate of how long or how often, and they give me strange looks. It's so different every day and every time. Or should I just stick with my current answer? I honestly wouldn't care as much if I didn't have to stand there holding an annoyed baby and making up answers, so I'm going to try to be prepared next time.

    If you made it to the end of that and actually understand whatever it is that my point was, I'm impressed. So basically, I'm wondering what everyone else says or would say in the same situation.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    I used to say "a minimum of 8 times a day" which was true. I dont remember them asking how long for, but I would have answered in a similar way I expect "At least 30 mins" or "at least 15 mins" depending on age...
    proud but exhausted working mammy to two high needs babies

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  3. #3
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    12minutes on each side every 2-3hrs and he sleeps by himself in his crib for 12hrs at night
    All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of subsidiary. ~ Dr. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of Amsterdam, Holland


    **Leslie**

    Mama to:
    Shiloh (5/6/06) Nursed for 13 months and Josephine (7/26/08) Nursed for 23.5 mos Currently nursing my new little firecracker, Finley Catherine, born on the 4th of July!!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    You could ask "how often should he be eating?" and then when they tell you say "yeah, that sounds about right." But I'd be interested in what they say, since of course a 'normal" healthy eating pattern for exclusively nursing 4 month olds is going to be all over the map. And the average mom who is cue feeding is not going to be able to answer that question with any specificity-there is no reason she should. And frankly, they should KNOW that. To me it borders on malpractice when a pediatrician and /or their nurses do not understand normal breastfeeding.

    You may not have the time or patience for this, which I totally get, but I think it would not hurt to ask them WHY they need to know. Your baby is obviously healthy and gaining very well, so there is no medical reason I can see to be charting exactly how much and how long the baby is nursing at 4 months! I am curious why they need this info, I don't recall ever being asked this by our pediatrician. I guess I am saying, you could make up a number to make them happy and make life easier for yourself, or you could chose to educate them a little. Because the next mom who comes in and whose baby, perhaps, is nursing a long time or very frequently, and maybe not growing so dramatically, and they could look at your number and say to her "well you SHOULD only need to be nursing such and such..."

    I am glad the nurses are breastfeeding supportive but they also (imo) should have a solid basic understanding of breastfeeding as well. It kind of makes me sad they are 'excited' that your baby is a healthy weight being breastfed. It’s almost as if they are surprised. I wonder how many 4 month old entirely breastfed babies they see, and how many perfectly healthy babies have been put on supplements because someone thought they were not big enough.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    I understand it's hard to quantify feeding on cue, I tried to give a general number, like 8-10x/day or whatever. I agree you can ask them why they want to know, your baby is healthy and growing you obviously have the hang of things! I've never lied to my pediatrician, but he's the one who referred me to my IBCLC and just left it between the lactation consultants and me to get things right, and then at appts he might ask if she was nursing (of course most of the time she nursed while we waited for him to come in so it was pretty obvious). If what you're doing is working, don't second guess it and I agree it would be good for them to hear that it's normal for your baby to nurse on cue.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    My pedi told me at my 2 month visit that W should eat at least 8 times a day, as I dont want to get the looks or snotty responses from the nurses I go with "At least 8 times a day, more on the weekends when we are together all day" I am actually fully honest with my Pediatrician as he is fully supportive and reminds me that as long as W is gaining and having good wets and poops not to worry. He even supports extended BF, at our 6 month I asked about how long to nurse right before solids and his reaction was awesome "depends on how long you plan to nurse, as long as you want nursing to be his main nutrition keep doing what you are doing"

    I have learned that the nurses seem to be more opinionated and snotty and the Pediatrician is more supportive depending on where you are going.
    I am Klisti, I married my best friend Kris two years ago.

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  7. #7
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    If you trust and like your Pediatrician, how about actually giving them an honest answer? Download an app on your smart phone and track when / how long / how often your baby nurses. I downloaded a free one called "Baby Feeding Log" by Aron Beaver. You tap a button for which side you're nursing on, tap another button when you start nursing and again when you stop. Now you have a record of the start / stop times (so you'll know how long), which side and therefore, how often. It also tracks dirty / wet / both diapers. You can even email / print the records.

    I used it with DD3 while she was jaundiced. It was easy to use, even in my sleep deprived state with a newborn.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
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  8. #8
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    Dec 2011
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    Our pediatrician never asked how many times/for how long baby nurses, he keeps saying "nurse on demand".
    But the nurses and other people in general ask that often and I just say "I don't know, I don't watch the clock, I nurse him when he is hungry" and then I get the strange looks but I don't care anymore. I'm proud! And yes, most people are suprised when they see a chubby and healthy baby and you say he is EBF! They will go "oh really, no formula?"... What is wrong with people?! It's shocking to see how people in general are so uneducated about breastfeeding. At least the vast majority of my friends...
    Last edited by @llli*hermione; March 13th, 2012 at 04:43 AM. Reason: spelling

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    We DS was a newborn they used to ask that question. They weren't looking to see if he was on a schedule they just wanted to make sure he was nursing often enough. Since he was a super sleepy baby they wanted me to nurse AT LEAST every 2 hours and they wanted me to time it because he tended to fall asleep after a minute or so.

    By 4 months they were over it, though, so I don't know if it is the same thing.
    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    You may not have the time or patience for this, which I totally get, but I think it would not hurt to ask them WHY they need to know.
    If the answer is "we want to be sure the baby is nursing enough," then that's okay. Maybe your ped is being cautious and making sure your baby isn't being scheduled into starvation. But if the answer is "well, a baby should only nurse x times a day" or "nursing that often means you have a supply problem" then you've learned something important about the office and you can choose to educate them or to take your money and run to a better practice.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
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