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Thread: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

  1. #1

    Default 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    I apologize for the long post, but I have proudly made it through 10 months of exclusively breastfeeding my daughter with only 2 months left to make it to my goal of one year. This isn't to say it has been easy; we have definately had our fair share of problems, but with the help of LLL Leaders and lactation consultants, and reading these forums, we have made it through, despite the many attempts by my pediatrician to switch to formula.

    I have been having some issues as of late, and I am hoping that you Mama's out there can help me...

    The main issue I am having is with sleep. DD started sleeping through the night the day before I returned to work at 8 weeks old. I have been working full time and pumping since then. When she turned 4 or 5 months she started waking again at night, and has been ever since. It has only gotten worse; she now wakes at least 4 times at night, and will only nurse to fall back asleep. She begins the night in her crib, but by the end of the night she end up sleeping with me in the spare bedroom, as she will wake about 10 minutes after I lay her down. My boyfriend is pretty much completely opposed to co-sleeping and he is suggesting cry-it-out because he thinks I am creating a bad habit by sleeping in the bed with her; however it is the only way I will get any sleep. The other issue is that she is STILL swaddled to go to sleep. We have it down to one arm out, but if she is layed down unswaddled, she will wake immediately by rubbing her eyes. By the time she is in the bed with me however she is unswaddled. I don't know what to do about CIO...I think that it is cruel to go from cuddling with her sleeping with her at night, to putting her in her bed to cry...she won't understand what we are doing. At the same time, I am in desperate need of some sleep, and I am afraid I will cave it I know that it is normal for babies to wake at night, but I feel like at 10 months she shouldn't be waking every 2 hours...

    I am also getting so run down pumping at work. I have to pump 3-4 times per day and I obsess over the clock making sure that I don't let too much time go by in between pumping so that it won't effect my supply. My supply has been up and down. I was wondering for those that nursed for a year or more...how long must I pump at work to keep up an adequate supply? I plan to start "don't offer/don't refuse" when she turns one. But that is my other issue - she doesn't seem to be taking in enough solids to give her enough nourishment...she now refuses baby food, will only take finger foods...but even then she is very picky about what she will eat, and it isn't ever very much in quantity. I was hoping she'd be more established on solids when I began the weaning process. She also has a cow's protein intolerance (I pretty much have eliminated dairy from my diet, so she can't have cow's milk at a year old.

    Thanks for any help that you can give me! Reading these forums have really helped me in the past year with a lot of the issues we have faced!!

  2. #2
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    Both of my daughters woke every 2 hours at that age. My 14 month old wakes every 2 to 3 hours now. My 3.5 year old wakes up maybe once a night, sometimes twice. Can you go to bed earlier to get a little more sleep? Or cosleep iwth her starting at her first waking? That's what I do, generally. I get Trixie to sleep and then leave. Then I join her in her room in a queen size bed when she wakes up the first time.

    I pumped with Lilah until she was a bit over a year and then nursed her until she was 2. I pumped until Beatrix was 11 months old, I had enough freezer stash to get me to the year point at that time. I am still nursing on demand when we are together on the weekends and at night, all night long.

    Your baby is still young yet and will get more into solids as she gets a little older. I am not sure what types of foods you will need to add to make sure that you have enough calcium/fat, but I'm sure some allergy moms will chime in. Lilah took to solids with gusto around 14ish months and Beatrix really liked them starting around 10ish months. However, breast milk still makes up a large portion of her diet right now at 14 months. It's a process.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3

    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    thanks for the reply. i think i would be ok with the sleeping thing if it weren't for my boyfriend (and the MIL!). I don't mind co-sleeping. I kind of feel like I make up time with her that I miss out on when I am at work during the day. I would be perfectly fine with the situation, but I think my boyfriend is feeling neglected when he wakes up and I am not in bed, or when DD goes to sleep and I am ready to call it a night as well. That is why I am feeling the pressure to try CIO. It doesn't help when my b/f is constantly hearing from his mom, who he is very close to, that we NEED to teach DD how to self-soothe :-/ I just wish we were on the same page so that I wouldn't have to make this call

  4. #4
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    It stinks to be on a totally different page than your significant other when it comes to any aspect of childcare, all the more so when you're in conflict over sleep. So a to you for dealing with that!

    Here's what I think (in no particular order):
    - the level of night-waking you are experiencing is normal
    - if you allow your baby to cry it out now, there's no guarantee that you'll get permanent "good" sleeper- you have a lot of teeth and a lot of developmental changes still to get through, and those correlate with increased and/or renewed night-waking. Many parents who let their babies CIO have to resort to CIO over and over again. It's not a one-time deal.
    - cry-it-out methods are easy to suggest and awful to do- it's not going to be your boyfriend's mom sitting there listening to a sad screaming baby, so her opinion on the subject doesn't matter.
    - your boyfriend has to get over himself and realize that you need sleep and co-sleeping with the baby is how you get it. So if he can't tolerate baby in your bed, he has to accept that he's not going to have you by his side all night long. Part of being a grown up is learning to be flexible about sleeping arrangements when the situation calls for it. (Another part of being a grown-up: not running to mommy every time you have an issue, particularly a relationship issue, when you are a grown man. You can tell your boyfriend I said so.)
    - a mom who is struggling with supply probably wants to think very carefully about eliminating nighttime feedings. Those night feedings are probability nutritionally important for your baby, and may well be helping you maintain supply.

    I suggest getting hold of a copy of Elizabeth Pantley's book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and reading it with your boyfriend. The book has gentle, breastfeeding-friendly suggestions for getting a baby to sleep longer and more independently. The suggestions may work, or they may not, but they do give you a place to start and a feeling that you are doing something, which can really help when you and your significant other are in conflict.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    171

    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    with PP's - I'm so sorry that you're having trouble mama. We all know how it feels to be sleep deprived! I can relate to a lot of what you said!

    Re: pumping & supply - how much does baby drink while you're at work? & how much do you usually pump? We may be able to give you some tips with this info If it's possible to pump on your commute to/from work, or before you go to bed at night that may help you make up some if you're coming up short at work, and also take some of the pressure off when you're pumping during work hours. For me, I pump at night before I go to bed - not my favorite thing to do - but it really helps my supply a lot and I get plenty for my bottles with that extra session.

    Re: Nighttime & sleep - I think you are probably right that your LO likes to co-sleep and nurse during the night to make up time with you. At 10 months, she is much more aware of her surroundings, maybe has a little separation anxiety & wants to be with her mommy. Hard to say no to that! However, do you feel like she is nursing for nutrition or more for comfort? If it's for nutrition you should definitely let her - she needs the calories. If it's for comfort you could try to ease her into a schedule that has her nursing less at night - just make sure she gets her snuggles! My DD also slept well from 3-5ish months old, then nursed at night again when she was 5-6 mos old. The routine was not very hard to break b/c she was nursing more out of habit than nutritional need. I think it's very normal for babies to go through phases of more/less night waking, it depends on a lot of things. If she is nursing for comfort, maybe you could try a pacifier while you snuggle with her? That way she could suck but still have you there for comfort. Then you could transition from that to maybe rocking her instead of laying with her, etc.

    Here is what we did/do when DD wakes up at night (note - we do not co-sleep, she sleeps all night in her crib) - in case you may find it helpful Most of the time when DD wakes during the night now, she just needs her paci (it falls out when she's really asleep ) - so that's a quick fix as long as we get to her quickly! DH or I will go in - whoever hears her first. If she really wakes up, DH (if we both have to work the next day, if I'm off I go in & let him sleep) usually goes in and tries to soothe her - rubs her back, etc. If she's upset he will rock her (usually at least 20 min or so), most of the time she goes back to sleep. If she doesn't, he checks her diaper and puts her back to bed with her blanket, lovey & stuffed animal - she falls asleep on her own more easily if she has distractions. If that doesn't work & she is still fussy, I will go in & nurse. This almost always works. If she's still awake then, we let her cry it out (assuming she's not in pain, sick, etc.). It's definitely hard to let her cry, but it's a little easier knowing that we tried everything to get her back to sleep without crying it out. Bottom line (for us) - she needs to learn that night time is for sleeping, not playing, and her bed is where she sleeps (our situation is a little different from yours though in that I work 3 days a week and am home with DD the other 4, so her nighttime wakings aren't usually for snuggles). We haven't had to let her cry it out very often at all, usually something else will work before we get to that. But if we do, it usually doesn't take long since she's already been awake for awhile. Again, this is just what works for us, everyone has their own philosophy & knows what is best for their child specifically. So take what you can from that, if anything

    I agree with mommal about your b/f - he needs to be supportive and communicating with you about what's best for your daughter - not complaining to his mom. Does he help you at all during the night? Is he willing to? If he is, maybe he could try soothing her some? I know if she's used to nursing she will certainly want you, but maybe you could work him in some time too :P If he's not happy with the way things are, he should be willing to help you make adjustments. Also, it may help (if you haven't already) to show him some of the research and reading that you've done so that he understands why you are choosing to do things the way that you do. Parenting is a team thing, so you two need to figure out what will work best for you, your daughter and your family.

    Good luck and sorry for the long, rambling response...I get carried away wanting to help Hopefully I said something that you'll find useful!

    ETA: Haha - all that and I still forgot something! Re: the dairy allergy - my DD is also dairy intolerant but my understanding is that they usually outgrow this sometime between 6-18mos. So your LO may have already outgrown it, or if she hasn't it's very possible that she will soon. So she may be able to have cow's milk around her 1st bday, or soon after. So just don't rule that out yet, but there are lots of other options even if she can't do the cow's milk right away. Also, congrats on making it to 10 mos of EBF - esp as a full time working mom! My goal is one year as well, we are at almost 9 mos and going strong!
    Last edited by @llli*juliasmomma; March 27th, 2012 at 08:18 PM.
    DD, 7-2-2011, "Little Owl" nursed for 21 months

    DS, 10-10-2013, "Mr. Man" EBF and going strong

  6. #6

    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    thank you so much for your reply...i love the ramblings because i am a rambler myself and in desperate need of some advice from someone who know's what i am going through...

    I am typically able to pump exactly what DD needs when she is at daycare. unfortunately i do not have a set schedule. sometimes i work 8 hours, sometimes 10, and i go in at different times daily. i pump 3-4 times in an 8-10 hour period pumping 9-12 oz. if i have to, i dip into my freezer stash to make up for what i do not pump. i used to pump in the mornings, after nursing, before leaving for work, but my body has stopped responding to the pump at this time so i dropped that pumping session. i don't need to pump at night because DD nurses every 2-4 hours through the night. that's ok with me, i'd much rather nurse than pump

    as far as the sleep issue is concerned i think i need to just educate my DP about what is going on. i really feel that the night nursings are important to DD's nutrition and need for mommy time, so i don't think i am really comfortable with dropping these nursings, nor CIO...

    he is, in no means, a bad daddy or unsupportive partner...i think he just doesn't understand what is going on. i would not have made it this far without his support and i hope that he will be understanding and realize that CIO would just not be productive in DD's development. MIL may be another story but....I really don't care what she thinks And I really feel like the night time nursings are for nutrition AND comfort. she has been on the lower side of the percentiles when it comes to weight gain and is NOT taking too well to solids...i'm not sure if i am comfortable eliminating night feedings.

    I really can't express how much your comments have meant to me. It is so hard to continue on this journey not personally knowing anyone who can help me...these forums have been so helpful. I am so glad I have chosen to breastfeed, but it is definately not the EASY way out!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    171

    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    It's so important to have a supportive partner - makes all the difference! I know I couldn't do it either without my DH's support - he's the bottle washer/milk scalder every night - he deserves an award I think! Sounds like you know what's best for your DD - follow your instincts. I thought we would be the CIO type but when it came right down to it, we just didn't feel right letting her cry for hours. Keep the night nursings if that's what you feel she needs, she will drop/decrease them at her own pace when she's ready (or at least you'll be able to tell when she's not really eating anymore) & you can ease her out of them. Snuggles are important too

    You are a great mama!
    DD, 7-2-2011, "Little Owl" nursed for 21 months

    DS, 10-10-2013, "Mr. Man" EBF and going strong

  8. #8
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    My husband and I came to a crossroads about this when Lilah was 14 months old. I finally told him that since I don't get to comfort my baby during the day, I will be damned if I'm not going to comfort her at night when she is crying. That really got through to him and got him to back off on it. Also, for me, the crib was too stressful. I couldn't get her back in there when she was asleep, it seemed like moving her wasn't working anymore. I put a mattress on the floor in her room and nursed her down in there. Then I would join her after her first waking and stay there the rest of the night.

    I am not speaking about your husband, but mine - my children only have a short time to be a baby. It was my husband's turn to suck it up and STOP being a baby. So what if I wasn't there when he wakes up? At least everyone is getting enough sleep and the actual BABY isn't the one waking up wondering where mommy is. Lilah's sleep really improved when I stopped moving her around.

    The good thing is that with the second baby, husbands seem to understand the deal and see that babies are only babies for a tiny time. My second baby coslept with us full time until 10 months when she moved into the guest room, which is now her room. And I'm doing the same thing with her. Nurse her down and then join her upon first wake up. It's working out pretty well. Of course, I love cosleeping and have no intentions to wean anytime soon, so take what I say for what it's worth to you.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  9. #9

    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    Hey there -
    We used a sleep consultant at one point: http://sleepdoctorevans.wordpress.com/
    She was both BF-friendly and OK with CIO, which seems to be an unusual combo. Maybe check out her blog.
    Good luck!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: 10 month issues: Sleeping, Pumping, Allergies, Solids

    edited.

    I checked out the website. I wonder if the reason she couldn't continue nursing without formula is because she sleep trained her baby so early to sleep so long without nursing?
    Last edited by @llli*mommy2lilah; March 28th, 2012 at 03:31 PM.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

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