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Thread: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    I did end up quitting my FT job and not working, and I'm a doc too, because of this I work just very PT as a result. There may be various permutations you could examine that work for your family now
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  2. #12

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    Aww, mama - I know just how you feel... I was so depressed at having to go back to work and be away from my daughter that I was in counseling and my psychologist wouldn't let me go back before 12 weeks because I was such a wreck... It took a while for me to relax and be able to concentrate at work. Even now there are times when all I want to do is be home with my baby...my 18 month old baby...

    I know I can't make it easier for you, but one thing that helped me was reminding myself that I have to provide for her future. On one income, I wouldn't be putting any money away for her education or my retirement and I could windup burdening her with student loans or taking care of me in the future. I just couldn't really live with that idea...

    Hang in there, mama! You'll do what's best for your baby girl!
    Marley & Emily 9-24-10
    (Done as of 5-23-12)

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    205

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    Thank you all again for the support and commiseration. I'm just trying to make the best of the last few days I have home with her and will be sure to cherish each moment I do have home with her in the morning, evening and night. Wish we could work out some of the variables to allow me to stay home, but we can't so it will be fine. Again, thanks, it is good to know others have been through this.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    171

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    oh mama I'm so sorry! I totally understand how you feel though...DH & I both work and my DD went to daycare at 9 weeks old. We were all crying the first morning that DH left to take her to d/c

    I just found this thread and I know it's been a couple weeks, but I'm just wondering how things are going for you? I'm sure it's still tough, but it does get easier, especially knowing how excited your LO is when you get home! Hang in there
    DD, 7-2-2011, "Little Owl" nursed for 21 months

    DS, 10-10-2013, "Mr. Man" EBF and going strong

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    205

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    Here's an update.
    Last week I was back 3 days. This week I'm in M, W, F. She still isn't taking the bottle. She is brought to me @noon to eat and I pump once in the morn and one in the afternoon. Right now we are attempting to give her the freshest milk in bottles, but she has only gotten a sip or two. It was so painful to go back that first week, but I think it will get better. There were times at work where I was busy enough to have the anxiety drop down to the background rather than being all consuming. While I'm away she mostly sleeps though she does cry to eat then in anger at the bottle a couple of times in morn and again in the afternoon. It will make me feel a lot better once she takes one of the dozen or so bottles we've tried. We're going to keep trying.

    One of the things I couldn't see due to the anxiety was that I will get to see her each day. I'm not with her all day, but when I was anticipating going back and being really worried about it I think I couldn't comprehend the fact that I would see her each day. It sounds silly because obviously I knew that I would come home at the end of the day, but one minute away felt like forever. It's like I didn't have object permanence, I felt like if I let her out of my sight she might disappear. When she hits that stage of separation anxiety I will really be able to sympathize.

    Thanks again for all your support. And please send us some good wishes for her taking a bottle.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    256

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    Mama, I'm glad you are doing well and adjusting. And I hope she gives in and takes the bottle! I'm sure you've tried different kinds. My DD prefers Tommee Tippee. Keep us posted!
    Lisa

    Mom to Aimee, born 8/22/11
    for 20 months!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    171

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    It will get easier...certain things like housework & cooking become less important so that you can get in all the cuddles you need while you're at home She will adjust, and so will you, just might take some time.

    FWIW, we like the Playtex VentAir Wide bottles (wider to be more like a breast I think) w/slow flow nipples. It was the first one we tried & she took it fine, so that's all we ever used. I hope you find what works for you soon!
    DD, 7-2-2011, "Little Owl" nursed for 21 months

    DS, 10-10-2013, "Mr. Man" EBF and going strong

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Southern NM
    Posts
    712

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    It took my niece over a week to start taking a bottle, and her mom was working full time and couldn't come and nurse. But she finally did--and then took them fine. (She is 14 now and every time my SIL tells the story the amount of weight my niece lost goes up )

    To be honest we used the cheap Walmart bottles; but he started at 6 weeks when they are more likely to take bottles quickly.

    It is a relief when you see that you can get back together with them.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Miami, Fl
    Posts
    268

    Default Re: Anxiety and Depression about having to go back

    I too went back to work when my previous son was 10 weeks old. It was the hardest thing ever, even knowing that he was well taken care of by my stepmother. It does get better as the days go by and you will have plenty of time to enjoy and bond with the baby. I nursed at every opportunity and co-sleep. Hated pumping, but knew it was to provide my son with the best nutrition. This time around, once again, had to come back to work when he was 10 weeks old, and as the main bread winner in my house, I had no other choice. It is easier with this baby, because I know that it can be done.

    As far as the bottle feeding... I never tried to bottle feed them prior to going back to work. The first time they both drank from a bottle was the day I went back to work. My previous son did very well on the playtex drop ins. With my current son, I decided to use the Ameda bottles (I have the pump) and Dr. Brown's nipple (preemie) size...which was recommended by a mommy from my local support group; the flow is slower to prevent overfeeding. I never had any problems, nor nipple confusion (which is usually in the first 2 weeks of birth). This time around I was given the option of working part-time for 2 weeks and then full-time. it REALLY helped and made a HUGE difference for me. Will your DH be able to take baby to your work? it may help and avoid having to pump. Also with the new technology, I have videos of my son on my phone and I've recorded him while nursing so that I can listen to his breathing and sucking as I am pumping...Iphone??? do FACETIME to see baby while pumping!
    Working mommy to Cat, Nikki, Brandon and baby Lucas
    exclusively for the second time!
    we made it 21 months with previous son and 9 months and counting with Lucas

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