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Thread: Rant About Demand Feeding

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    I need a shower, desperately. So I nursed DD3, made sure she fell asleep and put her down. The girls were eating lunch, I told DH I was going for my shower. I heard DD3 start up when I was getting in but figured DH could handle it.

    I got out of the shower and I hear DD3 losing it. I go downstairs and DH is holding DD3 with a scowl on his face. He's not looking at her, not talking to her...nothing. Really??? C'mon now.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    14

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    Dude!!! It's like you jumped in my head!!

    To add, it really chaps my hide, too, when one month old DS3 is crying hysterically bc he's in a swing or something and dh has to hold him instead of playing on his iPad or what not and his comment is, he cries and stops when he's picked up bc you hold him too much and he's spoiled...

    No you ding bat, that's NOT it and if you knew anything about being a newborn animal in the wild, you'd know that young seek out comfort from their parent to save their asses from being eaten and to feel safe. USE YOUR BRAIN!
    Joanie, SAH Mama to Rose (3 yo), Elijah (1 yo) and Teddy (born 2/18/12)


  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    Oh and I also get, I don't remember our other kids being this clingy!

    Really, dh?? That could be bc of two reasons only: a. You have selective memory or dementia and/or b. that's bc *i* was the one who did the comforting the majority of the time!!!!

    Ok, that feels really good to get that out. I almost lost my **** yesterday over this.
    Joanie, SAH Mama to Rose (3 yo), Elijah (1 yo) and Teddy (born 2/18/12)


  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,471

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    Well, experienced dads (or other parenting partners) should know better, but I bet some really just don't know what to do. I know I had no idea how to comfort a fussy baby with my first and my husband who has 7 younger siblings had to show me. Here is a nice article for tips for taking care of baby when you are NOT the nursing parent: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    14

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    Well, experienced dads (or other parenting partners) should know better, but I bet some really just don't know what to do. I know I had no idea how to comfort a fussy baby with my first and my husband who has 7 younger siblings had to show me. Here is a nice article for tips for taking care of baby when you are NOT the nursing parent: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf
    First time husbands/partners totally get a pass. Third timers in less than four years like mine, lol? Not so much.
    Joanie, SAH Mama to Rose (3 yo), Elijah (1 yo) and Teddy (born 2/18/12)


  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,471

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    ^ yes in that case maybe it's time to threaten to go to bottles and formula and a 50/50 feeding/comforting/baby care split. Probably hard to make that threat believable, however....

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    ^ yes in that case maybe it's time to threaten to go to bottles and formula and a 50/50 feeding/comforting/baby care split. Probably hard to make that threat believable, however....
    Funny you say that bc that was the case with the first two. he forgets how good he has it now that I'm the sole baby feeder. :-D I should remind him...
    Joanie, SAH Mama to Rose (3 yo), Elijah (1 yo) and Teddy (born 2/18/12)


  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Limbo
    Posts
    594

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    I feel for ya, and it's exactly why I was such a wreck when DH was excited about a third baby while I was all.

    What I find interesting, is that at least for me, when I'm actually inaccessible and he is TRULY the only source of comfort, he steps up. It takes mental courage and a lot of trust to take the leap, but maybe go for a walk with the other two, and let him have some time to focus on getting a pattern down with DD3? I know you need a break from it all, but maybe a chance to figure out how to calm DD3 would help him when he does need to watch all three and you could then ACTUALLY have a break with a bit of relaxation instead of wondering whether or not your child is being emotionally ignored.

    However, I hate that deadpan stare while the baby is crying.... I want to (and probably have) shout "SO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!! you know how to handle this, and being a stubborn jerk is NOT going to comfort anyone." Grrrrr, DH.
    Last edited by @llli*aphimama; March 24th, 2012 at 01:08 PM.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: Rant About Demand Feeding

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*ittookthree View Post
    First time husbands/partners totally get a pass. Third timers in less than four years like mine, lol? Not so much.
    Exactly. My 3 are 40 months apart. How to do this is crystal clear in your memory dude.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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