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Thread: Pressure to Stop Nursing

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    S.C.
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    The advice has been so helpful...in fact just knowing there are other moms who continue to nurse into toddlerhood is a help. I absolutely needed some reality testing from nursing moms, not just outside observers/commentators. I feel like self-weaning is the most natural and less traumatic way to go, for both of us! Jesse is now 16 months old and he is going stronger than ever.

  2. #12

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*brooke.guthrie View Post
    I have been feeling pressure to stop nursing (from some family, friends, and well society in general) and wondered if anyone else is - and how ya'll are handling it? I nursed my daughter until 2 y/o and my son is 16 mos. and going strong. In fact my son has NO desire to stop nursing and pitches a fit if I even appear to be with holding the breast. I could use some advice and support.
    I know exactly how you feel. My 29mo is still BF and I am feeling a lot of pressure to give up by my family, society etc. I'm dealing with it by interacting with my local LLL group and by reading stories on various internet forums from other inspiring mothers who have BF up to my stage and beyond. Keep up the good work and don't let the haters win :-) xxx

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    264

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    My son is almost 3 and still nursing. I am very thanful that my husband is very supportive of extended nursing. I have been pressured by my family and had looks and comments from friends. I refuse to give in on something I know is right! Still, I can say that around age 2 I had had enough and decided to put some limits on nursing. We stopped nursing in public, at other family members homes ( my family lives close so it only ends up being a couple hours when we visit). We nurse anytime he wants at home. On his own, he started asking to go to rest in his room if we had company so that was easy. Nobody knew and if he falls down or something when we are out and he asks for "milk", nobody knows. No it is much easier even though I'm kind of a coward and a closet nurser. I don't lie but only my grandmother has actually ask if he is still nursing. Everyone else just assumes he is done. I jus got to the point where the Question "he isn't still nursing is he???" started evry family dinner or conversation and I was getting nasty about it which cause some tension. Wether my solution was good or not, it really has worked for us.


    my name is Sarah mother to
    Alana 12/31/98
    Conner 5/30/09

    Breastfeeding 3 years and counting!

    Potty trained at 2 but kind of miss those cute CD's!

    "Of all the rights of women, the greastest is to be a mother." Lin Yutang

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    88

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    A lot of my husband's friends have been mentioning to him that their kids are always getting sick. My husband tells them that our LO has only been sick once and it's most likely because he's still nursing. They definitely see the benefits if extended nursing and my husband feels lucky not to have a sick LO. Don't make your life harder to please people who are misinformed.
    DS was born June - 2010
    and with lots of help and support from my hubby
    Ready to pump wean!!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Kent, OH
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    I recently had a conversation about it with a mom of a 2 MO who had previously nursed 2 of her older kiddos until 13-14 months, as well as another mommy with a 3 YO and an YO that had been nursed as long. When I suggested that I might let LO (who will be one on Wednesday) self-wean, they really irritated me. The one momma said "I just think that's wierd. I mean, they can drink whole milk, and they can drink from a cup... it's just wierd". I responed "You realize that the only reason you think it's wierd is because our society has sexualized the breast so much and made it taboo to nurse. She responded "Oh, I don't think it's that. I just think it's strange". Then, to make matters worse, the new mama chimed in and said "That's why I bought a pump so that I can express and give her bottles when I know nursing her makes other people uncomfortable...." SMH... it's so sad to me that not only do I have to battle society in general, but now even OTHER nursing MAMA's!!! UGH! Sometimes I wanna move to a remote region in Africa..... Thank goodness at least her DH chimed in and said, "Yes, dear, they can drink whole milk and drink from a cup, but that is not as good as mama's milk". Sort of diffused the situation a bit. I even brought up that WHO and APA reccommend nursing until 2 YO, and it was like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.... **sigh** guess I will be sneaking off to my car to nurse
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*buttonbearsmama View Post
    A lot of my husband's friends have been mentioning to him that their kids are always getting sick. My husband tells them that our LO has only been sick once and it's most likely because he's still nursing. They definitely see the benefits if extended nursing and my husband feels lucky not to have a sick LO. Don't make your life harder to please people who are misinformed.
    Full time working mama to a precious
    Due date was 05/02/2011 - born 04/04/2011 at 36 weeks exactly.
    and 14 months and still going strong

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    429

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*rdh2378 View Post
    I recently had a conversation about it with a mom of a 2 MO who had previously nursed 2 of her older kiddos until 13-14 months, as well as another mommy with a 3 YO and an YO that had been nursed as long. When I suggested that I might let LO (who will be one on Wednesday) self-wean, they really irritated me. The one momma said "I just think that's wierd. I mean, they can drink whole milk, and they can drink from a cup... it's just wierd". I responed "You realize that the only reason you think it's wierd is because our society has sexualized the breast so much and made it taboo to nurse. She responded "Oh, I don't think it's that. I just think it's strange". Then, to make matters worse, the new mama chimed in and said "That's why I bought a pump so that I can express and give her bottles when I know nursing her makes other people uncomfortable...." SMH... it's so sad to me that not only do I have to battle society in general, but now even OTHER nursing MAMA's!!! UGH! Sometimes I wanna move to a remote region in Africa..... Thank goodness at least her DH chimed in and said, "Yes, dear, they can drink whole milk and drink from a cup, but that is not as good as mama's milk". Sort of diffused the situation a bit. I even brought up that WHO and APA reccommend nursing until 2 YO, and it was like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.... **sigh** guess I will be sneaking off to my car to nurse
    Sheesh that is crazy! Pumping and giving bottles just to not make others uncomfortable. That's just silly! It's other people's fault if they feel uncomfortable. They can look away! Breastfeeding is the most natural thing out there. I agree sometimes it would be easier to be in a place where BFing is seen as the NORM and encouraged more. Sheesh. My brother lived with Hatians for a couple years and he says it was completely normal to see even upwards of a six year old still asking for the breast somtimes and that NONE of the kids weaned before 2. Even my mom who is extremely supportive of breastfeeding has a bit of a hard time with extended BFing. I told her I plan on nursing A2 until she is good and ready to stop and she said, "But you won't go up to 2 years will you? That's just a little strange..." Grrrrrr
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,417

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    The one momma said "I just think that's wierd. I mean, they can drink whole milk, and they can drink from a cup... it's just wierd".
    It is funny. It's weird for a human child to drink human milk from the source, but not weird for a child to drink the breastmilk from a cow? My kids drink cows milk as do I, but I do still think it's pretty weird. If it makes sense to give a human child cow milk, what about giving a calf human milk?

    I can say that 'going against the flow' on nursing has helped me develop what I call the my momma bear backbone. There may be many times in your parenting years you choose something for you child(ren) that others find "weird." I have certainly had that experience with friends-good friends! reacting negatively about our choices about education, sports, media, diet, discipline techniques, even clothing and haircuts! At some point I learned to trust myself and say to heck with what others who have no say or investment in my parenting choices think. I just laugh it off at this point!

  8. #18

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    I just wanted to say that I've found this thread so reassuring. My LO will be 1 in a couple weeks and I plan to keep nursing him. I've never set or vocalized an end goal. I always planned to BF for a year, and now that I'm here, I don't want to stop. It's going well, my son loves it and I know it's the right thing for us. BUT because he's turning 1 and I'm going back to work, I feel like the general assumption by most people is that I will wean him now. No one has actually said anything to me & I'm not looking forward to anyone asking me, but I will tell the truth because in my heart I feel like its right. And anyone who thinks its weird or wrong or gross has their own hang-ups that I don't want to influence when I end this relationship with my son. I just have to keep reminding myself of it whenever I feel pressured or judged.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    175

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    I agree with the PP. I have been struggling with criticism lately (most recently from my mother, saying that if I don't wean immediately that my 19-month old twins will never wean on their own down the line) and it's been too easy to get down. I trust my judgment and my DH is very supportive, but.... Yeah. The criticism gets hard to handle sometimes.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    I can say that 'going against the flow' on nursing has helped me develop what I call the my momma bear backbone. There may be many times in your parenting years you choose something for you child(ren) that others find "weird." I have certainly had that experience with friends-good friends! reacting negatively about our choices about education, sports, media, diet, discipline techniques, even clothing and haircuts! At some point I learned to trust myself and say to heck with what others who have no say or investment in my parenting choices think. I just laugh it off at this point!
    So glad to see someone say that! That is how I feel every day. I'm really glad to have this forum where I can (so much so) feel that I'm not alone!
    Mom to amazing twins!
    DD nursed for 3y5m, DS still occasionally stops by for a snack

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    429

    Default Re: Pressure to Stop Nursing

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*nicola View Post
    I have been struggling with criticism lately (most recently from my mother, saying that if I don't wean immediately that my 19-month old twins will never wean on their own down the line) and it's been too easy to get down.
    what does she think, they are still going to be nursing when they leave for college? I mean really. I'm sorry. You just keep nursing them until you are good and ready to stop
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

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