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Thread: How to lie to your pediatrician

  1. #11
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    My old dr used to do that and I think for the same reason, just to be able to write it down.
    My new one doesn't even ask. He just looks at my son and says "he looks great!"
    I used to tell them "every few hours or so...it's hard for me to keep track looking after my other one too."
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  2. #12
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    If the answer is "we want to be sure the baby is nursing enough," then that's okay. Maybe your ped is being cautious and making sure your baby isn't being scheduled into starvation. But if the answer is "well, a baby should only nurse x times a day" or "nursing that often means you have a supply problem" then you've learned something important about the office and you can choose to educate them or to take your money and run to a better practice.
    Such a great point! It would give you some great insight.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  3. #13
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    my (ex)ped did this at 4 months also. i replied that i didn't have any idea how long or how many times, that he ate when he was hungry, etc. she pestered me with questions, asking me: is it 15 mins? is it 30 mins? etc. i always replied, oh, i guess, sometimes! finally she talked herself into some concrete answer she could write down in the chart. then she told me to start him on cereal or if we were really set on no cereal, he MUST be on iron drops. i asked why, since the AAP recommended nothing til 6 months. she said, well, he's really big. (90th%ile length & weight). i said, what does being big have to do with it? she said, well, you know, big babies ....

    we never went back. found a family practice doc who asked me at 9 months how many times he nursed at night. i said i didn't really know, he slept and i half-slept through it. she said, then you're doing it right!

  4. #14
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    Honestly if you are getting a strange vibe from your pediatrician I would start looking for another one. I tried sticking it out with one because of our HMO and because I didn't want to change things up too much in the first year. That was a mistake. I finally got to the point where I lied to him to make him shut up. (He was hounding me about sleep training. So I said YES she sleeps through the night.) After I got home I realized that our relationship was beyond reconciliation. One should never feel inclined to lie to a doctor it is very dangerous. This is a relationship that should foster trust since the information conveyed could affect the quality of ones life. I thought I could pick and choose about the information I received from him but it is really an all or nothing kind of deal.

    But IF you want to give it another shot with the pediatrician I wouldn't lie. I would definitely ask WHY his insistence is so important instead of just making up stuff.
    being a SAHM to DD born 12/09

  5. #15
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    You could ask "how often should he be eating?" and then when they tell you say "yeah, that sounds about right." But I'd be interested in what they say, since of course a 'normal" healthy eating pattern for exclusively nursing 4 month olds is going to be all over the map. And the average mom who is cue feeding is not going to be able to answer that question with any specificity-there is no reason she should. And frankly, they should KNOW that. To me it borders on malpractice when a pediatrician and /or their nurses do not understand normal breastfeeding.

    You may not have the time or patience for this, which I totally get, but I think it would not hurt to ask them WHY they need to know. Your baby is obviously healthy and gaining very well, so there is no medical reason I can see to be charting exactly how much and how long the baby is nursing at 4 months! I am curious why they need this info, I don't recall ever being asked this by our pediatrician. I guess I am saying, you could make up a number to make them happy and make life easier for yourself, or you could chose to educate them a little. Because the next mom who comes in and whose baby, perhaps, is nursing a long time or very frequently, and maybe not growing so dramatically, and they could look at your number and say to her "well you SHOULD only need to be nursing such and such..."

    I am glad the nurses are breastfeeding supportive but they also (imo) should have a solid basic understanding of breastfeeding as well. It kind of makes me sad they are 'excited' that your baby is a healthy weight being breastfed. It’s almost as if they are surprised. I wonder how many 4 month old entirely breastfed babies they see, and how many perfectly healthy babies have been put on supplements because someone thought they were not big enough.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    If the answer is "we want to be sure the baby is nursing enough," then that's okay. Maybe your ped is being cautious and making sure your baby isn't being scheduled into starvation. But if the answer is "well, a baby should only nurse x times a day" or "nursing that often means you have a supply problem" then you've learned something important about the office and you can choose to educate them or to take your money and run to a better practice.
    I don't think they're worried about his weight, they ask me these questions after they have him on the scale, and see that he's enormous, smiling and clearly healthy. I don't think they are thinking anything one way or the other regarding schedules, these nurses are just doing their ritual. Why it's the ritual is a good question. And I'll ask. If I go back. I do worry about just making up a number that then they would end up using as some statistic for future moms coming in. My problem is mainly with the nurses (who I agree should have a better understanding of breastfeeding, but despite having a BS in biology myself and a IBCLC for a mom, and being backed by scientific evidence, people don't seem to be swayed by what I say). When the dr comes in, she says nothing of the sort. In fact, this time she said, "finally a breastfed baby who looks like a breastfed baby!" so I suspect there is some cultural thing going on. I imagine that perhaps not that many people here are exclusively breastfeeding, I see a lot of gigantic bottles of formula out and about, (though perhaps they are ebm, so I shouldn't assume). If I ever make it to a local LLL meeting, I'll ask other moms if they have any favorites as far as doctors go. I dislike all doctors I've ever been to, barring maybe one, so it's hard for me to choose between the lesser of all the evils.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lovepickles View Post
    Honestly if you are getting a strange vibe from your pediatrician I would start looking for another one. I tried sticking it out with one because of our HMO and because I didn't want to change things up too much in the first year. That was a mistake. I finally got to the point where I lied to him to make him shut up. (He was hounding me about sleep training. So I said YES she sleeps through the night.) After I got home I realized that our relationship was beyond reconciliation. One should never feel inclined to lie to a doctor it is very dangerous. This is a relationship that should foster trust since the information conveyed could affect the quality of ones life. I thought I could pick and choose about the information I received from him but it is really an all or nothing kind of deal.

    But IF you want to give it another shot with the pediatrician I wouldn't lie. I would definitely ask WHY his insistence is so important instead of just making up stuff.
    I just am not entirely sure that's not the case for all doctors for me, I always end up picking and choosing information. I'm very stubborn about just doing what I'm going to do anyway, but I guess it would be better to find someone great in case DS gets sick, or I actually need advice.

    Oh yeah, and amysmom, that sounds like a pretty cool app! But alas, my phone is not in the gifted and talented program, it's just scraping by with the calling and texting functions, and sometimes failing at that. ;P I know it's pathetic, but I'd forget to plug it in anyway.

  6. #16
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*rakoonz View Post
    Oh yeah, and amysmom, that sounds like a pretty cool app! But alas, my phone is not in the gifted and talented program, it's just scraping by with the calling and texting functions, and sometimes failing at that. ;P I know it's pathetic, but I'd forget to plug it in anyway.
    Oh no worries. I only just got my first 'smart phone' 3 months ago. I was bound and determined that "all I need is a phone ". But my phone died, I needed a new one, they gave me a deal, blah blah blah. I guess my point was that if you were so inclined, you could track it for a day or two in order to give them an accurate answer. I really wish we all weren't in such a defensive mode when it came to our doctors. It's supposed to be a partnership.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  7. #17
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    BTW, I am not surprised when pediatric nurses, doctors, ob's, etc. don't know squat about breastfeeding. That's unfortunately typical. And I know it is unlikely they will listen to ONE mom. But maybe you are not the only one, kwim? Change happens when enough people demand it. IMO it sucks that it falls to moms dealing with squirming babies in arms, or who have just given birth, or who are in the midst of giving birth, to have to advocate for themselves and in turn for every other breastfeeding mom, but...it does. That is how change happens. Also it sounds like your doctor does not care about these questions so much so maybe you could explain to her that you find that line of questioning difficult. For you such questions are just a hassle, for another mom with less knowledge and confidence, they could be undermining.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    I don't see what the big deal is if they are simply collecting data. That is one of the best ways to educate one's self - collect and analyze data - is it not? I would actually have far less confidence in my doctor if he based his opinions entirely on anecdotal evidence from a handful of his patients. I can certainly see how it could be a little annoying, but I don't see why would indicate that the doctors or nurses at the practice are uneducated or doing something wrong. Of course if they are making assumptions or giving unsolicited parenting advice based on your answers to their questions, then there would be a big problem in my opinion.

    But if it's just data collection, then I would go ahead and give them my best estimate so they can compile their data set. When my baby was little and our pediatrician would ask those questions (we are at a teaching & research hospital, so there is a valid point to gathering these kinds of data) I would give them a range and my best estimate of the average with any caveats - so something like "anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes, but more frequently on the shorter side so probably 8 minutes on average. It's really variable, so I'm not sure how accurate that is." I don't think you need a smart phone app to get at this. Just glance at the clock for just a couple feeds and take a guess based on that.

    I wouldn't lie to my doctor. I would just give my best guess if he just wants numbers for his records, or I would find a new doctor if he was asking in order to pester me about how I parent my child.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    For sure go to LLL meetings, so far I have found the best drs I have ever had through these women! I've had some doozies too! But, since going to LLL and asking for reccomendations, I have found awesome drs I love!

    ~Heather~
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    Raphael 2011 Nursing like a champ
    Raphael & Hubs

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  10. #20
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    Default Re: How to lie to your pediatrician

    I don't see what the big deal is if they are simply collecting data. That is one of the best ways to educate one's self - collect and analyze data - is it not? I would actually have far less confidence in my doctor if he based his opinions entirely on anecdotal evidence from a handful of his patients. I can certainly see how it could be a little annoying, but I don't see why would indicate that the doctors or nurses at the practice are uneducated or doing something wrong.
    But that is exactly what a doctor would be doing, if he or she was basing their assumptions about feeding frequency on what their patient's moms tell them. Even if they got a completely accurate count from every single mother they asked, (unlikely) it would still be a very small and geographically and perhaps a socially limited sample. Also they would need to differentiate between exclusively breastfeeding, combo feeding, and formula feeding infants. And they don't NEED to extrapolate anything from their patient’s reports, as this type of research has already been done over decades by others and that research indicates that normal feeding frequencies can vary a great deal especially in the later months, and that cue feeding rather than sceduled feedings allows babies to get enough while keeping milk supply approprate. We also know that an exclusively breastfed baby of four months old who is gaining well is nursing enough.

    I have no issue with the question being asked, my point was it would be interesting to find out WHY it was being asked. If it is part of some larger study about breastfeeding, cool! I am all for more properly collected data. But somehow I doubt that. I have no idea why they need the info and what they do with it, I can only imagine-so I did. Also, the poster reported getting 'strange looks' when she could not answer the question specifically enough to satisfy. IMO, getting strange looks from medical professionals about a breastfeeding issue is quite enough to undermine a mom who is already being undermined all over society about her ability to breastfeed and the wisdom of exclusively breastfeeding.

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