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Thread: Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Daddy

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    183

    Default Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Daddy

    So, we're in the process of helping LO sleep longer at night (and in his own crib, not cosleeping anymore ). We've been trying the Pantley method (well, kinda!), and so far, it seems to be working great. I'm not looking to night wean entirely, but I would like to get him down to nursing every 3-4 hrs (or longer stretches) at night, vs. the 1.5-2 hr stretches. So, we're not sure how to involve DH in the process; he's an accomplished uncle and is great with kids, but hasn't really been around BF babies so he's more used to the FF baby "sleep with a bottle" fathering/uncle-ing method.

    I've been nursing LO down, unlatching him (yay, he unlatched HIMSELF last night consistently), and laying him in the crib. This seems to work well. Since we EC, I'm also pottying him as the need arises at night (before/during nursing). He's pretty consistently dry through the night. Right now I've got the night shift entirely, b/c LO is still needing to nurse in order to settle himself back down for sleep when he wakes. And I'm trying to help him learn other methods of falling asleep -- but I would LOVE ideas and thoughts on ways to get DH involved so that he doesn't feel like he's being handed a ticking time bomb that can only be diffused by having boobs and nursing. LO, when he is tired, wants his mama and wants to nurse. That's the way we've done things so far... and I'm willing to work on changing his sleep associations so that DH (or another caregiver) can help LO to sleep.

    Thoughts?
    3/2011 {EBF to 6mos, now BF and BLS, CD, EC'ing since 5mos - in underwear at 11mos, and babywearing}
    Babywearing International has chapters - see if there's one near you... most have lending libraries!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    271

    Default Re: Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Dad

    This is just an idea, if you want to try it: Does your DH help with your LO's naps at all? That might be a way to start-- with rocking, singing and patting, or something else that DH and your LO are comfortable doing. Then, when they've found their groove, DH could do the same at night for your LO, and your LO would already be used to going to sleep that way with your DH. It might take a while, and there will most likely be some crying involved. But it would help DH be involved more.

    Good luck!
    Mom to a spirited DS1, born 2/21/2011, and DS2, born 7/3/2014.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Dad

    pacifier? i only had 2 night feedings to wean from, my husband would go in. reinsert his pacifier and rock him. i had my ds2 compeltely night weaned by 11 months. the last one was hard for him to give up, we did have 2-3 nights of crying in between going in and rocking him. i felt comfortable letting him cry some b/c even when i went in to rock him he didn't try going for the boob so i knew he wasn't hungry.
    mom to ds daniel 12/16/09 and ben 2/27/11

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Middle of nowhere in Ohio
    Posts
    121

    Default Re: Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Dad

    I would have your husband help putting him down at night after you nurse him. Feed him and then take a bath or read a book or something so your lo doesn't see you. Another thing that worked for me was not getting up as soon as my son would cry. Sometimes it took a couple min and he was back asleep. I could always tell when he was really wanting someone or just woke up from sleeping and just needed to get comfortable again.
    Passed my CLC exam!

    Mother of 3: 12-25-04 12-3-07 1-13-2011

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Dad

    Thanks for the ideas. I think we'll try naptime and the post-nursing in bedtime routine... LO doesn't use pacis so that's not gonna fly .

    Interesting part is incorporating pottying into this. LO just woke up, was upset + needed to pee and DH couldn't get him to relax enough to go in the potty. Nursing calmed him down, then he peed, and was good. Go figure....sigh.
    3/2011 {EBF to 6mos, now BF and BLS, CD, EC'ing since 5mos - in underwear at 11mos, and babywearing}
    Babywearing International has chapters - see if there's one near you... most have lending libraries!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    52

    Default Re: Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Dad

    Just checking in to see what has worked. We're going through the same thing over here...trying to get DH more involved.
    Mom to TRH born 2/16/11 - 8lbs 7oz., 21in.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    183

    Default Re: Ways of Nurturing/Comforting for Dad

    Nothing you'd call success yet. We've had some luck distracting LO with the kitties and the piano...but those aren't really helpful for nighttime. I have a friend who was able to get DH to put LO down for the night (1st time) -- and then she takes the rest of the wakings. Maybe that is a good compromise to start.
    3/2011 {EBF to 6mos, now BF and BLS, CD, EC'ing since 5mos - in underwear at 11mos, and babywearing}
    Babywearing International has chapters - see if there's one near you... most have lending libraries!

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