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Thread: feeling guilty...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    73

    Default feeling guilty...

    Hey ya'll...I'm feeling guilty...Last week I was feeling particularly exhausted and under the weather and needed more sleep. For a few nights when my son woke for his 11:30pm feeding my husband went in to soothe him to sleep. We discussed this together and agreed it was the right decision since he was nursing well through out the day with the addition of meats/veggies/fruits. He has also begun eating a healthy dinner with protein and veggies plus a big nursing an hour before and after dinner. Anyway he stopped waking at that time for a bunch of nights but has begun again and I'm debating between having my husband go in or going in myself to nurse him. I love nursing him but i go to bed around 10 so getting up an hour and a half later and again at 4/5am is soooo tiring! If my husband puts him back to sleep he wont wake again till sometime between 5-6am. Am i a bad mom if i have hubby soothe him back down? wouldnt he wake up soon after if he was truly hungry? I do believe that night-time parenting is important but he is such an active and playful baby through out the day and i have NO energy unless i get a lot of rest (i.e. 10-5)....I should add he is 8 months old and is doing amazingly in weight gain/diaper output/milestones...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Northern CA
    Posts
    545

    Default Re: feeling guilty...

    How does he do when your husband tries to soothe him? If he calms down right away and falls back asleep quickly, then I see nothing wrong with you trying to get more sleep. Sleep is important, and I know I am a better mom (ie: more patient, engaging, active, etc...) when I've slept well.

    On the other hand, if he cries more and acts really upset when your DH goes to him, then he may not be ready for night weaning yet. If this is the case, then you may want to continue to nurse on demand though the night.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,571

    Default Re: feeling guilty...

    I wish I had your "problem" wakings. My 13.5 month old wakes up every three hours or more frequently.

    However, I do think if he's easily soothed by your DH then it's probably fine. Alternatively, you could nurse him right before you go to bed at 10 pm. He's a little young for night-weaning and he may be going through a growth spurt.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    73

    Default Re: feeling guilty...

    If he fusses when my hubby goes in sometimes my husband just kisses him and settles him back down and within a few minutes he is asleep...but if he starts to whine or cry I will go right in to nurse him...usually this is when he is having a bit of a growth spurt or has been teething. The issue is that sometimes when i have gone in at midnight he will awaken every 2-3 hours. I'm all about attachment parenting but DH is a parent too!!! Anyway, I try to always go with my instinct...and lately I have felt guilty because I know he will calm down with DH but he definitely prefers mommy!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,571

    Default Re: feeling guilty...

    If he calms down with daddy then you shouldn't feel guilty!! My kids SCREAM if daddy tries to comfort them at night when they are/were nursing. So that won't work in my house. But if it works for you guys, then do it. And you're right - it is attachment PARENTING and not MOTHERING only.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

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