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Thread: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understanding

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*magnoliahoney View Post
    I too think it's weird when men think this is some of their business. I mean I don't micromanage their relationship with the kids. Sounds so absurdly controlling to me.

    I would also drop it, but if it continued to be brought up, I would say don't worry I promise to wean before he goes to college, I was thinking sometime before his 21st birthday so I don't have to go out with him for his first drink? lol haha

    Yeah my husband always reminds me I'm a smart &&&. lol But, really....I grew up I guess in a time where mamma knew best for baby, and daddy just went to work and took mamma's word for it that she was doing what was best for the kids. I don't understand this new generation I guess where men think they have some sort of say of how a mother, mothers her child...I mean as long as it's not abusive, I just don't get it.

    Thankfully I didn't marry a man who gives a hoot what others think...cause he would be hiding a lot, probably become a recluse married to me cause he would be constantly embarrassed! lol haha

    I don't agree with this. I think both parents have a vested interest in how their JOINT children are parented. It should be a team effort. However when things like parenting to sleep and BF, which are factually healthier and superior to the alternative, are raised, I think the parents need to forget their friends opinion and do what is best for baby...their baby.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    wow, I just can't I guess imagine my husband being that controlling of my body. He's a nice guy I guess.

    I agree parenting is joint on many levels, for instance forms of discipline, and morals we want to teach....but what I do with my body IE breastfeeding and for how long, that part just to me isn't his business, to micromanage.....I don't go to work with him to tell him how to do his job, you know what I mean?

    ~Heather~
    Wife to
    Vincent since 2001
    SAHMommy to
    Lela 2006 EPed 2 1/2 Years
    ~Donavon & Jeremy~ 2009
    Belle 2010 Nursed over a year
    Raphael 2011 Nursing like a champ
    Raphael & Hubs

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  3. #13
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    just different viewpoints regarding roles I guess .

    I do take issue with the " He's a nice guy I guess." the implication that the OP or my DH isn't a nice guy because of his issues with BF is pretty uncalled for I think.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    wow, I just can't I guess imagine my husband being that controlling of my body. He's a nice guy I guess.

    I agree parenting is joint on many levels, for instance forms of discipline, and morals we want to teach....but what I do with my body IE breastfeeding and for how long, that part just to me isn't his business, to micromanage.....When he wants to take the kids to the park, I don't get all upset if they stay longer then I had planned or thought...I trust his judgement that they were having fun and it was a nice day so why not stay longer? I however would not of had children with a man I didn't trust judgement with out me being all up in his kool aid with every detail...I think the same is true of him, he wouldn't of married or had children with a woman he couldn't trust to make the right choices for his children for the time.

    ~Heather~
    Wife to
    Vincent since 2001
    SAHMommy to
    Lela 2006 EPed 2 1/2 Years
    ~Donavon & Jeremy~ 2009
    Belle 2010 Nursed over a year
    Raphael 2011 Nursing like a champ
    Raphael & Hubs

    My Blog
    ~Heather's Prairie~

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    hmm for some reason I edited and made a new post, any way....I think you're picking apart what I am saying way too much....my husband is a nice guy, I would have a really hard time being married to some one who felt the need to control my every move with the children or my body...I am so happy he trust me enough to make those kind of choices how I want. I am glad others can get along with men who are more controlling cause it's good for kids to grow up with mommy and daddy...I just would probably go insane. lol

    ~Heather~
    Wife to
    Vincent since 2001
    SAHMommy to
    Lela 2006 EPed 2 1/2 Years
    ~Donavon & Jeremy~ 2009
    Belle 2010 Nursed over a year
    Raphael 2011 Nursing like a champ
    Raphael & Hubs

    My Blog
    ~Heather's Prairie~

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*magnoliahoney View Post
    hmm for some reason I edited and made a new post, any way....I think you're picking apart what I am saying way too much....my husband is a nice guy, I would have a really hard time being married to some one who felt the need to control my every move with the children or my body...I am so happy he trust me enough to make those kind of choices how I want. I am glad others can get along with men who are more controlling cause it's good for kids to grow up with mommy and daddy...I just would probably go insane. lol
    I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place to say things like this. The OP is asking how to deal with her situation, and this post seems to INSULT her situation. And, others for that matter.

    OP, I agree about sharing the scientific information, and explaining to him how important nursing is to you and your son. I think it's hard for men to fully understand the bond that is created from nursing. Maybe you can find some alone time to discuss things as well, so you have his full attention. Hope you find a solution you can both agree on.
    SAHM to all my boys

    Wyatt 2/23/99
    Isaiah 7/11/00
    Hunter 2/9/10- made it through our dairy allergy!
    and loving from afar, my DSS Kaleb 3/30/97

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    sorry to offend any one, I'm not a psychologist, just another mother talking from my own experience. I think we all are allowed to make our mates aware when they cross lines that we don't want them to. For me, if my husband tried to dictate to me when to wean our children, I would make it clear that was a line he couldn't cross with me...cause that is my choice. The OP is wondering how to deal with her husband....I am saying my own situation, again she didn't go to psychologist for the answer but just other moms. I'm just a mom...and that's how I would deal with it.

    ~Heather~
    Wife to
    Vincent since 2001
    SAHMommy to
    Lela 2006 EPed 2 1/2 Years
    ~Donavon & Jeremy~ 2009
    Belle 2010 Nursed over a year
    Raphael 2011 Nursing like a champ
    Raphael & Hubs

    My Blog
    ~Heather's Prairie~

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*Jenna562 View Post
    I don't agree with this. I think both parents have a vested interest in how their JOINT children are parented. It should be a team effort. However when things like parenting to sleep and BF, which are factually healthier and superior to the alternative, are raised, I think the parents need to forget their friends opinion and do what is best for baby...their baby.
    My son is also my husband's son. He gets equal say in what happens with him. He deferred to me about breastfeeding, with his full support, because I was the one doing it, but we talked about it and it was important to me to make sure he was ok with how things were going, because it was my body in terms of nursing, but the decisions I/we made affected us both.
    Last edited by @llli*mumtothomas; March 7th, 2012 at 03:14 PM.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    :wss it has nothing to do with micromanaging or being distrustful
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Default Re: Nursing past 1 yr, DH not understand

    When my husband and I were talking about it, he didn't ever really mind how long. We knew our son would self-wean. However, it was absolutely a mutual decision to breastfeed. I don't feel like I would have made it without his support. So, I agree with another poster that it's his son also and he should absolutely have a say. So, just be honest with him about why YOU want to continue and why you think your son does also. If it helps, you could bring up that if he were formula fed, he'd still be on toddler formula and likely attached to a bottle. But in a good marriage, he will trust you when you say that your son just isn't ready. It's not hurting anything, helps to calm tantrums, soothe injuries, provide for the gaps in his nutrition and develop confidence and security. Just ask him if he's uncomfortable and why. You've just got to be on the same page as your spouse with parenting or it will start to wear on both of you.

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