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Thread: Support needed :(

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    140

    Default Re: Support needed :(

    My MIL is a pain about this. She always says "can't you just pump?" I'm like "No." I don't even explain why anymore b/c she is just asking to be a turd. It doesn't help that we 'had' to supplement the first bit with expressed breast milk or that I will be returning to work so I am pumping daily. But both her and my husband's whining about it has made it difficult to get a store ready for me to go back. I finally had to just put my foot down and have a heart to heart with my husband about how we all have different roles in taking care of our new son. He is the designated bath giver and tummy time player etc. And everyone else is there to help comfort and play with baby when you need a break but better yet help you with anything that needs to be done that isn't newborn related. My husband realized he was being childish and started helping more and he's taken up for me with his mom too. He also finally explained to me why he wanted it so bad... He was jealous that if need be I could take care of our child 100% but if something happened to me he couldn't do the same and it made him feel like a lousy provider. He is so more old fashioned than he thinks he is. Just hang in there!

    Another thought is when he is spending time with the baby say things like 'oh she loves it when her daddy does X" "look at how happy she is with you". Also, when it comes to the cleaning is saying "thank you for doing X. This breastfeeding thing takes a lot of getting use to and I'm so thankful I have such a supportive husband" I saw this on another post and tried it. It has to be really sincere and only if he hasn't complained right before. But it worked for me. Kill 'em with kindness.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    140

    Default Re: Support needed :(

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sugarfoot289 View Post
    I'm enjoying it though, there are times where she will smile as me while she's eating, it makes the pain forgettable.
    smiles are the best!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sugarfoot289 View Post
    I have to admit that as guilty as I feel at times with my mom, there are other times where it makes me feel good when she smiles and talks to me but then turns around and gets the biggest frown when my mom trys to hold and talk to her. Then I feel guilty about that too
    I feel that way all the time too!

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    419

    Default Re: Support needed :(

    I'm not going to say you will or won't change your mind as time goes on about when to wean, but I will say many women do change their minds. As time goes on those smiles, that bond just gets stronger, and it just gets better and better, for me it's a hard thing to give up! I never thought about when I would wean before my first, but now it's like all I want to do is nurse until they are ready to move on. The early days (what you are in now) is much harder then later stage days. Later stages are just fun nursing!

    That being said I cook for around 20 to 40 people for dinner (we live with my parents too! I have 18 siblings so I help cook as my part of the deal of living here). A few things we have at least monthly are-

    Cream Cheese Chicken Chili (look for it on pintrest), it's done in the crock pot and super super easy.

    Another crock pot recipe, chicken breast, bottle of bbq sauce, apple cider vinegar, brown sugar, onions, a bit of seasonings. Shred when cooked, serve like you would pulled bbq meat-with or with out buns, pasta salad or potato salad (I get pasta salad on the marked down fridge section at the store the night before, usually only 1.00 a container!), baked beans (from a can), collard greens (from a can), super easy dinner. And every one loves it! (look for the recipe on pintrest too).

    Spaghetti at least monthly. Tacos monthly.

    Make it easy foods, try to look for easy crock pot meals it really helps. Roast is a easy one. I like roast if you can buy a super big one, it makes a good pot roast meal the first night-taters, carrots, rolls/bread, etc. Then you can have sandwiches the next day, and beef stew after that, etc etc.

    I also like to get a big ham like at Aldi's, cook it. And cut it into parts. It makes three huge things of soup in the crock pot-cabbage, white beans, and ham, serve with cornbread-jiffy mix is super easy! A average size family would probably make soup 5 times or so. Oh also the ham with split peas, or lentils, is good too!

    I can go on and on....but use the crock pot. In fact I have several so I can use them daily! They really help.

    ~Heather~
    Wife to
    Vincent since 2001
    SAHMommy to
    Lela 2006 EPed 2 1/2 Years
    ~Donavon & Jeremy~ 2009
    Belle 2010 Nursed over a year
    Raphael 2011 Nursing like a champ
    Raphael & Hubs

    My Blog
    ~Heather's Prairie~

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    West Salem, Ohio
    Posts
    176

    Default Re: Support needed :(

    I went on a walk today with my 3 girls and my mom. It was great. The two big girls walked the whole way without complaint and I put the little one in the moby wrap. It was wonderfully refreshing. I sometimes wish that there was a mom around my age nearby that we could hang out with. The few moms I know are working mama's so they have very busy schedules.

    Well gotta go feed miss priss and make some lunch

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    381

    Default Re: Support needed :(

    I want to send some words of encouragement. Being a mom is a hard job. More than a full time job. 3 children to care for is a lot of work.
    Do what you can, do what is most important - feed the children, take care of yourself. Wait to do what is less important (cleaning, errands)
    Try not to stress or put pressure on yourself. Not only may it impact nursing, but your children will sense you are unhappy. Go with the flow.
    If it helps to set breastfeeding goals, then do it. But it may also be helpful to say I am going to breastfeed. period. I am going on 10 months of breastfeeding twins and even in the hospital I didn't know if I would make it 3 months. Now we are approaching a year and I am thinking about continuing.
    Include your other children in helping to care for the baby, making them think it's fun. They may want to fetch diapers and toss them, bring the baby toys, or even entertain baby by talking to them. Family walks, playing together on the floor, snuggling in bed are all things you can do with all the children. Going to a park and letting the little ones run around while you nurse.
    Oh and I forgot-go to www dot meetup dot com and look for local moms/parents groups. You may find other stay at home moms or working moms that you can socialize with. I have met a lot of families through this and highly recommend it.
    Full time working Mom to 3, DH is my hero as a SAHD:
    DS July'09, nursed for 12 weeks
    DD1 & DD2 April'11, tandem nursed for 16 months

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    36

    Default Re: Support needed :(

    sugarfoot, I'm glad you got out and enjoyed our beautiful Ohio spring weather last night! I did too.

    Also... since we're both in Ohio, I'm wondering if you are married to my husband as well. I will echo x 1,000 thanking and complimenting him when he does something. Yeah, of course he's supposed to do that stuff (make dinner on occassion, pick up, clean the mess, etc) anyway. I always tell my husband, who is a firefighter who works 24 hour shifts, that just because he has a "day job" doesn't mean he gets to stop working when he comes home. He still has a "job," only it's to be a husband and father, which means doing everything associated with those roles. So if a compliment will make him do those things without bi^#*ing about it and making me feel guilty, then I'll praise him up and down.

    As for your mom and bonding, try letting her wear the moby with baby. That's a great bonding time! One of my own moms favorite things for bonding is bathtime.

    Also, get a crock-pot and let that meal be dinner as often as possible! Magnoliahoney had great suggestions. Heck, I'll just thrown in a pork loin with some salt and pepper, then throw some BBQ sauce on it 8 hours later and then shred it. Dinner and lunch for 2 days. I also freezer a lot of leftovers for meals later on as well. Then I just thaw it and rewarm it without any "cooking." (Oh and I just love cream cheese chicken in the crock! Too bad my scale doesn't...)

    It sounds like you're doing a great job to me, keep it up!

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