Re: Need to encourage w/o being pushy
Just keep telling her what a fantastic job she's doing. If she complains, take her complaint, rephrase it, and tell her you understand and that she's doing an amazing job. (Her: "Mom, I am so exhausted! I don't know if I can do this!" You: "Oh sweetie, I can see how tired you are. But I am so proud of you. Because even though you are so tired and overwhelmed, you ARE doing it! You're awesome for working so hard and giving your babies the best!" You, for the bonus 50 points: "Now let me make you a cup of tea and you put your feet up.")
Would she like to join the forum? Sometimes it's easier to accept advice from a stranger than it is to take it from your own mom. Especially at 19, when you're still struggling to be an independent person. I bet it's pretty hard for your daughter right now to be dependent on you just when she thought she'd be spreading her wings. And probably pretty hard for you, too, to be supporting a new family when you were expecting a little break from being the pillar of strength!
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"