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Thread: tired and ready to quit please help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    savannah ga
    Posts
    9

    Default tired and ready to quit please help

    my son is only 12 days old and I am already feeling the strain. besides faimly telling me to just formula feed and the docter telling me he is not gaining weight like he is posed to. haveing to feed every two hours not being able to pump hardly anything. plus it seems as soon as I feed him he is hungry again. not to mention if i am not pumping or feeding i am cleaning cooking or working on something or another. i am so tired i dont know what to do please if anyone has and advice on how to handle everything id appricate it

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    do you have other children to care for during the day? why do you have to pump now? are you trying to make a stash? can you just pump one time a day? i know you've probably heard it a million times but sleep when your baby sleeps. don't worry about cleaning your house. everything will fall into place, your primary role is feeding your baby, keeping him clean and giving him lots of love, all the rest is extra. right now you don't have time for extra. hang in there mommy!
    mom to ds daniel 12/16/09 and ben 2/27/11

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Southern NM
    Posts
    712

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    Being a first time mom is hard and tiring whether you are nursing or formula feeding. One thing about nursing is that it will get easier, while with formula feeding you still have to make up bottles, wash bottles, etc. It is tiring when they seem to want to feed all of the time but that really does get better.

    A couple of questions for you: (1) Why are you pumping? At this point you should be putting all of your energies into nursing, and save pumping, if you need to pump, for once your nursing relationship is better established. (2) Did you get IV fluids at birth? That can make your baby's birth weight higher than he might have been otherwise, which means that it seems like your LO isn't gaining weight as he should. The easiest way to judge whether your baby is getting enough milk is to count wet and poopy diapers. This link has info on how many wet and poopy diapers your baby should have and how to judge the diapers.

    At this point your energy should be all in taking care of your baby. Perhaps you can suggest to those family members that are suggesting that you formula feed that they could help you with the cooking, cleaning, etc. It is hard to do, but handling everything might mean letting some things go.

    Another suggestion for the tiredness is cosleeping with your baby and nursing while lying down. As long as your baby is little you need to think about getting your sleep in little bits anywhere you can.

    s. You are in a hard place. But it will get better.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,007

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    oh mama although breastfeeding is natural and best for baby, it certainly isn't easy - especially at first

    Ya know when people get married and they get advice to take a honeymoon? That's what should happen when you have a baby - you need a babymoon. You need 2 weeks at least where you just sit and nurse. Just you and your baby, 24/7. Can you get someone to help you with the other stuff (cooking/cleaning)? These first few weeks are crucial to establishing a good supply.

    And what you're going through is normal mama - we have all been there and it DOES get easier. In time. Breastmilk digest very quickly (about 90 minutes) so if it takes your lo 45 minutes to nurse it makes sense that he will be hungry 45 minutes after he finishes. Nursing every 2 hours or so is to be expected.

    Why are you pumping? Unless you are heading back to work in a week I would stop pumping for now. It's just an added stress. One you don't need unless pumping is absolutely necessary. Settle in and just nurse, nurse, nurse. The first 6 weeks are full of growth spurts and that's pretty demanding on your body.

    Hang in there mama - you are doing the BEST thing for your baby by continuing to nurse him. If you can stick it out a few more weeks I promise you it will get easier. You will find your groove.
    ~Jenn~


    mother of 2 boys!
    08/14/98~~03/20/08

    Birth: 7lbs 12oz, 1 year: 22lbs 11oz
    until he self-weaned 4 days before his third birthday ... still on occasion ... and happily

    ************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
    People need to understand that when they're deciding between breastmilk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available. ~Chele Marmet

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    Put the pump down, make yourself comfortable on the sofa with a remote, a bottle of water and some snacks and NURSE. That is what you are supposed to be doing right now Granted, I cooked dinner when my third child was 12 hours old, but nursing was going well. If you feel like its not, consider this

    How many wets and poops is baby having?

    Don't base it on how full your breasts seem.

    Is baby being weighed on the same scale in the same clothing? Did you have IV fluids? Those two things alone can dramatically influence baby's weight and make it seem like baby is not gaining or is losing.

    You are going to be MORE tired if you use bottles BTDT you can nurse laying down, but you can't bottlefeed laying down
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    429

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    I agree, you don't need to pump. It's just one more thing to do and you don't need to do it. The first few weeks of breastfeeding are usually the hardest. If you can get past the "hump" then it get's much easier. How is your baby's diaper output? What IS your baby's weight gain? Would it possibly help you and your family to read some facts on the benefits of breastfeeding? I know that helped my sister a lot when she almost gave up. (Her son is now 9 months old and still breastfeeding strong ) Don't give up mama! You can do it! We are all here for you!
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    savannah ga
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    i did have fluids during my c section and he came out at 9lbs 10 ozs when we left the hospital to come home he was 8lbs 12 ozs and at his first dr appt was 8lbs 9ozs a few days later he weighed the same. the dr recommened that i pump while nursing him on one breast offer him the other let him take it if he wants while pumping the one he just finnished with and after he is done with both breasts offer him the bottle. he has plenty of poopy diapers but not so many wet ones. but when he does have a wet one it is soaking wet is this normal?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    : I know how you feel. I cried at least once a day for the first month or so until one day it just became easy and I didn't have to think about it. You WILL get there. Don't give up. As for pumping, a lactation consultant gave me a great excerpt from a book and it gave me 32 oz in just a couple weeks. Nurse baby well on one side between 5 & 8 a.m., then pump for 10 minutes and finish feeding baby. Then about an hour after the NEXT feeding (usually between 8 and 10) pump both breasts for a total of about 20 minutes. At first it may only give you a couple ounces in a day, but then you will be getting 3-4 ounces a day! Hope that helps!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*firsttimemommie View Post
    i did have fluids during my c section and he came out at 9lbs 10 ozs when we left the hospital to come home he was 8lbs 12 ozs and at his first dr appt was 8lbs 9ozs a few days later he weighed the same. the dr recommened that i pump while nursing him on one breast offer him the other let him take it if he wants while pumping the one he just finnished with and after he is done with both breasts offer him the bottle. he has plenty of poopy diapers but not so many wet ones. but when he does have a wet one it is soaking wet is this normal?
    How many of these really soaking wet diapers are you seeing in a day? I used to keep a log. I know, crazy, but it can be really reassuring. I would just put a check next to pee or poo (or both) each diaper change.

    With the IV fluids you got during the birth, the baby's weight may have been inflated by water retention and he may not have lost as much as it seems. I would count diapers for a day or two. If you're seeing 6-8 wets in a 24 hour period, that's good, the baby is getting enough to eat. And ignore those family members pushing formula! Tell them you're not interested right now, you'll certainly let them know if you ever are, but for now let's drop the subject!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,611

    Default Re: tired and ready to quit please help

    Often pee "hides" beneath poop, especially in a super-absorbent disposable diaper. If you're having trouble counting pees, try tucking a square or two of tissue paper in front of your baby's penis. When he pees, the paper will be visibly wet.

    How are the poops? What color are they, generally?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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