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Thread: Is it normal for me to feel this way???

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,110

    Default Re: Is it normal for me to feel this way

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jenanay View Post
    I will be honest. My impatient, dramatic, 4 year old son is driving me INSANE! I am crazy about him, but he also drives me crazy at the same time. He was a really hard and fussy baby/toddler. He also nursed constantly. He is still fussy and needy. Since my husband travels for work a lot I have logged way too much overtime with him as well.
    My 3 month old smiles more, baby talks, coos, feeds like a champ. He also sleeps better then my first born, so I can't help but feel a little favoritism.
    Yup, I could have written this same thing! DD1 was an intense baby/toddler and now a spirited little girl who can be as annoying as wonderful at the same time. I also had to deal with guilt when DD2 was born, I even talked about it with a parenting consultant. Totally normal I was very scared I was going to feel the same way when DD3 was born but I think due to my experience and DD2 being such a mellow little girl, I didn't. As another pp said, the older child needs us in a different way so it's normal for us to feel more attached to the baby at the beginning

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,420

    Default Re: Is it normal for me to feel this way

    I have always felt that different moms handle different ages...differently! Also of course different kids are going to be challenging at different ages.

    Personally my recollection is that I adored every second of the first year with both. I am sure I did not really but that is what I remember! Dear babies, could do no wrong! Hah. Then, Toddlerhood-ugh, for me, was headbangingly frustrating with both my kids. The oldest was a lovely 2 year old, but drove me mad at 3. I felt more connected for a long time to my oldest, because I felt I understood his temperament, while my youngest had me in utter confusion from aboout 18 months to 5 years! Right now my youngest is lovely but my oldest has me pulling my hair out every other day.

    Plus, kids are individuals, and part of respecting that is to understand there are going to ignite individual feelings in us parents.

    I think it is hard when our formerly one and only becomes the oldest and, we think, has thus been supplanted in our affections by the younger, who naturally needs so much but, often, it is easier in many ways to meet those needs. Generally, It's not hard at all to please a 5 month old in comparison to a three year old! But I think it is totally normal and will likely shift many times throughout your kids lives.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    429

    Default Re: Is it normal for me to feel this way

    I think a big part of it too is that I know we plan on having only 3 kids and I love the baby stage so much and the toddler stage with my first has been so frustrating and difficult and I know I will miss my baby days so I just want to relish those with my baby. I hope she doesn't wean for a long time because I need as much as I can get!
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,110

    Default Re: Is it normal for me to feel this way

    I'm right there!! This is our last baby and if it were by me, I would keep having babies, I'd love to have 4 but we decided 3 is a good number and we are done. I love the baby stage and I'm trying to enjoy DD3 as much as possible without missing anything of the other 2.

    They grow too fast!! :'(

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,894

    Default Re: Is it normal for me to feel this way

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lovemygirlso1 View Post
    I think a big part of it too is that I know we plan on having only 3 kids and I love the baby stage so much and the toddler stage with my first has been so frustrating and difficult and I know I will miss my baby days so I just want to relish those with my baby. I hope she doesn't wean for a long time because I need as much as I can get!
    Interesting. For me, I think a large part is that this is my last baby. And I do love the baby stage. They are so easy to control But also because my son (my youngest) needs me. I have more patience for that than acting out to get my attention. And like PP mentioned. I'm much more aware with this child. With my daughter I was navigating my new status as mom and trying to figure out what I was doing. I'm more confident now and can just enjoy my son and bond. Which is why I'm glad that I had my daughter first. Because I wanted a girl so badly, no matter what she and I will always have that. A mother and daughter have a very special bond all their own.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    la paz, bolivia
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Is it normal for me to feel this way

    just wanted to say thank you for sharing all these experiences -- i guess that could be a general thank you to all the posts on this forum but this thread particularly hits a chord with me as i only have one baby but am planning on more (soon hopefully! once af comes back, sigh). i worry sometimes about future kids and my connection with them, about how dd1 will feel about it, etc etc. so it's really helpful to read other people's experiences. so, yeah, nothing to add, except thank you.
    ♥♥♥♥ baby girl born 4-14-2011 ♥♥♥♥
    ♥♥♥♥ baby girl born 11-14-2013 ♥♥♥♥

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    429

    Default Re: Is it normal for me to feel this way

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mellowtrouble View Post
    just wanted to say thank you for sharing all these experiences -- i guess that could be a general thank you to all the posts on this forum but this thread particularly hits a chord with me as i only have one baby but am planning on more (soon hopefully! once af comes back, sigh). i worry sometimes about future kids and my connection with them, about how dd1 will feel about it, etc etc. so it's really helpful to read other people's experiences. so, yeah, nothing to add, except thank you.
    I had all those fears too before I had dd2. I think it all balances out eventually
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

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