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Thread: HELP!!!! need to wean for med reasons :(

  1. #1

    Exclamation HELP!!!! need to wean for med reasons :(

    I need to wean my toddler (17 months old) for medical reasons. I need to take medication that is not safe for the baby to eat. There are no alternatives. I wish there were. Both of us are very very attached to our nursing relationship and I have NO IDEA how I am going to do this :-( We co-sleep part of the night and nurse a LOT during that time. She nurses to sleep and I put her in her crib. I am anti-CIO and I am very pro-attachment parenting, and I am just not being given alternatives here. I am devastated.

    Gradual weaning is not an option. I have a week. :-( PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me find a way to convince her to wean in a way that won't hurt her too much :-(

    Again, please do not suggest that I look into other medical alternatives, I assure you I have but cannot share that stuff for personal reasons. :-( My older daughter self-weaned at a much older age so I am just beside myself right now :-(

    I am also a single mom so I have no help to do this. So please try not to suggest having their dad put them to sleep. I am all alone in this. Please help!!!!!!!!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: HELP!!!! need to wean for med reason

    mama. I'm sorry. Honestly, there really isn't a gentle way to do it fast. I wish there were. You might try offering bottles with milk or water or that toddler formula (not sure if it would be necessary if she eats a lot of solids). When I had to wean my son cold turkey, nights were the hardest. I had to wear long sleeve crew neck t-shirts so there was less skin contact and keep bottles at the ready so I could get them quickly. The bottles made things easier for me, but my son was only 9 months and still needed them. Does she take bottles now at all? What about a pacifier? I'm not sure if those are things you'd want to introduce at this point, but if she's already using them it will help.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: HELP!!!! need to wean for med reason

    Boo--that sounds crappy. I hope all goes well for you on the medical front.

    Just some ideas that are swimming around in my head:

    Dr. Jay Gordon has a night weaning plan that is attachment parenting friendly. The time frame should work with what you need.

    If you can, get out a lot while you are trying to wean. I think distraction often helps. I am wondering if at that age they might be able to reason a bit about it? Perhaps you two could pick out a special stuffed animal for cuddles--Build-a-bear, if it is in your budget, is good for that sort of thing.

    You may need to pump and dump for a few days to make sure that you don't end up with a plugged duct/mastitis.

    Again I am sorry you have to go through this and that I don't have better suggestions. Maybe someone else will chime in with something.

    ETA: Here are some more ideas.
    Last edited by @llli*scienceteachermommy; February 8th, 2012 at 03:32 PM.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

  4. #4
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    Default Re: HELP!!!! need to wean for med reason

    So sorry, mama! At least you're looking at weaning a toddler, rather than weaning an infant. It's probably going to be more challenging because she's old enough to have an opinion about what she wants, and to fight for it. But at least you don't have to worry about her nutrition- you got her all the way through the first year, when breastmilk was most critical. I am with the suggestions provided by the PPs, in particular the suggestion to get out and about as much as possible. My kids usually forget to nurse when their surroundings are really interesting. Having lots of yummy snacks and drinks around can also be helpful- sometimes toddlers use the breast as their snack between meals, and if you can push the cheese or fruit or whatever your LO likes to snack on she may not seek the breast as much. Oh- and when you're home try to avoid your/her favorite nursing locations. When baby sees mama sit down in the nursing chair, it triggers the thought of nursing.

    I know it can be really hard for a dedicated AP mama to see her baby cry. But crying isn't always wrong, when it's unavoidable. If your child were crying for a cookie or to watch more TV, or because she wants to crawl into the tiger cage at the zoo, would you give in just because she's crying? When mama has to wean, the breast is like the cookie. Your child may be crying for it, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to give to her.

    It sounds like you have researched the medication which you must take pretty thoroughly. If you haven't done this already, I just want to suggest contacting Infant Risk: http://www.infantrisk.com/ and seeing what they say about the medication you need. The reason I suggest it is not that I doubt you- it's that too may times I have seen mamas come here convinced by a doc that they must wean ASAP, only to discover that they were given erroneous or at least overcautious advice.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: HELP!!!! need to wean for med reason

    I am so sorry

    Also, not nursing does not automatically make you a "non-attachment mainstream" parent. I exclusively pump and feed with a bottle, but I also co-sleep and rock him to sleep with his milk. I've never done CIO. There are alot of "attachment parenting" things you can still do without nursing.

    And it may sound crazy, but my son (14 mo) often falls asleep while being bounced on an exercise ball, no milk. Try it!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: HELP!!!! need to wean for med reason

    Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry sleep solution might have some ideas for the sleep issue as well. I was able to get a copy from the library.
    I am Erin--happily married to the nerd of my dreams for 15 years
    High School Science Teacher
    Mother to: Thing 1 9/23/01, bf 15 mo, diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma 1/29/02, officially cancer free for ten years in August 2012
    Thing 2 6/6/05, bf 12 mo, obsessed with dynamite
    Glowworm 2/18/11, bf 15 months and counting

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