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Thread: Mom/baby separation after csection

  1. #81
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    If we had another, we'd use the same hospital. The care he (and I) received there far surpassed the inconvenience, and for us, in the big picture, it was a few days in a much longer lifetime.

    ETA: The pediatrician did not write the orders I asked for. There was not sufficient staff to support them, though he ended up in special care due to our blood issues, so it ended up being a non-issue.

  2. #82
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post

    I guess the whole point to this entire discussion is if you have to have a section, do it in a baby-friendly hospital. If that isn't possible, have your pediatrician write orders to have baby stay with you at all times barring GA. If that doesn't work, have someone designated to be in charge of baby and ready to stand up for your wishes if you can't.

    Crazy that you have to be ready to fight for what you want.
    Or just relax. And accept that the polices are not a personal attack on YOU and your baby. And if they don't have a separate recovery on the L&D ward and you ARE going to be in a ward with EVERYONE in hospital consider that. Both from the standpoint of possible infection, consideration to the people around you and your nurse. It's not a battle we all need to fight. And it certainly DOES NOT dictate whether or not your breastfeeding relationship will be successful.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #83
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    But there are certain things I do not want. That I KNOW, after having had four babies out of the hospital, are absolutely not necessary for my baby's well being or mine. And I would fight for those things. Having my baby with me at all times would absolutely be one of them. It's not an attack on me, but it's an attack on trying to normalize what is not an ideal situation, and it sure won't help a mom who might be feeling upset about having to have a C-section feel any better about it. Of my friends who had an emergency C, who had their babies taken away, that is what they most remember. And it makes every one of them mad, and every one of them says if they had known they could request otherwise, or insist otherwise, they would have.

    No, it won't always mean breastfeeding will be problematic, but there are studies that show it sure does not help the situation.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #84
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    Have you ever had a c-section though? Or been faced with having your baby in a ward with a bunch of people coming out of surgery for things other than having a baby? Please remember that there are those of us (gasp) who don't even feel BAD or Ashamed of our c-sections. Only irritated that we had to wait so long to have them. I was quite happy to have my hands free. First so I could call everyone and tell them I had my baby. And then to scratch the isht out of myself as the anesthesia wore off. And then to really FOCUS on how I couldn't move or feel my body. I was FINE with it. I trusted my DH and my mom to take care of my baby. And that is the thing. It's FAIRLY NORMAL. There are enough c-section births that they HAVE policies and procedures in place for them. And since the OP ALREADY KNOWS that she is having one I have to assume she is planning hers. So it's not an emergency.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #85
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    I get that it does not bother you.

    But this whole thread was started by a mother who IS bothered by the idea of mother-baby separation. SHE does NOT want it. Period.

    She came here looking for ideas on how to change that for her next birth. We don't know the circumstances.

    For all we know, what happened to her might be like what happened to a friend of mine. They took the baby, took the baby into another room after showing her the baby, and she was left in a room totally alone to recover. She didn't even know if the baby was alive. The baby was totally fine, but she had no idea. Her husband did not even know where she was. Thanks to hospital policy.

    So maybe the OP, whom we seem to have scared off as she has not been back posting on her thread, had a similar experience.

    And instead of telling her to suck it up, maybe we could be a little more supportive of what she would like to change for her next birth.

    And FWIW, none of my newborns have ever cried once they were out and settled. So the argument, in my mind, of "so baby won't bother the other people in recovery" is moot. Because my non-medicated births resulted in quiet babies. How often do we have moms coming here saying their babies are too sleepy post-birth? Lots. I'd think a section baby would be even quieter because of the drugs given to mom, so the actual risk of a newborn, like hours old newborn, disturbing anyone is fairly small.

    I don't need to have a section to know the system just does not work. When I have one friend who has a baby friendly C-section, who never is separated from her baby, whose wishes regarding baby care are followed, I know it does not have to be like the majority of moms tell me, where they feel like they are just another number on the white board. It's only for a few days, but I know plenty of moms who mourn their birth experiences their whole lives. We just don't talk about it much, and we shut them up with, "but you have a healthy baby."
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  6. #86
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    Actually, I didn't get the impression that she was either resentful about having to have a c-section or upset about the separation. To me it seemed the only issue was that the baby not be given formula. We are assuming that the only way she wants to do that is by never leaving the baby's side. She was also looking for real life experience. And honestly, we can each talk about what our hospitals allowed or what we could get leniency on, but that doesn't directly relate to her hospital. Not everyone wants to fight for change or set and example. Some people are just fine with following rules, but they are looking for the best way to fit within those rules.

    I don't find support in forcing my values on someone. She asked how to get the hospital to not give formula. I think based on answering that question exactly as it was asked, a doula/husband/or any advocate sounds like the most reasonable option. Women feel guilty about c-sections because of pressure from others. Because the "natural society" tells them they should with constant articles and studies about how unnatural a c-section birth is.

    Susan, you have been quite lucky that none of your situations warranted a hospital birth. But not all of us were "born to birth babies" so we need a little medical assistance. Because of that, we need to do it completely different than you have. And we will never see eye to eye about it. Because for us, being alive and having our healthy baby is what it's about.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  7. #87
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    I got the distinct impression she was upset about the separation in addition to the formula. See the frown?

    Has anyone else had to deal with a mandatory separation after cesarian? thanks for all your help!

    I have lots of friends who had C-sections. And I am incredibly lucky I didn't have one with my first. It's a miracle I didn't have one.

    So I do get that sometimes medical assistance is needed. But medical assistance does not mean that mom and baby cannot have the best start possible, beginning with the delivery. And when that medical assistance results in PTSD for some moms, then that is a problem. I know that there are moms who are OK with what goes down, but there are just as many who are not.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  8. #88
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    Actually that isn't what she came here for. She wants to know how to make sure to her baby doesn't get formula during their separation. Not change hospital policy. Just figure out how to not have the child given formula while away from her.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*blessed.mommy View Post
    Hello Ladies!

    I need a few tips in dealing with a post-ceserian hospital policy. The hospital I will be delivering at has a MANDATORY 4 HOUR mommy/baby seperation after cesarian. While I completely disagree with the policy and think its completely unfounded if mom & baby are healthy and recovered well, I understand that I wont be able to change the policy. With my last daughter (whom I also delivered via cesarian at the same hospital) they gave her a bottle during those 4 hrs in the nursery, EVEN AFTER I made it clear I was planning on BF. After endless attempts getting her to latch and a few months of pumping, I resorted to formula feeding her. Needless to say, I am hesitant this will repeat itself. Any pointers or tips on what I can do to make this time a success? Has anyone else had to deal with a mandatory separation after cesarian? thanks for all your help!
    Looks to me like she was already planning on following hospital policy. Not looking for away around it. Just looking to preserve her breastfeeding relationship. And since there are those of us who have had c-sections AND been able to breastfeed successfully AND able to have our wishes protected by having someone go with our child, I was telling her that it possible. Not to suck it up. Just that given her situation I know she can be successful within confines she has been given.

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #89
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    But the surest way to preserve the breastfeeding relationship may be to look for a way around the policy, right? There are no guarantees that she'll be able to find a way around it, in which case yeah, it's absolutely possible to nurse successfuly even if you don't get the "ideal" start! But if she can- if it's as simple as getting to docs and nurses on board with being an exception to the rule, or as complex as going for a VBAC- why not suggest it?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  10. #90
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    Default Re: Mom/baby separation after csection

    I don't think that being separated at birth after having my insides laid on a table and then shoved back inside of me was less than ideal. I think it made perfect sense. I didn't want my child out of my sight so to speak. And I was excited to get back to him, but I felt like having my mother or DH with him was like having my eyes on him. AND I think that suggesting a VBAC to someone who has already made the choice to have a scheduled c-section isn't really supportive. She wanted to know if any of us have had SUCCESS being separated and continuing to breastfeed and not be undermined at the hospital. So at that point I don't really think it's all that supportive to suggest she re evaluate HOW she gives birth and suggest that she campaign to change the hospital policy while she is at it. And I also don't really think that a bunch of women who haven't ever had c-sections talking about how HORRIBLE it is that that's the hospital policy makes any sense either. Like you don't really know how you would feel if you had had a c-section. IF that was your experience and you were still successful talk about HOW. But I think that inferring that the BEST thing she can do is look at V-bacing and DEMANDING to keep her baby.....really? OK.

    Way too lazy for formula

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