Mom/baby separation after csection

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

I would say that at least half of the folks who have been having this conversation did have c-sections. And some of us were bothered by the separation. But I do agree, Shelly, about having the dad or another support person go with the baby.

ETA: I did successfully nurse Lilah. But I think that being separated (although she was in the NICU, not really the same thing) contributed to to the issues that we had A LOT. Now, I don't know if we had only been separated for four hours if things would have been better but I didn't have a chance to establish the on demand nursing from the get go, and she had a bunch of bottles - they were all my milk/colostrum - but that may have caused some of the early issues that I had. Things were MUCH easier with Trixie, and I don't think it was because I had a VBAC, I think it was because I knew how to nurse and was able to nurse her every time she cried that first day. Also, Lilah was given a pacifier because she was crying any time I wasn't touching her. I think we all wanted to give this mom who came here asking questions our perspective and what happened for us.

[@llli*kst.7399]

But the surest way to preserve the breastfeeding relationship may be to look for a way around the policy, right? There are no guarantees that she'll be able to find a way around it, in which case yeah, it's absolutely possible to nurse successfuly even if you don't get the "ideal" start! But if she can- if it's as simple as getting to docs and nurses on board with being an exception to the rule, or as complex as going for a VBAC- why not suggest it?

I agree the suggestions are valid. However this thread started to sound like a wrong vs right way dispute. There just is no one right way. There is support and then there is leaving someone thinking you weren't the right person to ask because you weren't listening and are trying to force your values on me. And you said it again right there. The ideal start. That's the ideal start for you. If my daughter came down the birth canal we would both be dead. Ideal for us was c-section. And it was ideal for her to go to the NICU to have her lungs filled with air. And it was ideal for me to come out of the anesthesia.

[@llli*mommal]

That's why I put "ideal" in quotations. Because the real ideal is very dependent on the circumstances. Sorry if that didn't come across in writing.

[@llli*lidarln]

I don't think that being separated at birth after having my insides laid on a table and then shoved back inside of me was less than ideal. I think it made perfect sense. I didn't want my child out of my sight so to speak. And I was excited to get back to him, but I felt like having my mother or DH with him was like having my eyes on him. AND I think that suggesting a VBAC to someone who has already made the choice to have a scheduled c-section isn't really supportive. She wanted to know if any of us have had SUCCESS being separated and continuing to breastfeed and not be undermined at the hospital. So at that point I don't really think it's all that supportive to suggest she re evaluate HOW she gives birth and suggest that she campaign to change the hospital policy while she is at it. And I also don't really think that a bunch of women who haven't ever had c-sections talking about how HORRIBLE it is that that's the hospital policy makes any sense either. Like you don't really know how you would feel if you had had a c-section. IF that was your experience and you were still successful talk about HOW. But I think that inferring that the BEST thing she can do is look at V-bacing and DEMANDING to keep her baby.....really? OK.

I haven't read through everything that's been said the past few days but i did want to say that these two (in bold) do not have to be mutually exclusive.

you can have a repeat section and ask that your baby stay near you. I was separated for far too long from Silas and if/when I have another child (It will be a mandatory section for a long list of reasons) I will not be put into that situation again.

[@llli*amysmom]

I think the original questions about VBAC were honest ones. I know that after my c-section, a repeat was 'assumed' by my OB at my 6 week post-partum check up. I had no clue. I wouldn't have really considered it without some gentle prodding by some great ladies around here. It's not to say that a VBAC is the only option, but rather that posters wanted to see if it had been considered or not. No more, no less.

The mandatory separation does tweak a lot of people the wrong way. Why is it mandatory? If baby is doing well and Mom is recovering well, why does baby have to be separated? Is it policy or simply practice? In which case, it can be altered. You'll never know if they'll change it unless you ask, consider their criteria and why they approach it in the way that they do. There's no harm in asking.

In the end, as I posted earlier in the thread - we had a rough start with an immediate separation after emergency c-section, 8 day stay in the NICU, formula / bottle feeding, etc. We still nursed for 17 months and were off formula within the first 2 weeks. We were successful at EBF, regardless of our start. It CAN be done. It's not easy, but all of the above doesn't have to signal the end before you start.

[@llli*maddieb]

I have not read through the entire thread, but from the comments I have read, it seems that something has gotten lost...
The issue that was originally raised was not whether or not it is EVER appropriate to separate mother and child after c-section. A mother or child being in medical distress would possibly be a reason for separation after any type of birth.

The issue that was raised (really as a side issue) in the original post was the appropriateness of hospitals having a firm and rigid policy that routinely separates ALL c-section mothers from their babies for a prescribed number of hours after birth. This routine, across the board separation is demonstrably not appropriate and leads to unnecessary separations that, in turn, may lead to issues that compromise both the mothers and baby's health and recovery long term. Most C-section moms had a spinal block or similar, not general anesthesia, and are thus aware and awake during and after surgery, and many are thus perfectly capable, (and desirous of) while lying on a bed or gurney post-op, of holding their babies on their chests, and (if baby wishes) nursing shortly after birth. No, mom does not feel great, may feel ill, have headache, vomiting, etc. But so may moms after any type of birth, particularly if there were meds, and no such routine separations are considered appropriate (any longer) after vaginal births. I am not sure what the numbers are, but certainly a good number of c-section born babies do not go to the NICU, certainly neither of mine did. The routine separation policies are usually in place because there is one section of the hospital which is set aside for ALL post op patients to recover and be cared for by a small staff in one room. So such overriding policies ARE largely about institutional convenience and staffing costs. Since C-section moms pay the hospital far more for their children’s births than vaginal birth moms, this is particularly frustrating. Yes, post-op, mom needs to be monitored, but this does not have to happen in a general “recovery ward.”

This is not to say that allowing mother and baby to always be together post-op is what is appropriate for all mothers and all babies at all times, but merely to say that the institutional insistence on ROUTINE separation is not necessary and potentially harmful, as is evidenced by the great number of hospitals which have stopped such practices.

BTW, early on in the discussion, the mom who started this thread was given lots of tips for helping her succesfully breastfeed after c-section, even with separation.

[@llli*sch.mommy]

you say: "I understand that it's your hospital's policy to have baby brought to the nursery while I'm in recovery. The last time I had a baby here he/she was given formula and I'd like to discuss how we can work with the policy while making sure that this doesn't happen again. I will be breastfeeding and do not want any formula given - especially during those first 4 hours. Would it be okay if my dh/mother/sister/etc accompany the baby to the nursery and stay there with him/her during my recovery? What about if I had someone check into my room and keep the baby there? Is there a way to have a sign placed on my baby's cubicle informing all staff that there are to be no bottles given? What about if I brought in a baby hat that said: "please don't give me a bottle." - would something like that work? I'm open to any and all suggestions that you have I just want to give myself and this baby the best chance at a successful breastfeeding relationship, and I know that the first few weeks are critical in achieving this."