Mom/baby separation after csection

[@llli*Leslie]

And all I was trying to say was that if we step back for a moment and look at policies - many times they aren't put in place JUST for convenience or because it makes someones life easier. Many times they are put in place because previous experiences has dictated a NEED for them. That is not always the case. I don't know her hospital and her staffing.

But there are ALWAYS 2 sides to every coin. A mom has the right to refuse that her baby not be taken away. And a nurse has the right to refuse to put her livelihood at risk by taking on such a patient. And just as that mama is doing what she has to do to achieve the best outcome for HER, that nurse is doing the same exact thing. And no one can fault her for that either. Because if anyone has known what it's like and how hard to is to earn that license and make it through the grueling demands of school...then they'd understand why a nurse is going to protect that and put that over a mom's feelings.

Having experienced BOTH sides of the coin...I get it. I get not wanting to be separated from your baby. It was AWFUL to not see Shiloh for almost 2 days after he was born. The pain of that separation was acute. But on the nursing side, so is walking in to a room and finding a mother that is still coming out of the anesthesia from the c-section having dropped her baby on the floor and having to stand before a board and being questioned on why your patient is now in ICU with a subdural hematoma and an intra-cranial hemorrhage. (that wasn't just made up either, it happened to a friend of mine that just graduated last May). Those policies are put in place to protect ALL parties involved.

All this to say - I'm giving birth at home because I do not want to be separated from my child AND because I'd like to work at that hospital some day and I WOULD be the patient to throw a fit and be "remembered" for all the wrong reasons

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

You could say the same thing about VBACs Leslie. ALL VBACs. and Home birth. and other scenarios where something bad happens very rarely and then produces a knee jerk reaction.

[@llli*Leslie]

You could say the same thing about VBACs Leslie. ALL VBACs. and Home birth. and other scenarios where something bad happens very rarely and then produces a knee jerk reaction.

I could say what?

[@llli*magnoliahoney]

I also take offense that I want to stick it to the "man" as that would be sticking it to my parents.

My dad was a NICU nurse for about 15 years and has been on MICU for the last 25 years. He's a RN and a bunch of other initials.

My mom's a doctor, a DO (doctor of osteopathy, which she is a general practice family dr for those who don't know what a DO is. Not trying to be condescending, but my mil who is a LPN kept going on and on about her nursing knowledge-which is nill to none, she doesn't believe in breastfeeding, etc etc, and I finally said that my mom was a DO and I took her medical knowldge a bit more then hers, she said a DO was a psychiatrist and not a real dr...um...NO, again confirming to me her vast medical knowledge not being near as vast! lol).

So NO I don't want to just stick it to the man, I do want certain things though that I believe are best for me and my baby. And I don't just go like a sheep to the slaughter cause they say it's policy. I did that the first 2 decades of my life, thinking drs knew better maybe.. ..and boy am I still paying for some of that today...mainly a BAD dr messing up royally on a surgery he did to me, and has now lost his liscence and not because of me but because of the MANY botched surgeries he did.

[@llli*Leslie]

Of course doc's don't want to do VBACs because of the liability. And who can blame them in this litigious society. If I look at someone wrong then I could get sued. Do I think that there's a HUGE risk with homebirths or VBACs? No. I'm all for them. But if I'd gone to school for 12-14yrs and was $200,000 in debt, would I think twice about taking on the liability of being sued in the event that something could go wrong? D@mn straight, I would

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

And all I was trying to say was that if we step back for a moment and look at policies - many times they aren't put in place JUST for convenience or because it makes someones life easier. Many times they are put in place because previous experiences has dictated a NEED for them. That is not always the case. I don't know her hospital and her staffing.
D

Sorry. This.

[@llli*still.here]

Tracie

We are saying the same thing Leslie- the nurse will do what she has to do, the patient will do what she has to do. Until we have a better system of maternity care (medical care in general, really) that's all any of us can do.

[@llli*Leslie]

Tracie

We are saying the same thing Leslie- the nurse will do what she has to do, the patient will do what she has to do. Until we have a better system of maternity care (medical care in general, really) that's all any of us can do.

AGREED. I think the point that I was trying to say was that the nurse, policy, etc isn't trying to do what they're doing to be mean or sabotage bonding. I think that they're trying to keep things as safe for their patients AND cover their butts. And I can't blame them at all.

It sucks, but it is what it is. Maybe if people didn't sue at the drop of a hat, things would be different. But I think that a huge part of why there are these policies in place have come from previous negative experiences.

[@llli*timsmom]

This thread is making me not want any more children.

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

This thread makes me grateful to never have had a baby in the hospital. It was bad enough fighting to get to have Gavin in a freestanding birth center because of his known birth defect and that doctor spouting off about how cleft babies all have heart defects, which is not evidenced based at all.

If we have any more, I'll consider home birth again, even if I have to pay 100% for it. Because the system is messed up.

I guess the whole point to this entire discussion is if you have to have a section, do it in a baby-friendly hospital. If that isn't possible, have your pediatrician write orders to have baby stay with you at all times barring GA. If that doesn't work, have someone designated to be in charge of baby and ready to stand up for your wishes if you can't.

Crazy that you have to be ready to fight for what you want.