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Thread: Disappointed, ready to give up - help!

  1. #61
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default Update

    Girls, thank you so much for your tips. You make my pumping life easier!

    My baby's weight today was 3840 g. So she's gained, which is great. I'm giving her some 350 ml of controlled milk per day, of both my milk and formula, and BFing as much as she wants. I will go on with the pumping and gradually eliminate the bottles. I hope she will accept that! Sometimes she'd reject the breast, I guess the milk comes too slowly...

    And! I'm not seeing that nurse anymore, I have asked for a substitution :-)

    Thank you again for your support, chicas de la leche. Don't know what I would be doing without you!

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    81

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    So how are things going? What about your new nurse?

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Well... The new nurse is very nice and friendly, and she is supporting me on BFing. But the baby is becoming more and more reluctant to nurse, she prefers the bottles, of course, and I'm devastated to see how all these days and nights of BFing and pumping are not getting us anywhere after all.
    Also, the pediatrician says that her weight gain is improving but it absolutely needs to keep on going that way. But if the baby is not taking the breast, I'll have to give her more bottles to ensure she gains weight as expected.
    How can I stop this circle? Please don't tell me to get those cables to put on my nipples and feed her from the bottles that way because I can't do that, it would uncompatible with the life I have.
    Ah, I'm so discouraged again! Why does it have to be so complicated to BF? And at this point, am I overdoing it? I just want to give my baby what's best, but is this it?
    I'm going nuts :-(

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    140

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Your not overdoing it breast milk is the best thing for your baby and worth the work and frustration to make it work.

    My baby is a week younger than yours, so I'm very new to BFing too. I'm glad your new nurse is supporting you but she may not know enough about BFing to help you through the tough times. I say that because my mom is 100% behind me BFing and is a registered nurse but because she didn't have any issues BFing me she can't help me problem solve either. She just gets to tell me I'm doing a good job. With that being said I would keep in contact with the IBCLC that you spoke with and keep coming here and reading other posts. I have found reading others problems have helped me a lot.

    I didn't notice anyone giving you this site http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...ight-gain.html this has the discussion about normal weight gain and here is the metric tables http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...in-metric.html The information is also backed by evidence based information (the best kind in the scientific world) However, going back to some of your earliest post in this discussion, you said your baby was alert and happy. This was when you were mostly BFing so I think your baby is getting plenty from just you BFing her even though her weight gain may not be within the norms. If it were me I would only supplement with your expressed milk. My LC suggested fenugreek to boost my supply. After a nursing session I sometimes don't even get 20 mL total and he is gaining just fine. So your pumped amount has nothing to do with what baby is getting. Having little may just mean she is getting all the goods. Also check out the pumping and working forum there is lots of great info there about supply issues and pumping. AS WELL AS getting baby back to breast, which at this point seems to be your biggest concern. 7 weeks is still so young I think you can get your baby back to breast with some work. check out this post http://forums.llli.org/showthread.ph...eks-post-birth it looks like some helpful information.

    I think your doing great, try not to worry so much as long as baby is alert, happy and making wet/dirty diapers. Easier said than done though and know your doing your best, if you weren't you wouldn't have come here for help in the first place.

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,374

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    I think Mommal gave her those links in the very beginning. And I agree. Some milk is certainly better than no breastmilk. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. But I certainly would do what was needed to give my child all the breastmilk I could even if it wasn't going to be all that he ate. Just like now that he is older I work very very hard to make sure he eats a certain number of Fruits and veggies every day. I don't compromise on that number. Ever. Because I know it's Not ALL that he is going to eat. But I try to make sure he gets a certain amount of nutrition every day regardless of what else he gets. Because the other things he is eating aren't ever going to substitute what he is getting from Fruits and veggies. Does that make sense? Supplement if you must for weight gain. But don't make the mistake of thinking that what your child is getting from formula is actually a reasonable Substitute what your child is getting from you and your milk. Because it really is not. Formula has it's place. It keeps orphans with no mothers alive. But it's substandard nutrition and its not the exact right food for YOUR baby. Which YOUR milk absolutely is. Keep at it Mama. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. But your baby deserves your milk.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Thanks, ladies. You make me smile :-)

  7. #67

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Have you tried using this technique when bottle feeding? http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfedbaby.pdf This may cut down on the flow/nipple confusion that is possibly causing the breast resistance. Not sure it will undo what has already occurred but worth a try?

    Also, if you are able to ever pump enough to supplement entirely with your own milk, it also may be possible to simply nurse enough to meet baby’s needs. If that is still a possibility, then that may certainly be something to work towards, as of course exclusive nursing is easier than needing to pump and /or supplement as well. If not, I certainly agree that getting baby some breastmilk, for as long as possible, will pay dividends in your babies health for a lifetime.

    When breastfeeding is really difficult, it can feel so frustrating and unfair, and every mom must decide-sometimes several times-if it is still 'working' for her and her family to keep up the striggle. When/if a mom has such severe difficulties that make nursing too hard for her, and she becomes well and truly done, and needs to move away from trying to nurse or even from trying to ep, I believe that as long as she has been given good assistance, sound advice, and feels she has tried all avenues open to her to make nursing work, I believe she will know in her heart when the time has come and has peace with the decision.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default Not quite there yet!

    lllmeg, that article is going to put us back on track, thank you so much! After just two bottles given as described on the article, my baby seems more convinced about BFing, and hopefully she will fall for it completely again!

    And about this you wrote:

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    When breastfeeding is really difficult, it can feel so frustrating and unfair, and every mom must decide-sometimes several times-if it is still 'working' for her and her family to keep up the striggle. When/if a mom has such severe difficulties that make nursing too hard for her, and she becomes well and truly done, and needs to move away from trying to nurse or even from trying to ep, I believe that as long as she has been given good assistance, sound advice, and feels she has tried all avenues open to her to make nursing work, I believe she will know in her heart when the time has come and has peace with the decision.
    I know exactly what you mean. And I'm not quite there yet! :-) With the support and serious advice I'm getting from the Leche ladies, how could I give up? It is very hard at times, but I will go on as much as I possibly can. Every day is a victory!

    We will weight the baby again tomorrow. I'm crossing my fingers...

    Thanks again, lecheras!

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    The other thing....if you have to give a bottle to supplement, finish at the breast every single time.

    And honestly, if an SNS will save your breastfeeding relationship, it will be worth it. Get a Lact-Aid one, as you can fill the bags and store them, then just switch them out. You can tape it on and leave it. You can nurse laying down with it. It's very like nursing and would perhaps save time, as you wouldn't be pumping, feeding, breastfeeding, then pumping again. You could give the supplemental feeding at the breast.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    OK, I'm buying an SNS today. Any tips?

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