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Thread: Disappointed, ready to give up - help!

  1. #41
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post
    Since you have so much milk, I would suggest starting each feeding in the one you ended with. The reason...you can get more fatty milk into the baby faster, so baby gets more fat. Switch off when she stops or slows in her eating. Do you do any napping with baby? If not, do some and dream feed her. Sneak in some extra sessions.
    Yes, well, I'm not sure I have so much milk, that's the problem. I'always BF as you suggest; the baby should be getting enough fat milk. And I sleep with the baby since her birth. Actually she's been on me constantly, every day, all day long - and all night too, of course- nursing, sleeping or just making funny faces.

    But she's not gaining weight and this is getting dangerous. I am very sad, because BF doesn't seem to be enough for her. But I can't understand why! I'm a healthy woman, she seems to be a healthy baby. I guess I just have to accept it the way it is. Very sad! :-(

  2. #42
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*yaiza View Post
    Yes, well, I'm not sure I have so much milk, that's the problem. I'always BF as you suggest; the baby should be getting enough fat milk. And I sleep with the baby since her birth. Actually she's been on me constantly, every day, all day long - and all night too, of course- nursing, sleeping or just making funny faces.

    But she's not gaining weight and this is getting dangerous. I am very sad, because BF doesn't seem to be enough for her. But I can't understand why! I'm a healthy woman, she seems to be a healthy baby. I guess I just have to accept it the way it is. Very sad! :-(
    This is totally incorrect IMO. She IS gaining weight. She may not be gaining weight at the rate your nurse likes to see but SHE IS GAINING. She is NOT LOSING and not even having stalls. Gains. Every week. And wetting enough diapers. AND Your breasts are Full all the time now. So the fact that you have increased your demand shows you are also increasing the amount you make. How active is your baby? And how much of a gain would you need to see to believe that you were doing well?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*yaiza View Post
    Girls, my baby has gained only 60 g in the last week, when I've been BFing her + pumping to increase my supply + giving her some 100 ml formula daily. Now the nurse says there's obviously something wrong with my milk and I should stop BFing and give my baby only formula.
    I'm worried. This baby needs to gain weight, but I'd prefer to BF, of course. What can be wrong with my milk?? :-(
    The Bolded IS A GAIN. And what are G's? Grams? 2.5 oz is that right? If so I agree that is a little on the low side. But it's still a gain. So I would take that information and NOT panic and compare it to her overall growth pattern. I would continue to supplement and decide Where I would be comfortable with her gain. And that would probably be at the 1-3% of her age range. Because that is normal. Someone has to be in the 1% and someone has to be at 100% for there to be a normal range and EVERYONE in that range is fine. So if she is still in it I would not worry at all. If she isn't then I would figure out how much she needs to gain over the next 2-3 weeks to get there and supplement accordingly. Some babies are just small. Especially girls. Especially babies that are very active early. If you and your partner are petite or slight people there is no reason to think her growth curve is going to put her on the heavy side if she is being breastfed. Because that is NOT NORMAL For Her. So don't panic and don't give up.

    Way too lazy for formula

  3. #43
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Thanks, djs. Thanks everybody. As usual, your replies help me putting things into perspective.

    Our baby is very active, I believe. She's very alert and curious :-) And FTR both me and my man are tall and skinny. Our baby looks like a cucumber when she's wearing her green pijamas!

    I spoke to the pediatrician and he told me I need to make sure the baby gets a minimum of 600 ml milk / day. So he suggested the following:

    - Get a serious pump and pump a lot.
    - Give the baby all the milk I get from the pumping.
    - Supplement with formula if necessary.
    - Go on like this until she is gaining some 120 g / week regularly.

    In this way I can control how much milk she's actually taking. I hope that with this my milk supply will become good enough so we can eliminate the formula eventually. But it worries me that I won't be able to go back to BF naturally, that is without having to pump. But OK, I'll figure that out when we get there... Until then, I'll pump as much as I can! Argh, not an appealing panorama ahead, but what else can I do?

    Thanks again.
    Last edited by @llli*yaiza; February 7th, 2012 at 11:53 AM. Reason: Wrong figure: 120 g / week, not / day!!!!

  4. #44
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    But a pump isn't going to give you a clear picture of how much milk you have. Because your baby is way more efficient. I would still offer the breast first, then pump and supplement with that. Especially since you are concerned about becoming an EPer.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  5. #45
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Ok but he needs to calm down some. IF we are talking about grams then that would mean he is looking for a gain of OVER 2lbs a week. And that is ALOT. And anything between .5oz a day and 2oz a day is in the realm of normal. So that means that as long as she gains between 3.5 and 14oz a week the is fine. And 14oz a week is really on the HIGH side. I don't really you should be made to feel like your are failing if your baby isn't gaining 4.25 oz a day!?! Where do you live?

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #46
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Ok but he needs to calm down some. IF we are talking about grams then that would mean he is looking for a gain of OVER 2lbs a week. And that is ALOT. And anything between .5oz a day and 2oz a day is in the realm of normal. So that means that as long as she gains between 3.5 and 14oz a week the is fine. And 14oz a week is really on the HIGH side. I don't really you should be made to feel like your are failing if your baby isn't gaining 4.25 oz a day!?! Where do you live?
    Sorry sorry, my mistake, it's 120 g / week!!

  7. #47
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Just wanted to chime in, though I'm pretty new at this myself (Baby Girl is just 11 weeks tomorrow)!

    At about our 2 week mark, our pediatrician (whom we love) wasn't thrilled with Baby's weight gain. She said to us, "If your baby is going to be a 5th percentile baby, that's fine; however, we want to make sure that she's getting enough nourishment and that's not the reason for the 5th percentile." Made *lots* of sense to us, and my husband and I both felt that we should hunker down and figure out if Baby was a small person or a hungry person. Our doctor recommended supplementing for 3 days and coming back in later that week for a weigh in. Well ... that scared me. I was literally terrified of the slippery slope -- both physical and mental. On top of that, Baby's latch was incredibly painful and she was incredibly sleepy no matter how hard we tried to wake her. I had no idea how we were going to turn it around.

    I did not supplement that night; I pumped furiously and gave baby the pumped milk (and cried while my husband gave her the bottle) -- I at least felt confident that she had gotten more milk and as much as if I had supplemented. Now what?

    The next morning I called my cousin (a family practice doctor who has breastfed two babies -- one of whom was very, very, very challenging to breastfeed). As soon as I told her what was happening, she was ready and told me the following:

    * A lot of this is mental (she said like erectile disfunction!). You can't psych yourself out. You need to be thinking about flowing milk, not that's there's a problem and that's it's a disaster.

    * You need to go "3rd world" with the breastfeeding. We've got iPhones, special pillows, laundry to do, etc. For eons, babies have nursed throughout the day. A sip here, a snack there, a meal, etc. It all adds up. Sit yourself down for 2 or 3 days and (in her professional and familial words) every time that baby opens her mouth, feed her. Nothing in her mouth but a boob. If she squawks, boob. Anything. **This concept and thinking "3rd world" is what turned it around for us in terms of supply and, just as importantly at that stage for me, BF mojo.**

    * She also recommended (from her personal experience) the oatmeal, More Milk Plus, water. All the good stuff!

    3 days later when we went in to get baby weighed, she had gained 3 oz. Phew! I wasn't so scared anymore. I felt like I could at least step up and take better control of things.

    For me it also helped to learn more about fore and hind milk (and let baby come off the breast on her own) and to pay close attention to Baby when I let down (this actually gives me confidence that she's getting nourishment). I also read this forum and looked ahead to the forum for older babies. There are challenges that Mamas are overcoming at every stage. And ... I've got new challenges myself!

    Anyway, that's my two cents - hope it helps a little!

    P.S. Forgot to mention: I feel like it took a good 8 weeks (!) to feel like I was (mostly) getting the hang of it! That's a long time and a lot of time breastfeeding, feeling like a fish out of water!
    *Sweet baby girl born November 2011*

  8. #48
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*yaiza View Post
    Yes, well, I'm not sure I have so much milk, that's the problem. I'always BF as you suggest; the baby should be getting enough fat milk. And I sleep with the baby since her birth. Actually she's been on me constantly, every day, all day long - and all night too, of course- nursing, sleeping or just making funny faces.

    But she's not gaining weight and this is getting dangerous. I am very sad, because BF doesn't seem to be enough for her. But I can't understand why! I'm a healthy woman, she seems to be a healthy baby. I guess I just have to accept it the way it is. Very sad! :-(
    But she IS gaining weight. Maybe not as fast as your doc would like.

    You said your breasts are full. Was I mistaken?

    And with what Shelly said. Some babies are in the 1%. I have a couple of them myself. My second actually fell off the charts. My fourth is hanging on by a thread...and I can guarantee it is not because I have low supply. It is just them. They got the lightweight genes. If that could be true for your family, then maybe 60g is your baby's norm.

    Your doctors plan is going to turn you into an EPer. Don't do it. Nurse, then pump, then feed any pumped milk if necessary. But to pump is NOT a good way to measure your milk supply, and some moms cannot keep their supply with a pump, even a hospital grade pump. If you decide to do this, I'll tell you how to EP, but it's way harder than BFing.

    Any chance of a second opinion?
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  9. #49
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Thanks, Susan.
    I will keep on BFing because that's the only way to comfort my baby anyway, but I'll have to pump a lot regardless, if I want to make sure my baby is swallowing at least 600 ml of milk a day. I am so afraid she might be suffering, I don't want to risk it. I rented a pump in the hospital this afternoon. It's much better thant the one I had at home, it's amazing.
    My breasts seem to be full, yes. But for some reason the baby is not eating enough. Maybe I have a flow issue? Or maybe she's not effective?
    Anyway, another thing now: Today she pooped (finally again!), and it was a lot. First, hard stools, then very fluid ones. I mean VERY fluid. She's been eating a lot of formula lately, and I know she was constipated because of this. But now it seems to be going the other direction... Should I worry about this pseudo-diarreah?
    Thanks again, girls!

  10. #50
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Honestly you need to see an IBCLC. Pediatricians know very little about breastfeeding. I get that it's important to him to get weight on her. But preserving your nursing relationship is NOT a priority for most pedi's. At all. A good LC will evaluate her nursing, latch, weigh before and after feeding, and give you advice on how to help her gain and improve BREASTFEEDING. also this will get your confidence up.
    Mama to five beautiful kids- 9, 8, 3, 2 and currently nursing our new baby girl born 1/20/2013


    "It should not be necessary to tell reasonably intelligent mammals to suckle and not dismember their neonates." ~Susan Blustein

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