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Thread: Disappointed, ready to give up - help!

  1. #71
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,269

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    The SNS can be fiddly to position. I found it very helpful to tape the tube down somewhere in the vicinity of the nipple before attempting to latch baby on.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  2. #72
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default -

    Well well, the SNS is messy but it works. Now my baby is gaining weight, the volume of supplement is decreasing daily as my milk supply is increasing, and the girl wants my breast... but only if that thingy is there! :-( During the night I can breastfeed her normally after a bit if struggle, but during the day she usually gets very fussy unless the SNS is connected. Will I ever be able to get rid of it?
    I'm kind of discouraged again... My baby is almost 9 weeks now, BFing has been a hassle almost from day one. The natural, intimate experience I was looking forward to was first painful, then frustrating, and now it has become almost a technological display, with all this pumping, SNSing etc. All in all in I'm tired and sad.
    Of course, everybody around me has an opinion, and they tend to be anti-BFing. Now also my mother, who has come to visit and "give me a hand", has joined in. And this is just too much. Am I doing it all wrong? Why do I feel so bad?

  3. #73
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,269

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Mama, it is very, very hard when your dream of the perfect breastfeeding relationship turns into an epic struggle with pumps and shields and SNS tubes and weight gain worries. It wasn't until after I had a very hard time nursing my first kid that I realized that breastfeeding is natural, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Sometimes it takes real time and effort for breastfeeding to become easy, pleasant, and "natural".

    Often the people around you see you struggling and they want to "fix" the problem for you. So they suggest formula and tell you that your struggles mean that you must be doing something wrong, and therefore you should just give up. But usually a struggling mom doesn't need someone to "fix" her problem. She needs to be told that she is doing an amazing job, and that her hard work is worthwhile. And you are doing an amazing job, and your effort is worthwhile!!!

    Just keep on going, and be straight with people. Let them know that right now you need their support and their love, and if they have anything critical to say, they should keep it to themselves.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #74
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way, cause I know exactly how you feel! My DS is 4 weeks old today, and Im still struggling with BF'ing. Like you, I also have no support from people around me! I actually told my mother that I was feeling that she wasn't very supportive and she told me that maybe I was feeling like she wasnt because I was being negative about it. The only thing is, she wasn't saying it in a sincere way, she was being snotty!!!!! Hoping you and I and our babies "get it" soon!!!!

  5. #75
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    4,894

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    I'm sorry that you have no real life support. That's so hard. But we are here for you and have been through it. But everything you are doing sounds right. Once weight gain is truly established you should be able to go full force with nursing. Pick a day, deal with the tears (from both of you) and get the baby to the breast.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  6. #76
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Start pinching off the SNS some, so baby has it there, but not getting milk from it.

    I know how you feel I tried so, so hard to nurse my cleft baby, and it just didn't happen like I wanted it to. But there are moms who persevered with less than ideal starts, and they go on to nurse for months and years.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  7. #77
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    70

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - help!

    Hello girls,
    I've been out on a holiday with my little family for some weeks, it has been great. During this time we've had the opportunity to find our way of being parents, to establish our own baby-rutine. And I've been thinking that at my return I should write to you all just to say thanks once again. So here I am!
    My baby will be 3 months tomorrow, and we will be officially out of this forum for newborns ;-) Good timing, as our problems seem to be dissolving.
    I am still BFing my daughter, and I'm so proud of us both for that! Although I need to give her a supplement every day, not really because I don't have the milk but because it seems to be more difficult to get at the end of the day, and she gets desperate and starts to pull my breasts. So I connect the SNS with some 100 ml of formula, she takes maybe half of it, calms down and falls asleep, then later on when she wakes up she goes on nursing normally, without the SNS. It is not ideal but it works: she is gaining weight, pooping more frequently, and she seems very happy in general.
    I don't know if we will be able to wean her from the SNS, but I don't care anymore. Considering where we were some weeks ago, just the fact that I'm able to BF her when she's already 3 months makes me very happy.
    Without your help and support we couldn't had made it. Thank you very much for it. I've learnt a lot with you. I owe you so much!
    Muchas gracias a todas! Hasta la próxima! :-)

  8. #78
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    429

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - help!

    I am so happy things are going well! You may be able to wean her off that last SNS feed eventually if you slowly taper it as your milk production ups but yes that is so wonderful and I am soooooo glad you stuck it out and are doing so well! Great great job!!!
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

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