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Thread: Disappointed, ready to give up - help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    70

    Exclamation Disappointed, ready to give up - help!

    My baby, who will be 5 weeks on Thursday, is not gaining weight as expected, according to the nurse. Therefore she told me I must supplement BF with formula. She scared me a bit, I have to say! She already suggested me giving formula some weeks ago, and I gave the baby formula milk a few times, but then I spoke to other specialists and they told me my baby's weight curve was OK so no supplement was needed. This time I'm not sure what to do.

    My baby's weight at birth was 3160 g, then she lost 100 g which is normal, and now she's 3540 g. She pees a lot but doesn't pooh regularly - last time was some 10 days ago, but then that time she produced three dirty diapers within 12 hours.

    As background info I'll say that the birth was perfect, quick and natural, but the placenta would't come out so I went through a little intervention after delivery, during which I lost 2 l blood. I recovered quicly and felt fine almost inmediately after. But I'm afraid that loss is making my milk too weak. Else, why is my baby not gaining weight? I'm BFing on demand, which for her means almost constantly. She has a good sucking technique according to all specialists who have seen her.

    I'm afraid if I start giving her formula my milk production will decrease and also she will eventually reject my breast because the bottle is easier. But she definetely needs to gain weight!

    What do you think about this whole situation? Thanks.
    Last edited by @llli*yaiza; February 7th, 2012 at 06:13 AM.

  2. #2
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    May 2006
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    20,598

    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    I think you want to stay away from this nurse! Your baby is gaining, and according to this chart it seems like she's gaining at a pretty normal rate: http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/chart3.html. (Please chart her weight yourself- I am in the USA and my metric skills are a bit rusty!)

    Don't worry about blood loss making your milk "weak" or "low calorie". Milk production doesn't work that way. First of all, women don't produce low-calorie milk. What is most important in terms of weight gain is quantity of milk, not quality. That's why it's important to nurse on demand. If your baby seems content to go long stretches between feedings, the best way to increase her weight gain is to offer the breast more often.

    Don't get discouraged! But seriously, stop seeing that nurse.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    with Mommal. I don't see anything wrong there. This nurse is undermining you. A lot of them will. Stop seeing her.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  4. #4
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Just wanted to x1000 with the pps. It sounds like you are doing great despite what she is telling you! Trust your body, your baby, and get a new care provider!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Yep nothing you have posted is cause for alarm. Except the idea that you might supplement and actually damage your supply because your nurse is stupid. Other than that a gain is a gain.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    with everything everyone has said. That nurse is being completely ridiculous. You do NOT need to supplement. Your LO sounds perfect and normal. Just keep feeding on demand and she will continue to do great You're right that feeding formula would hurt your supply and possibly cause nipple confusion. You are doing great mama so don't worry!
    Melissa

    Young SAHM of
    Afton (A1) (1/24/09) and
    Autumn (A2) (8/29/11)

    Sealed in the SLC Temple

    and and now CDing!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Default Not getting any better

    Well, we went to see a pediatrician, and he said that in fact the girl needs to gain more weight. He told me to A) supplement with formula for a couple of weeks and B) pump so my milk supply increases. I'm doing so, ok. But then...

    Problem 1: My baby is beginning to reject my breasts, she cries in a heartbreaking way and accepts only the bottle. What to do? :-(

    Problem 2: My baby hasn't produced any dirty diaper for 14 days. I'm panicking and so is the pediatrician. He introduced a termometer's end with some lubricant into her annus to help her, but nothing happened. He then suggested I tried the same procedure two days later ie today, but again nothing happened... What do you think?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    I'm so sorry you are going through this

    I can help you with problem1, unfortunately I''m not sure about problem2.

    To avoid nipple confusion and still supplement with formula, ask for a LA (lactation aid) it's a simple straw that you attach one end to the nipple (with tape) and the other end goes into a bottle with formula. You will nurse the baby and then add the straw to your nipple and the baby will keep sucking on your breast and getting the formula she needs.
    Do this ASAP and you'll be fine

    Good Luck!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Are you supplementing with formula or not? Because that changes everything. In an exclusively breastfed child, going 14 days with no bowel movement is no cause for alarm. 14days is on the long end of things but I have heard of it happening and children OFTEN go long periods without pooping. It's normal and your child will eventually go on their own. Formula however often causes constipation. And needs to be dealt with accordingly. However the fact that your doctor has a problem with her weight gain AND is panicking with you about the no bowel movement suggest he really doesn't have much breastfeeding education at all. I think that trusting him and supplementing on his orders is a huge mistake. Did you check out the Chart that Mommal linked? Your child seems to be developing fine.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #10
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    Jan 2012
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    Default Re: Disappointed, ready to give up - hel

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    Are you supplementing with formula or not? Because that changes everything.
    Yes, sorry, I should have explained the details better. I gave my baby some formula the first time the nurse told me to do so, that is, around two weeks ago. At that time I gave her 1 - 2 suplements a day of 50 ml each during some 3 days, I think it was. Then I talked to the pediatrician (this was over a weekend so I had to wait until Monday), and he told me there was no need for any suplement at all, as in his opinion the baby was gaining weight fine. I also asked for advice here in LLL, where other mothers were of the same opinion as the pediatrician. So I stopped the formula.
    But then now the nurse says I absolutely need to suplement, and so says the pediatrician. So I'm back to formula, 50 ml per suplement, twice a day.
    As I write this I realise that my baby's constipation started actually that weekend when I was giving her formula suplements... Hum...
    Ladies, I think I will do the following: As I'm pumping anyway to keep up the supply, I will supplement with that milk instead of using the formula. It might be a little less than 100 ml/day, but it has to be better than formula! And besides, her weight gain curve doesn't look terribly bad, just a bit weak in the last week.
    What do you think?

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